theysayimcrazy

i feel like punching a hole in my wall, or just screaming at the top of my lungs, or just crying. i have cravings out of nowhere. and then of course i just HAD to torture myself by reading the comments people left under my mugshot i found online. one said "this girl has had so many problems in her life. she still can't seem to get it together. she is becoming a total LOSER!!!" i just want to give up. this is all ill ever be. but at the same time the best revenge is to just become a healthy, successful girl. and then my ex boyfriend just texted me, we met in the program awhile ago, used together, then found out he was cheating on me. i want to text him back just for some comfort.. but if i dont stop this pattern of trying to fill this void within me, i'll never change. ugh cant wait to go to a meeting tonight. i wish i could just go live on the west side again and use until no end. these legal problems are whats holding me back. i'd rather try to stay sober than go back to jail. idk what to do anymore

scrambled2012

hang in there kiddo. this is going to pass; make the determination that it will make you a stronger, wiser, more mature and more humble individual. This event can make you far better off then you would have been without it. Be strong; and keep posting.

((((hugs))))

Dee74

Early recovery is really hard from everyone TSIC, but I'm sure you know you're doing this for a reason - deep down you know this is the way forward for you

It gets easier, believe me

I wouldn't put too much store in what people say online either (outside of wonderful communities like SR of course)...trolling is the downside of the Internet.

D

Sapling

Don't use...Don't text...Go to the meeting.

tomsteve

okay, now...wheres yer higher power in all this??? yer not a loser. yer just sick, like many of us were. getting clean and sober is a fight, one i was willing to put on the gloves for( the other option i gave myself was suicide). staying clean and sober is simple.
awesome to see ya WANTING to go to a meeting. thats progress right there!

tzivia

Sorry about all you're going through. Definitely think you're in the right place. Maybe you can turn those mean comments about you around. Use it as a motivator. Get better, and prove that you can do it. For you! Stay sober and I wish you all the best!

HelloWorld82

The best revenge is living well.... Give them something to talk about other than your mistakes. You are worth being sober! Stay strong and be kind to yourself! AND GO TO THE MEETING!

CraigA

Sobriety is tough but using is tougher because of the h__l we have to go through! Be accountable for your actions only, that will be a good start obviously stay away from where ever you were on don't let it get you down. The jail thing do what needs to be done learn from it and forgive yourself! That voice is the addictive voice and it doesn't want you to be healthy in any way shape or form as long as you believe it it has won!

Keep calling sober (sponsor, or other FEMALES) people for support, keep posting stay away from your ex neither can be supportive to each other, it may seem hard now but it will pass just like everything passes! One day at a time we get through this together, God Bless you and keep coming back!!!

debsam

Don't use...Don't text...Go to the meeting.
__________________
all BB quotes 1st. Edition

And don't let someone's comments define you....that's NOT who you are.

Keep moving forward

Big hugs