helovesbooze

He has been gone for 24 hrs and I can't eat or sleep. I believed he would get better but after 5 yrs of denial, 2 car crashes, multiple infidelities, 6 months of Aa and Alanon and 3 weeks of meetings followed immediately by drunken stoopers in which he yet again took my car, I finally got the courage to ask him to leave. So why do I feel so horrible? I know its the right thing for my personal situation, yet I'm miserable. Any helpful tips on getting through the nights?

sweetteewalls

Getting through the night is hardest for me too. Just try to keep busy...My AH just left 3 weeks ago and I have been journaling. Keep posting on here, this site keeps me sane. Focus on you...it will be rough so be kind to yourself.

HelloWorld82

Take care of yourself!:ghug3

Read on here! There are so many amazing people here who are inspiring!

Seren

Hello helovesbooze, Welcome!

I'm sorry you are hurting...it's so sad to watch someone we care about be so self-destructive.

It may not feel like it now, but the pain will pass. Sometimes, when the crisis is over, we forget about how horrible it was and just miss the good times. Just keep letting it all out...all the hurt, all the pain, all the anger and grief--we are open all the time It will get better!

helovesbooze

The last straw was him coming home last night 3 hrs after a meeting he said he attended, but he could not keep his balance. I have an adopted son who was born drug addicted and fear his behavior would end up effecting my 8 yr old son's progress. I feel I have no choice. This disease is is heart wrenching.

AlreadyAlone

Welcome to SR!

It has been a real life line for me, especially when my ABF has vanished for the evening, and I'm at home trying to sleep, but just stewing... I read the posts, and sometimes reply like now, but there is comfort in seeing that we are not alone in this- as crazy as it feels! Read, post, learn - knowledge is power. I'm even learning to find ways to laugh about it- I hope you can get to that place too. Hugs!

codat

It sounds like you are on the right track. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. Get some rest and pamper yourself. We get so wrapped up in them that we forget about our needs sometimes. You deserve the it!

EmmyG

I've been living apart from my husband for a month now, and I read SR throughout the day. It keeps me from calling him, and from going home. You're not alone. I feel alone at times because no one I know has been through this, so SR really helps.

FindingJoy

Often when we take proper action it feels uncomfortable since we aren't use to taking care of ourselves....it feels weird, strange, anxiety provoking, and uncomfortable.

So this is the good kind of uncomfortable.

webber1

Im 2 weeks in from leaving my AH partner..

like you five years. Its so natural what your feeling, I think it mirrors the fact that your life has been entwined with his and the madnees that comes from AH.

I miss the fantasy of what I thought we had or could of had. You feel so let down , you want to scream why as really our lives are centered around theres.

Im therapist told me that no healthy person would put up with a Ah( even mine sober was hardwork) . It made me realise how far I had fallen. I turned the anger the sadness of this to make sure I got what I deserve- A Healthy functional relationship.

The pain will be intense but really Id rathere feel the lows now than a lifetime of pain.

Take Care

NYCDoglvr

It was like that for me for a while, but I promise, it gets better. It helps to surround yourself with positive people, step up Al-anon meetings for the support. Treat yourself like you've survived a car wreck. But the main thing is it will get much, much better.