Add one Early Sobriety Hint, to help new members...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Add one Early Sobriety Hint, to help new members...
To keep it simpler for those brand new to sobriety, please add a sobriety hint that helped you in the beginning...
(of course there are many, but I will start with one)
The first couple weeks, I told myself this:
"I already know what my life WITH drinking looks like...
So I am going to find out what my life WITHOUT drinking looks like.
And to really find that out, I have to abstain completely. No exceptions."
Of course pretty soon I didn't need to use that little trick, but the first days I tried to look at it as a curious social experiment. I was going through something else hard at the time, and I thought: doing something as terribly hard as not drinking will make me stronger as a person. And it did. Stronger everyday...
(of course there are many, but I will start with one)
The first couple weeks, I told myself this:
"I already know what my life WITH drinking looks like...
So I am going to find out what my life WITHOUT drinking looks like.
And to really find that out, I have to abstain completely. No exceptions."
Of course pretty soon I didn't need to use that little trick, but the first days I tried to look at it as a curious social experiment. I was going through something else hard at the time, and I thought: doing something as terribly hard as not drinking will make me stronger as a person. And it did. Stronger everyday...
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
If your goal is to quit drinking--DON'T DRINK!
That means no waffling on your promise to quit, no modifications to your plan, no justifications to veer away from your goal, no rationalizations that "just one" will be okay. No deciding that you maybe aren't alcoholic and can now moderate your drinking.
That's the addiction doing its dirty work.
That means no waffling on your promise to quit, no modifications to your plan, no justifications to veer away from your goal, no rationalizations that "just one" will be okay. No deciding that you maybe aren't alcoholic and can now moderate your drinking.
That's the addiction doing its dirty work.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I found this on a site...It deals with Thanksgiving...But you could use it for any holiday or family get together...Or anything. Some good tips.
Holidays can be difficult for sober people, or people struggling to get or stay sober.
Now is a good time to prepare.
We thought we'd share some tips. You can not only survive a holiday, you can enjoy it. All you need to do is plan ahead.
Think ahead. Is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics. Keep your expectations realistic: if it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for Thanksgiving. Don't set yourself up to fail. You can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.
Thanksgiving is usually about family. If there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.
Have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are NOT alone.
Bring your own beverages. This is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.
You don't have to over explain. If someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.
Have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
Plan your exit in advance. If everyone is going to settle in to watch football and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
Remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.
Think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "I wish I drank last night."
Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
Remind yourself that Thanksgiving is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.
Go to bed. If the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest.Tomorrow is a new day.
Believe in yourself. Getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
Forgive yourself for wanting to drink. Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
Be grateful. Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks.. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.
Addiction thrives in the dark, and together we bring the light.
You are not alone.
Source Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Holidays can be difficult for sober people, or people struggling to get or stay sober.
Now is a good time to prepare.
We thought we'd share some tips. You can not only survive a holiday, you can enjoy it. All you need to do is plan ahead.
Think ahead. Is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics. Keep your expectations realistic: if it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for Thanksgiving. Don't set yourself up to fail. You can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.
Thanksgiving is usually about family. If there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.
Have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are NOT alone.
Bring your own beverages. This is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.
You don't have to over explain. If someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.
Have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
Plan your exit in advance. If everyone is going to settle in to watch football and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
Remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.
Think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "I wish I drank last night."
Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
Remind yourself that Thanksgiving is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.
Go to bed. If the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest.Tomorrow is a new day.
Believe in yourself. Getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
Forgive yourself for wanting to drink. Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
Be grateful. Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks.. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.
Addiction thrives in the dark, and together we bring the light.
You are not alone.
Source Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Last edited by Dee74; 06-02-2012 at 05:11 PM. Reason: added source link
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 438
If you are going to AA for recovery, try to go to at least 1 meeting every day if you are able you. Go early a few minutes & help set up chairs...or stay after a few minutes & help put things away or just to socialize with anyone else that is there, before or after.
Don't drink today, no matter what.
Don't drink today, no matter what.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Find constructive, non-drinking ways to occupy your time. Find a hobby, volunteer your time, read a lot, get into physical activity .... anything that gets you out of your head and into life. Diversions are incredibly useful during those first early weeks. "Down time", i.e. boredom, were killers for me. Keep a journal, do a gratitude list, get out of yourself for a few hours a day. Eat. Doesn't matter if it's healthy or not, EAT. Stay hydrated. Take vitamins. Come to SR. Read recovery books. Make a list of the things you did while drunk that damaged you and others. Then make a list of the crummy things you felt physically and mentally while you were drinking. Write down the details of your last drunk and post them on your fridge. Make sure you eat when you're hungry, get lots of fluids, and sleep when you can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Even though it can be hard, tell at least one person ( that you've stopped drinking ) or more, in each area of your life (work, home, friends) someone who you think can be trusted, and whose opinion matters to you.
Ask them for their support when needed and report your progress.
It helps you to stay honest, until you arrive at a spot where you don't want to let YOURSELF down.
Also quit for yourself, ...not others, so that you don't rebel and drink just out of defiance and opposition.
Be compassionate with yourself. Alcohol has temporarily altered our brain, and this is HARD. ...BUT do not use this as an excuse to not quit.
Whoever you are, whatever your circumstances, there are people who have less to work with and more difficult circumstances to overcome who STILL quit. Make up your mind that there will never be a good enough reason to give up on yourself.
Ask them for their support when needed and report your progress.
It helps you to stay honest, until you arrive at a spot where you don't want to let YOURSELF down.
Also quit for yourself, ...not others, so that you don't rebel and drink just out of defiance and opposition.
Be compassionate with yourself. Alcohol has temporarily altered our brain, and this is HARD. ...BUT do not use this as an excuse to not quit.
Whoever you are, whatever your circumstances, there are people who have less to work with and more difficult circumstances to overcome who STILL quit. Make up your mind that there will never be a good enough reason to give up on yourself.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Know that it gets easier. The second week is generally far better than the first. Know that there are generally huge numbers of emotional ups and downs in the first year, but that the second year brings far more emotional stability.
Though time helps enormously, as with most things …….. garbage in garbage out.
Though time helps enormously, as with most things …….. garbage in garbage out.
Guest
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 115
Actually realizing that I need my liver and that I would have had a much shorter life if I kept drinking.
The challenge of doing this for myself was also very important to me - to test my strength... even if it was only 10 minutes - 20 minutes - 1 hour - 1 day of my time.
There's a lot more -- many things happen. You find yourself wanting to focus on ANYTHING other than even thinking about Alcohol to get it out of your mind. Like put that thought in a box and dare not open it.
The challenge of doing this for myself was also very important to me - to test my strength... even if it was only 10 minutes - 20 minutes - 1 hour - 1 day of my time.
There's a lot more -- many things happen. You find yourself wanting to focus on ANYTHING other than even thinking about Alcohol to get it out of your mind. Like put that thought in a box and dare not open it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Read the Big Book of AA (can be found on line). No doubt you will relate and find yourself in many of the stories. It was a great start for me in understanding what I was truly dealing with.
Read books by others who have struggled with addiction and went on to live a life we all deserve.
Stay close to your friends here at SR....you'll find out quickly that the friends here want nothing but the absolute best for you and will be here for you on your journey through the ups & downs.
Read books by others who have struggled with addiction and went on to live a life we all deserve.
Stay close to your friends here at SR....you'll find out quickly that the friends here want nothing but the absolute best for you and will be here for you on your journey through the ups & downs.
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