The harm in occasional recreational use?

Old 06-11-2012, 07:57 AM
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The harm in occasional recreational use?

Hi all
I’ve been doing a lot of reading about cocaine in the last few weeks to try to understand what happened with my recent ‘relationship’ a bit better. It’s very difficult for me to understand still.

I keep reading about recreational users who can take coke/other drugs on a regular basis and their use of it is controlled – i.e. it doesn’t progress beyond a once a week or couple of times a month habit, and eventually they might grow out of it (which is what my older brother eventually did). The guy that I was seeing was a high functioning recreational user and I wasn’t around long enough to see if his drug use had any major impact on his moods and on the rest of his life. Both my brothers - and this guy - had heavier use when younger that seems to have declined with age so I don't think he'll progress beyond how he is now.

I guess my question is to those who have more experience than me – does the occasional use of drugs really have an impact on someone? I didn’t ask this guy not to take drugs so it wasn’t something we ever argued about but he knew I was shocked when he told me about the family occasions when he’d taken it. Occasional use didn’t bother me as long as it didn’t impact on me. The only thing that would have annoyed me is him changing plans because he was too “wrecked” (his words) to come over to visit, which he did twice in the time I was seeing him.

To those who will tell me to focus on myself…I am trying…I’ve signed up for tennis coaching and tonight I am taking part in a 10k run in the mud and rain here in England. I nearly pulled out but decided to go for it as training for it over the last few weeks has given me something else to think about.
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Old 06-11-2012, 08:12 AM
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Personally - I don't think drug use for any reason is OK, but that's me. In my life using drugs or alcohol usually means covering up something that needs working on. I started using/drinking because I was socially enept and very shy. Drinking allowed me to get around my shyness and interact socially. It didn't make me better at social interactions, it just made it so I didn't care. I didn't solve my issues until I quit and started forcing myself into situations that helped with the shyness. Gaining a greater ability to interact on a social level acceptably ... well let's just say that's still a work in progress. After all, I AM a geek.

That being said it's always the abuse of, not the use of, that causes issues. Over-eating, spending, gambling, drinking, etc.
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Old 06-11-2012, 08:49 AM
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Well, the harm in occasional recreational use is that nobody knows that they are going to become addicted. It always starts out as occasional recreational use. No one begins using with the thought that they may become addicted. It's that "it can't happen to me" attitude.....it sneaks up on them and they're hooked.

Is it worth the risk? That's an individual choice. But for me, the risk of being in a car with someone who is "holding" isn't worth it. If we were to be pulled over and it was discovered in MY purse because the holder needed to ditch it somewhere......I'd be the one facing charges of possession....for instance.

The attitudes and behaviors associated with drug use are what really bother me though. They are not dependable, often irritable, along with a whole myriad of other unacceptable behaviors. And for me, I'd rather not be around it and I certainly wouldn't purposefully get into a relationship with someone who thought even occasional use of drugs was "ok"......because occasional can become frequent and addiction in the blink of an eye. Not worth the risk to me. It would be a deal breaker.

Good for you for getting into the 10k and tennis coaching! Ahhhh.....I remember the days of training for those runs. This old body just can't do it anymore but I sure enjoyed it while I could. I settle for yoga and an elipitical now.....low impact!

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 06-11-2012, 08:50 AM
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My ex could never use recreationally, he is a classic case of 'one is too many, a thousand is never enough'. However.. I've been a recreational cocaine user in the past. It affected my moods, I was cranky a lot and it took me 1-2 days after using to function normally. It was expensive, I was no fun while using (think obnoxious and irritating, I'm normally shy and very considerate of others). I personally used for confidence while I was working behind a bar or dancing for a club event. It might have worked that night but it certainly didn't solve my problem, which was that Im not actually a party girl and being forced into that situation makes me very uncomfortable. I used once or twice a week and it definitely ruled me, by the time Thursday rolled around I couldn't wait to have that first line when I got to work on Friday night! then I'd use Friday and Saturday and spend Sunday, Monday and sometimes Tuesday getting my normal head back on. I don't think drugs are conducive to a healthy person.
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Old 06-11-2012, 11:35 AM
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I've heard of things like weed, lsd, shrooms, etc. being a "once in a while" or "once ever" type thing. Coke, meth, heroin, etc. arent really drugs that people do once in a while. Its almost unheard of. Every time i hear someone say they do one of those evil drugs every once in a while, i add, in my head "that you're willing to admit" or "that people know of".

Its probably b.s.
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Old 06-11-2012, 02:34 PM
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Hi all
Thanks for your responses. It's really useful to hear all your experiences either as users and/or partners of users.

I've been reading a lot on the internet and have come across several research papers that distinguish between those who use recreationally and whose use doesn't progress beyond that and those who are addicted enough to require treatment. My two brothers both used it occasionally in their 20s, one more than the other, but both just grew out of it (having said that, the other was a heavy user of weed for about 10 years and it turned him into a zombie). A few studies that I've read talk about a 'healthy curiousity'.

I've also read the following book and, in it, the author talks about recreational users who use it occasionally but don't ever go on to full blown addiction.

The Candy Machine: How Cocaine Took Over the World: Amazon.co.uk: Tom Feiling: Books

I don't have the links to the research papers that I came across but could probably find them again if anyone is interested.

