mcconnell922

My AH went on a drinking spree on Sunday, stayed at his mother that night, Monday evening i have a text from his sister asking me to take some personal things to him glasses, phone, anti-depressants (god knows why he hasn't taken them for 3 days) etc which i did only for him to totally blank me until i said that when he decided he might want to come home that i might not be there, to which he stood up waved and walked inside so I brought his stuff back home along with his house keys which he had possession of. My dilemma is what to do today try taking his stuff back to him but leave it with his mother/sister ignore their calls etc I don't want to be a codie and I know i have to be strong! HELP

OklaBH

Dont take him anything. Get yourself well. If his sister is concerned she can come get his crap. As an alcoholic I love to be catered to. POOR ME! I did this but help me make you feel better about making me feel better.

tomsteve

anyone who did things for me while i was still drinking that i could have done for myself was enabling me to stay in the insanity of practicing alcoholism and, IMO, was rather insane,too.

MsPINKAcres

How about take a deep breath ~ relax and try to stay calm ~

For me, in dealing with the alcoholics/addicts ~ it seemed like things always had to be in a rush, hurry do this, or that ~ In order to make healthy decisions for me, I had to slow things down. . . Take some time to sort out and decide if I really wanted to do something out of kindness or was I doing something "reacting" out of fear to try to control the chaos of the alcoholic/addict. . .

My suggestion would be to maybe when you get those frantic calls to "do this or that", you might could say ~ "I'll have to see what I have going on, but I'll get back with you to see if I can work that in my schedule"

Or if you are sure you don't want to do something you can always say "NO"
because "NO" is a complete sentence

I also hope that you will keep posting here, reading some recovery literature and maybe attend some al-anon meetings ~ these are great tools in learning how to help ourselves in the way we have been affected by the disease of alcholism/addiction

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Thumper

You went over there once and he was rude and unkind. I wouldn't go again.

This is something he can do himself so he doesn't need you to do it. This is even something his sister can do, and while I don't think she needs to do it for him either, she doesnt need to be asking you.

Take care today.