3 months of freedom...so much is better!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Yellow Springs, OH
Posts: 109
3 months of freedom...so much is better!
Greetings all,
It's been a little over three months since I threw AH out and lo and behold, life is better than I ever thought it would be. The separation hearing is this week, and he has agreed to divorce on the same terms once the separation is final. So the end is in sight. He is in NH with his family, and we have little to no contact.
I am busy and contented with work, kids and my little house. Put a garden in, replaced the gutters, am spending lots of time in the kitchen, cooking all the yummy foods I had to put aside for so long. Actually reading books for pleasure, listening to music and even seeing friends! There are still moments of crazy anxiety, but I'm learning that they pass quickly if I just acknowledge them without clinging. Used to be I would wake up with a knot in my stomach, knowing my dreams were the only peace I would get. Now I have occasional dreams of being back in that hell and when I wake up it's with an enormous sigh of relief.
So much better. I'm still working on myself, learning and thinking and praying to find and live my inner authenticity. That's something I'll need to keep doing the rest of my life. But I'm getting there, and it's going to be okay.
Thank you all. Couldn't have made it this far without you.
It's been a little over three months since I threw AH out and lo and behold, life is better than I ever thought it would be. The separation hearing is this week, and he has agreed to divorce on the same terms once the separation is final. So the end is in sight. He is in NH with his family, and we have little to no contact.
I am busy and contented with work, kids and my little house. Put a garden in, replaced the gutters, am spending lots of time in the kitchen, cooking all the yummy foods I had to put aside for so long. Actually reading books for pleasure, listening to music and even seeing friends! There are still moments of crazy anxiety, but I'm learning that they pass quickly if I just acknowledge them without clinging. Used to be I would wake up with a knot in my stomach, knowing my dreams were the only peace I would get. Now I have occasional dreams of being back in that hell and when I wake up it's with an enormous sigh of relief.
So much better. I'm still working on myself, learning and thinking and praying to find and live my inner authenticity. That's something I'll need to keep doing the rest of my life. But I'm getting there, and it's going to be okay.
Thank you all. Couldn't have made it this far without you.
Last edited by Marytherboo; 06-05-2012 at 03:35 AM. Reason: Typo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 433
My goodness, lady, replacing gutters! That's fantastic. 
I am almost two months out from leaving my A and I too am feeling much better. Last night while making dinner, I decided to make some stroganauff, too, to have for lunches at work this week. I had all my pots bubbling away on my stove and I thought, Wow! I feel quite happy!
It was hard to believe at first that I would feel actual happiness again. I'm glad you are there, too!
I am almost two months out from leaving my A and I too am feeling much better. Last night while making dinner, I decided to make some stroganauff, too, to have for lunches at work this week. I had all my pots bubbling away on my stove and I thought, Wow! I feel quite happy!
It was hard to believe at first that I would feel actual happiness again. I'm glad you are there, too!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 53
Great news! Glad things are going great for you!!!
I have noticed that I, too, have dreams where I am back in my marriage with my XAH and I wake up all panicky and my heart is racing 90 to nothing and then I come to the realization that I was just dreaming and he's GONE...for good. Thank God! It is a scary few moments though when I think I have to start all over trying to get rid of him...lol!
Anyway, kuddos! Live it up!
I have noticed that I, too, have dreams where I am back in my marriage with my XAH and I wake up all panicky and my heart is racing 90 to nothing and then I come to the realization that I was just dreaming and he's GONE...for good. Thank God! It is a scary few moments though when I think I have to start all over trying to get rid of him...lol!
Anyway, kuddos! Live it up!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
It's good to hear from you, Mary!
Your outcome makes me think of our familiar phrase here:
Let Go or Be Dragged.
Lovely that you planted a garden of new blooms instead of hanging onto that rope.
Your outcome makes me think of our familiar phrase here:
Let Go or Be Dragged.
Lovely that you planted a garden of new blooms instead of hanging onto that rope.
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