I think that, because of my brothers' experiences, both off the drugs and responsible adults now, I am fairly tolerant of it. I am wondering though if it would have become a problem for me with the guy that I was seeing eventually. I didn't experience mood swings, he seemed fairly sorted and happy, and in some ways he seemed happier and more sorted than I am. The only impact that it had on me was that he cancelled plans we'd made a couple of times which did annoy me.

I know they're illegal but I work for the National Health Service and the view of two public health directors I know is that legalisation is the way forward. I've had an ongoing e-mail debate with one of them about this as it's not something I ever considered. Anyway, I don't want to start a debate about legalisation here as that wasn't my original point.

I guess I am surprised at my own tolerance of it and would like reassurance that it would have been a problem for me in the end. I do think that regular drug taking must deaden or blunt your emotions - I can't see how it can not do that with the impact they have on the brain chemistry.

By the way, I did my 10k and in my fastest time ever (not particularly fast but fast for me!). I have just about washed the mud off now!

Thanks again everyone.
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:18 PM
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Hey Bristolgirl07,

I saw another post that you did, "Broken up with for a coke habit", and there's a line in there that really stood out to me:

"He told me that I made him nervous and that being around a friend of a friend who is a police officer also made him nervous."

My addicted ex-gf also said that was one of the reasons why she used. Her drugs of choice were opiates and alcohol. She was self-medicating for whatever issues she had. She was beautiful and funny. Her temperament was always up and down though. One minute hot, the next cold. They can be the sweetest people in the world, but also the nastiest. Long-term use of drugs changes people. It changes their brain chemistry. I did research and read a lot on addiction in trying to understand my ex and help her, because like many others I thought I could. She always chose drugs and other druggies over me. Addicts will drag you down with them.

I would recommend reading these two books:

The Science of Addiction: From Neurobiology to Treatment by Carlton K. Erickson

The Addiction Solution: Unraveling the Mysteries of Addiction through Cutting-Edge Brain Science by David Kipper MD

Some people don't agree with what these two books have to say, but to me it made complete sense. We're not addicts so we will never fully understand addicts; but these two books really helped me in trying to grasp some understanding.

I agree with many people on here who say drug use is the covering up of much deeper issues. Someone else posted on here that the harm in recreational drug use is that nobody knows that they are going to become addicted. I think reading those two books will help you understand why there are those that become addicted and those that do not. In my opinion someone that has been a long term recreational user is an addict.

My relationship ended three months ago when my ex completely disappeared on me. The last I heard from her was from her mom telling me she was in the hospital. She OD again. She had already OD a month before that and was also hospitalized. I didn't know if she was dead or alive for months. I have only recently found out that she's in rehab. I have cut off all contact with her. Never again will I date someone that does drugs, even just recreational. I stay completely away from all that because of how hurtful and dramatizing this relationship has been to me. Drugs terrify me now. There are plenty of stories you can read on here that all have similar themes with similar endings.

Just be glad that you dodged a bullet and remember that you deserve so much better!

Congrats on your 10K, btw!
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Old 07-21-2012, 01:12 AM
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When I was in college I used to smoke weed nearly every day, and I tried lsd and mushrooms a few times. I don't think it did any permanent damage to me. But even when I was young and stupid, I knew that I had it in me to become an addict because of family history. So I never tried other drugs such as cocaine, though they were offered to me many, many times by "recreational users". Most of them did not finish university, and drugs was the direct reason.
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Old 08-01-2012, 02:03 PM
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Hi
I have only just logged in so have only just seen the latest responses. Thanks so much for your replies, Farfaraway and Okiegirl.

Thanks for the book recommendations, Okiegirl. I will check them out. I read Steve Hamilton's book "I want my life back" and that was very helpful in understanding the mentality of an addict.

Thanks also for sharing your story. Sorry to hear about what you've been through. I hope you are doing ok now.
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Old 08-01-2012, 03:12 PM
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I have tried coke in the past, but it just didn't do it for me. In my past I have tried a *lot* of things many more times than once without developing a dependency. Drugs just didn't really do it for me, I used to always say it was because I was such a control freak that I couldn't handle the loss of control that drugs induced. Now I think I was just tightrope walking a fine line between rebelling from my family and actually becoming them. Who knows? The only thing I only did once was morphine, and it was such a draw after just one time I knew I should never ever ever touch anything like that ever again. It had my ticket downhill fast. I feel lucky to this day for recognizing that monster for what it was. Other people in my family apparently key on the same frequency because two close family members are heroine addicts.

What I found is that even if I didn't really care about any particular drug or whether somebody used it or not, I didn't like the "scene" of drug use. Even if I didn't do any drugs, hanging out with people who use and buy or sell drugs brought in an element I didn't particularly care for. Big shocker here: it turns out that the people that like drugs, use them, and buy and sell them are frequently the people who steal things from you; or the friends/dealers they travel with steal from you. And their conversation is staggeringly drug/high-centric. And hold onto your seat for this one: when you don't do drugs, people who do stop hanging around you.

So even though I didn't care if they used on their time, I didn't want them doing it around me because of all the crap that comes along with it. Drug use doesn't happen in a vacuum.

This was all back when I was in school and prior (15 years ago). I'm so out of touch at this point sometimes I have to Google to figure out what people are talking about (spice?). Now I have a front row seat to heroin addiction and it's the most tragic thing I've ever witnessed.

Last edited by interrupted; 08-01-2012 at 03:14 PM. Reason: Fixing typos
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