Hoaroarafrost

Yesterday I was hospitalized for severe tremors, heart palpitations, disorientation -- after a 2 week binge. I never thought I was an alcoholic, I always figured I just drank. A lot of drinking, but in short bursts. Like people walk, or dance, or stand on their heads.

I drank alone, so it was easy to down can after can of malt liquor. There's not much to do in between, no one to talk to. I don't have friends, just a very patient mother who took me to the ER, screaming and hallucinating and jerking.

I'm just 24, but yesterday was the most agonizing experience of my life, and I'm still trembling, and I am on my 5th day without any sleep.

I hydrate,
hydrate,
hydrate!

Powerades, gatorades, water from my faucet when I'm too unsteady to walk to the gas station for more revitalizers.

It hurts so badly, I never knew pain like this. I can't imagine drinking again, not after remembering this agony, but still, I want to buy another can, if only to make this pain stop for a short while. And only my wits(how do I have any left?) keep me from doing it: it would start all over. And I need it to stop.

I am, and have been since the hospital, in a complete state of panic.

llastchance8

Dear Horaraofrost, Good to know that you went to the Hospital, during emergency.. As you have already gone through serious withdrawals system, we hope that you will continue to be under intensive medical care. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous and life threatening. Please do not try to get through alcohol detox , on your own and at home, without proper medical supervison.

Try to keep away the thought of having a Can. From our experience, the withdrawal symptoms are more profound and more painful, when we again try to stop after relapsing. Your body and mind is going through the re-conditioning in the absence of alcohol and it will be painful., However, with doctors help, you will get through this. Best of luck and keep posting and reading on SR.

Hoaroarafrost

I was discharged, I am not getting medical help. I was told to hydrate endlessly. Should I not be at home alone if I am still feeling panic and tremors and confusion? Right now I feel okay, which is strange! Because I have these moments where I think it's all over, and then it comes back.

Like I don't know what I'm doing to bring it back. I was told to go to my family doctor in 2-3 days, and that was yesterday. I don't have a family doctor, just the ER. And I don't think they want me anymore.

hypochondriac

Sorry you had/are having such an awful experience Hoaroarafrost But glad it brought you here.

I've yet to do a poll of 'normal drinkers' to find out what that is but I reckon if you can drink well, and lots of it, it will cause you problems. I think many people on here (myself included) suspected they may have a problem with alcohol when they were quite young but then just carried on drinking until it caused them even worse problems. You've got a great opportunity to do the legwork now so that you can live the fantastic sober life we all wish we'd had.

Please go to the doctors, they can check you over to make sure you're not actively withdrawing still and maybe help with the anxiety.

It will be worth considering looking into something like AA or SMART for support and some tools to help you stay sober x

sugarbear1

Read the book Alcoholics Anonymous and see if you can relate. Try getting to a meeting. The steps might be able to help you with your anxiety.

xa-speakers.org take a listen!

Glad you are here!

Hoaroarafrost

Thanks, guys. I read what you say. I am not feeling well again, I want to go and lie down. I never knew a place like this existed.

There is so much pain here. It's not just the alcoholics, it's their families. It makes me wonder what hell I put my mother through while in the hospital. All I remember was her head in her hands in a chair across from my bed.

There is so much pain, I've been skimming through threads and posts. Pain and relapse, huh?

I fight easier after making this thread, reading others', I am not alone. And there are definitely others in worse-r states. Hey? Thanks.

sugarbear1

You aren't alone! A 26 year old male I spoke to yesterday is in the same boat here. I'm hoping he went to the ER and they were able to help him out. The guy wasn't even breathing well, I could hear his anxiety over the phone. He was also complaining of lack of sleep. All of this will calm down.

Check us out later! And join us in the chat room!!

Hoaroarafrost

^there's this thread about gratitude, but I don't think I can find it. That is one thing I am grateful to have back: my air. No more short breaths and hyperventilation. It's calming, it's calming, it's calming.

i think i will call the ER and talk to a nurses line and explain my symptoms. see if they want to help.

goodnight all

Dee74

Please do seek medical advice and supervision if you're concerned Hoaroarafrost - it's best to be safe and feel reassured

welcome to SR - good to have you with us

D

Anna

There is also much hope for recovery and living a wonderful life without alcohol. It's not all sadness and pain.

Do talk to the ER people again, if you feel you need it.

ACT10Npack

If you need help then see if there is an outpatient alcohol and drug treatment place. They just do alcohol and drug abuse. It's cheaper and have thing you need to be detox. A lot of ER places are not made to get detox. I learn that first hand. If it's at night then ER is the only place but if it's in the day time then finding those treatment places is a better bet. Personal experience.

Jitterbugg

I've been there Hoaroarafrost. Worst experience of my life. However, it did nothing to curb my drinking. I was back at it a week later. You are an alcoholic and you must get some help!