Think I did ok!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Think I did ok!
I've spent today with my parents, brothers, sister and their kids. Amongst them, 3 active alcoholics and 2 with a history of drug abuse. Huge, huge dysfunctional family dynamics. My role usually is that of peacemaker, soothing and smoothing possible eruptions in behaviour. All the while I usually glug the alcohol to numb my own anxiety, then go home to hit the bottle big time.
Not today. I chose not to follow that usual pattern. I spent the afternoon playing with the kids, making up games and chasing them round the garden. I spoke to my mum without taking on her issues. I didn't drink.
I'm proud of the way I handled it all and haven't spent tonight lost in a bottle dissecting the way everybody behaved. Emotionally I felt detached from it, but enjoyed my time with the little ones. Even more importantly my own kids watched me (and my newly sober H) act in an adult and responsible way and we have just had a grown up discussion about addiction.
This feels good!x
Not today. I chose not to follow that usual pattern. I spent the afternoon playing with the kids, making up games and chasing them round the garden. I spoke to my mum without taking on her issues. I didn't drink.
I'm proud of the way I handled it all and haven't spent tonight lost in a bottle dissecting the way everybody behaved. Emotionally I felt detached from it, but enjoyed my time with the little ones. Even more importantly my own kids watched me (and my newly sober H) act in an adult and responsible way and we have just had a grown up discussion about addiction.
This feels good!x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
This is awesome, Jeni. I think a lot of us have the tendency to allow other people's problems to become our own. At some point we have to figure out that we can't fix people, and trying to do so really isn't good for anybody. The fact that you were able to go spend time with your family and enjoy yourself is a big step! 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 42
That is amazing! Good for you! My family was a huge trigger for me. My dad came to visit me, I was sober the whole time, it wasn 't until he left I had a slip up because I was so upset about his behavior. Family can be really draining, I think that it's awesome you focused your energy on the positive in this situation instead of drowning in the negative. 
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Yep, Jeni, it was around family that my AV was loudest. You came through this and out the other side, so good for you! This will be another experience, a new association, that you can add to your list of sober times. Well done.
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