EmmyG

AH just called me and he's drunk. Telling me I'm out of line for questioning him. He's slurring his words saying he's not drinking. He said he went to a bar cause he was bored, but he didn't drink. He said he didn't make it to court on his misdemeanor trespassing violation yesterday because he couldn't find his wallet. Which means he probably has a bench warrant now. He's 33 years old. Why do I keep letting him let me down, over and over? It's crazy!! How can I still feel hurt? If I saw anyone else in this situation I would question their sanity for having any love left. I don't know if I love him or just the idea of him when he's being "good." It's all just words. He always talks about how he's a man of his word. It's such a joke. I still had a teeny bit of hope that therapy would work and I wouldn't have to get my own place and do this on my own. It's so crazy-making to have a drunk person tell you you're crazy for thinking they're drunk.

Seren

Yes....yes it is. Maybe turn off your phone(s) for the evening and letting yourself get some peace and rest?

Hugs, HG

dollydo

What is it that you want for you and your children?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again...and...expecting a different result.

You can hope all that you want, but, that will not change the outcome.

suki44883

I agree that turning off your phone for the night is a good idea. Maybe keep it off tomorrow, too. You need some time to think and NOT hear his quacking and lying and drunken blah, blah, blah.

Katiekate

(((((Emmy)))))

Maybe because you are a compassionate loving woman.

The feelings do not get turned off just like that, it takes time, time away from the situation to get some clarity, some peace.

Emmy can you commit to no contact for 2 weeks, some meetings maybe some counseling, maybe spending time with some friends, or your children, quality time.

You are not going to just get over this is a day, it takes time, you have been deeply wounded, give some of that compassion and love to yourself.

Be good to yourself honey. xo

And please keep posting.

LifeRecovery

I agree with Anvil and want to add you have been doing it on your own and if anything like me probably expending a lot of extra energy in taking care of him.

tomsteve

Why do I keep letting him let me down, over and over? It's crazy!!

recovering alcoholic here. IMO, its insane.

the best move my sons mother ever made was to throw me out of her life. i was avery sick man and the longer she, or any other woman after her, kept me in their lives, the closer to being just as sick as me they got.

Sanity2012

It's easy to ask what is wrong with me. That is what we know - what we have learned over time. The hard thing is to remember, what is right with me? We blame ourselves, because that is something we can control (supposedly). If we are such horrible people, why do they keep coming back to us? Why do we let them? I am realizing that the reason is because no one else would put up with this sh-t except those of us in this awful cycle. The love we have for the alcoholic, is for a person we used to know. The person doing this to you is a stranger really. I feel your pain. Reach out to friends, family (and especially this forum which I just found). Hopefully they can show you what is right with you. That is the part that truly counts!!

Bluebonnet1

I love your last sentence on crazy-making. I applaud you for having the strength to move on. I'm going through it right now, and he's quick to blame our problems on everything BUT his drinking. When he's the one that told me he'd had one beer yesterday, yet I could tell he was half drunk. We are not the crazy ones, and there is nothing wrong with US. The alcohol will always make them irrational, and we can't take it personally.

3littlebirds

Turning off your phone is such a great idea! I love being able to do this now, I can turn off my phone whenever I want and it is so nice. Funny how something so small can make such a huge difference, when there is no one there to quack at you.