brokenwife2012

Hi Everyone

Although I am still going through with divorce and all that fun stuff, I would like to read more information to help myself and my kids understand my husband/their dad.

I have seen a few books posted in other threads but I cant seem to remember what the names of them were.

Can someone please help me out?

Thank you! !

lizatola

Exactly what kind of books are you looking for? Books on codependency, books on understanding addiction, books on living with people who have difficult personalities, or books on boundaries?

I've read so many helpful books.
Getting them Sober by Toby Rice Drew is a great starting point. There are a few different volumes and you can find them on Amazon.

But, if you want to understand addiction or alcoholism there are books like:
The Addictive Personality by Craig Nakken

I'm currently reading a book called, "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" by George K Simon. This book isn't just about helping me deal with AH, it's really about dealing with people in general because I seem to always find myself around people who are good manipulators, LOL!

I'm sure others will come on once we know more about what you're looking for.

brokenwife2012

I cant believe I forgot to put that in there. Duh!!

I want to learn about alcoholism. How to understand my husband.

MsPINKAcres

my favorite is
"How Al-Anon works for Families & Friends of Alcoholic" ~ for me it helped explain the disease & how I was also affected by the disease ~

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Tuffgirl

I read a lot of books and I still don't understand a lot of it. The closest I came to any kind of understanding was sitting in the rooms of open AA meetings and listening. Have you tried that yet?

I read "Addict in the Family" - Beverly Conyers
"No more letting go" - Debra Jay
Dealing with the crazymakers in your life" - David Hawkins
"Last call for alcohol" - Susan Martinez
"Marriage on the rocks" - Janet Woititz
"Understanding the Alcoholic's Mind" Arnold Ludwig
"Why don't they just quit?" - Joe Herzanek
The AA Big Book
anything by Melody Beattie (who talks a lot about addiction in her books on codependency.
every single Al-Anon piece of literature

laurie6781

"Under The Influence" by James Robert Milam and Katherine Ketcham (Jun 1, 1984)


"Beyond The Influence" by Katherine Ketcham, William F. Asbury, Mel Schulstad and Arthur P. Ciaramicoli (Apr 4, 2000)

These two will be an excellent start for you to learn about alcoholism, and to start to understand your husband.

You will not be able to fully understand alcoholism because your mind has not been destroyed by alcohol. It takes years into recovery to build new pathways in the brain to replace the ones that were destroyed by alcohol. I know, I have the brain scans of my own brain over the last 31 years,to prove it.

Those two books, even though the first one is over 30 years old, will give you a pretty fair idea of what it is like to be a practicing alcoholic. The 'distorted' reality, the distorted thinking, the distorted way of 'dealing' with life's stresses.

Hope that helps a bit.

Love and hugs,

brokenwife2012

Thank you. I am going to start with Under the Influence.

brokenwife2012

Him and I are divorcing but I still need to learn about his problem/disease for my kids.

SuzyMarie

Laurie, in your opinion, would "Under the Influence" be applicable to drug addiction as well?

theuncertainty

Hi, if your kids are younger, I recommend The Brown Bottle by Penny Jones. DS (now 7) and I still read it occasionally.

SoaringSpirits

Brokenwife, reading "Under the Influence" was by far the most useful book for me. I highly recommend it. My kids are 11, 14 and 17 and I've read a few sections with/to them and we have used it as a basis for discussion.

Also, Al Anon has free pamphlets at the meetings that are really useful and they are written simply enough that kids can read and understand them. My kids are in Alateen, and one they all liked is called "Dear Mom and Dad." Another good one is called "How can I help my children?"

Alateen has been truly helpful for my kids. My 11 year old also goes.

Another good book (for you) is called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It helped me get my head screwed on straight and stop being tangled up with my AH's problems.