EvenIfItKillsMe

My mom's beloved baby brother quit drinking after getting dangerously close to serious medical repercussions from his habit and went to inpatient rehab. He only stayed a week and came home last night. She was going nuts because she couldn't get ahold of him and was petrified he was drinking (although today she found out he wasn't and everything was fine) I think maybe she gets some small part of what her drinking did to me now that she's on the other side of the coin. Or at least it sure seemed like it-she even made the comment that she had never understood what it was like. I love my uncle very much and wish him the best, but about time she got a taste of her own medicine Has anyone else encountered a situation like that? Did it have a lasting effect on the alcoholic parent? She's currently dry to the best of my knowledge

DefofLov

I think there is a large group of people who are alcoholics and Al's the friend or loved one of an alcoholic. A lot of people who attend Al-Anon meetings also attend AA. If your mom doesn't actually take her sobriety seriously, she may never fully "get it.". Personally, I would let it all go, work my program and wish your uncle and mother the best. That is all we can do int the end, work our own programs.

Willybluedog

The only person you can control is you!

My therapist teels me anytime the word "should" pops in my head, my goal is to treat it like a big red stop sign. Avoid "should" at all costs.

I spent years thinking my mom SHOULD sober up, my dad SHOULD stop being an enabler, they SHOULD apologize for all the crap they did to me, now I set goals and I achieve them or I don't. I have stopped being involved in their drama and I focus on me because I am the only one I can change.

Best of luck to you!

GingerM

My dad has the amazing ability to make comments like that about other people's situations, without realizing in any way that it also applies to him.

She could have meant "wow, this is really worrying, I never realized how difficult it was going to be for me to go through this with him."

Or, if she's traveled far enough down the recovery path, she very well may mean "wow, I never realized how hard it was on other people."

With my dad? Option A is what he would mean. Even as he sits in prison, he still makes comments like this, without realizing that it applies to him as well. Warped thinking.