sherby

As I sit here crying, saying over and over in my head, I should have never went back to boyfriend.. He drinks that will never change, plus he has "bipolar"
Why oh Why Did I choose to believe things would be different... I feel so heart-broken and I feel so so stupid right now.
Now Once again I have to start all over again, I just wished I could kick myself.
I'm having so many emotions,there all over the place.
Feeling hopeless & Sad but most of all Angry at myself.
Thank You all For Being Here

Seren

Oh, Sherby, I'm sorry you are in pain. Sometimes, our hearts just aren't that smart, huh?

I know it doesn't feel that way now, but the pain will pass, and joy will return again.

suki44883

Hon, we're not upset with you. Maybe you needed one more time to convince yourself that it just won't work. If you were able to get out once, you can do it again. Don't beat yourself up over it. Many times, it takes us more than once to get it right.

DesertEyes

Hello there sherby, and pleased to "meet" you

No worries, nobody is upset with you. We don't "shoot our wounded" around here

And as far as making a "mistake", who's doing the judging? I've made my share of "mistakes" until my sponsor told me that the only mistake that counts in al-anon is telling myself I should not make mistakes

So, welcome home. Make yourself comfy, cuz everybody here understands.

Mike

tjp613

Been there, done that a hundred times, Sherby. You're in good company. ((((Hugs sweetie))) Just take care of YOU!!!

dollydo

No one is upset with you, we are just glad that you have reached out to us...once again.
We are here for you.

It's all about progress, not perfection.

Read around, don't forget the stickeys at the top of this and all the Family & Friends Forums, lots of helpful information at your fingertips.

Keep posting, it will help.

Katiekate

Hi Sherby, I'm kind of new around here, I keep "making mistakes too"

but it's okay, I am getting there, you will too.

Big Hug to you Katie :ghug3

sherby

Thank You for showing so much love and support, I have been very hard on myself so I guess I just expect other ones to be hard on me too.
I just have to get my head on straight and not worry about what the heart feels or wants, and just try to pick up all the pieces and start over, I know it won't be easy but surely it will have to be easier than the first time around. And just to think I stayed away from for over a year.
Again thank you all so much for your kindness

Birdgurl

Please be gentle with yourself. This is a process. Oh honey... (((hugs)))

Shadydeal

Wouldn't judge you, I spend too much time beating myself up for doing that very same thing! I think I get more upset with myself than the XABF. I know better but each time it gets easier to detach the big downfall is beating myself up. Being ashamed of myself and feeling like a total DA for thinking there was hope. All I have done is teach him it's ok! Forgive yourself! Hang in there and This Too Shall Pass!

FindingJoy

Oh lord. Wen back for more a couple dozen times. He's a top notch manipulate and I was a top rated Codie. Been no contact for over 2 weeks now or is it 3?
Good news is I lost count :-)

I still think about him everyday sometimes with bad memories, some are good, some are sad....all f these thoughts end witches not worth calling.

I care about him as a fellow human being and I wish him great health and recovery but I don't have to communicate with him to do this...

MsPINKAcres

It's my belief that "we" all go back until "we" know we are done ~

After 16 plus years, when I finally walked away - I knew that I knew that I knew, it was time ~ I had no doubts, no regrets about leaving, I was definitely on the path my HP was leading me ~

When responding to other's post ~ I try never to tell someone you should leave ~ everyone has to make the decison for themselves ~

But everyone does deserve a life of peace, serenity, love, laughter, respect, dignity, safety and happiness ~if you aren't living it

You deserve it ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita

Tuffgirl

Maybe we should start a "how many times did YOU go back?" thread? I know I could count my "tries" on both hands and probably still be short.

Hang in there Sherby. We are all rooting for you!

Stay strong,
~T

DefofLov

Here is a hug. For the millionth time, no one is mad at you. It's totally okay and you will be okay. Put the weapins down and stop beating yourself up.

NYCDoglvr

It would be great if we could wake up one morning and "get it". But for most people it's a process. The point is you keep trying and trying. Don't kick yourself for being human.