Mizz

The title says it all. I drank last night. Im not going to go wallow over this, Im not going to feel like a failure. I have come a long way with this and I will continue to do so.
I do have a sense of resolve with alcohol. I have resolved once again, like the million times before that I cant drink. Nothing took place last night that warrants my walking the plank of shame. I went to bed early.....went to bed knowing drinking is not my friend.....
I am going to take myself out on a run and experience the mild hangover for what it is. This run will be hard to get through but it is worth the discomfort. A little healthy torture never killed anyone.
So, in a effort to be honest and to be accountable. I relapsed.

Sapling

It happens...Learn from it...And move forward.

Sapling

Oh and.....Don't drink today.

Zencat

Today is a new day and a new start.

It might be good time to take a look at your recovery program (AA I see) and see what more you can do with it.

And yes, don't drink and dive deep into your recovery program/plan.

You can so do this recovery thing!

2granddaughters

patrisha, are you going to AA meetings regularly? They saved (are saving) my life.

All the best.

Bob R

Mizz

@2granddaughters
I have been slacking in the meeting Dept. I know that daily attendance is crucial at this point in time. I have no excuses for this. I'm uncertain as to what came over me. The whole process was wrong. I didn't enjoy the experience then and I certainly do not enjoy the experience now.
So here I sit. I'm alive. I'm sober. I feel emotional over it ( the emotional hangovers were reasons enough for me to quit) I'm going to a meeting tonight.

Fluttering

Hi patrisha

So glad you made it back!!!

Are you able to recognize the slip before the slip...the one that happens in that space between the ears before the pick up? I hear in meetings if we can see that happening before we pick up we can sometimes prevent the relapse..

I know for me I don't have another come back so instead of "Keep coming back" I prefer to "STAY"

Peace on the journey today

Sapling

Amen to that!

Mizz

I did recognize the slip. I knew that I was putting the packing of my house, all the phone calls, the rearranging my whole life before my recovery. I was sensing that I needed a escape of some sort. There is a lot of juggling right now.
I give up. Why get in the ring with the opponent who always wins? Honestly, I really have no reason for relapsing. NONE......I have learned that this Sucks......I was doing so good. I can still do good. Scratch the first post. I feel like a a***ole.

Sapling

That's not we are...You know what you have to do...That's a good start. Now you just have to put that into action. At least you know you have plenty of people here to cheer you on.

Mizz

Thanks sapling. I thought that I would just keep on walking and not let my emotions run me over. As I now sit here in my bed, fog outside.....the tears are flowing like Niagara falls
I cant help but to feel some let down. I can see that I didn't reach out enough. I can see that the way I sm coping is not working. New game plan for me.

Sapling

Nothing wrong with a good cry now and then....You won't have to pee as much. I'm glad you have a new game plan.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Patrisha

D