Admiral

Today marks week five of no pot, and about two weeks since I got drunk. There's someone in town I haven't seen in well over a year, it would be nice to see them, there's going to be an event tonight and I know for a fact that there will be drugs and alcohol, in fact that will likely be the central focus of things.

It's obvious I shouldn't go, and the only reason I want to is out of guilt alone pretty much. I feel like I'm not being a good friend, that I should go to see them, but I also know it's not a good idea for obvious reasons.

I've never been very good when confronted head on like this, I look like a douche if I just say I don't want to go...

MycoolFitz

You need to do what's best for you. Unwarranted guilt or relapse. Concerts and friedships don't have to be eliminated but you need to feel ready. If you came down with really dad flu you probably wouldn't feel guilty about changing plans. Listen to yourself and do what's best for you.

Michael66

Is it really a tough decision? I think you know what you have to do if you're prioritising your sobriety.

Luling

Maybe you're strong enough to go and resist temptation, but I don't think it's worth the risk. If you're not comfortable telling them why you won't go, maybe make up a plausible excuse?

sugarbear1

Find an AA meeting to attend and let your friend know you have other plans.....and then get to the meeting. Better to look like a douche than to feel like a douche tomorrow....

tomsteve

look like a douche for not goin or look dead if ya pick up a drink and die. or look good in stripes if ya end up behind bars. they are both possible consequences if ya go.

Dee74

I can almost feel your struggle from here.

If you really want to see your friend you could make alternative arrangements and meet for coffee etc, Admiral. If that's not possible you can catch them next time.

I used to feel an almost irresistible pull to social things when I'd quit - I would tell myself it was being be a good friend, or me doing my duty, or me not wanting to look bad, or not wanting to be a hermit...or even me road testing my willpower...

what is really was was me wanting to be around alcohol (or also in my case pot) even when I swore I didn't want to drink/smoke (and consciously I think I believed that) I subconsciously wanted to be around it....

sure enough more often that not, being there, party mode, I joined in...'I'll just nurse this one all night....', 'just a little toke to be sociable'...



yeah right.

Some of us are so skilled at manipulation we can even manipulate ourselves and not know it til after it happens Admiral.

Personally, I'd give this one a miss.

D