My Mum, can you start praying again?!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: london
Posts: 2
My Mum, can you start praying again?!
Can you help?
My Mum is an alcoholic and in very bad denal
We are trying tough love as nice love hasn't worked, she also has breat cancer.
Should we be cooking her dinner as all she does all day long is drinks, what I mean is should we feed her or leave her to it?
My Mum is an alcoholic and in very bad denal
We are trying tough love as nice love hasn't worked, she also has breat cancer.
Should we be cooking her dinner as all she does all day long is drinks, what I mean is should we feed her or leave her to it?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: london
Posts: 2
My Mum
Hello,
She has an appointment to see the oncologist on 8th Jan.
She had a mastectomy last month but should be okay although they have yet to decide if she will need radiotherapy.
She has been being drinking for years 20 years+
My dad dies on Christmas day 1999 and think have been getting worst since then really. Before she could go for years with out a drink but lately it is only weeks.
She is supposed to be on medication but is not taking it as she is spending all her time drinking.
I have a sister who is very helpful but we really have tried eveything possabile and our at our wits end now.
She has an appointment to see the oncologist on 8th Jan.
She had a mastectomy last month but should be okay although they have yet to decide if she will need radiotherapy.
She has been being drinking for years 20 years+
My dad dies on Christmas day 1999 and think have been getting worst since then really. Before she could go for years with out a drink but lately it is only weeks.
She is supposed to be on medication but is not taking it as she is spending all her time drinking.
I have a sister who is very helpful but we really have tried eveything possabile and our at our wits end now.
Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: It's raining again!
Posts: 2,494
I'm so sorry to hear this! I lost my Mum (mom) 6 months ago to breast cancer. She loved taking her medication 
Being that she was pretty much addicted her whole life to pills and drinking. A while back though I had talked her into going to a group for other woman with breast cancer. There is also on-line groups as well. I know my mother was scard to die and scard to have the cancer. Maybe you could go with her to her Onicologist and ask questions about groups and supports if your mom is willing to go. I think the drinking is causing the depression and the depression is causing her to drink. I use to get sooooo mad at my mother when she would not take care of herself,but it was her cancer and her life and I really needed to take care of me too because it dragged me down emotionally. You'll enable your mother if you go to the store and buy the drink for her or if you pour it down her throat. Cooking dinner is a love thing. Don't let your anger stop you from loving your mom. It's hard I know. Been there and done that!
Being that she was pretty much addicted her whole life to pills and drinking. A while back though I had talked her into going to a group for other woman with breast cancer. There is also on-line groups as well. I know my mother was scard to die and scard to have the cancer. Maybe you could go with her to her Onicologist and ask questions about groups and supports if your mom is willing to go. I think the drinking is causing the depression and the depression is causing her to drink. I use to get sooooo mad at my mother when she would not take care of herself,but it was her cancer and her life and I really needed to take care of me too because it dragged me down emotionally. You'll enable your mother if you go to the store and buy the drink for her or if you pour it down her throat. Cooking dinner is a love thing. Don't let your anger stop you from loving your mom. It's hard I know. Been there and done that!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hi Glitterknickers
And welcome to the forum. I don't think you should feel guilty about cooking dinner for your Mom. That's feeding her, not enabling her. I think her doctors really need to know how bad the drinking problem is. They may be able to help find a treatment plan for her.
You said "we" so I assume there are other family members involved. Maybe you all could attend Alanon meetings. This is obviously having an impact on the whole family.
Hang in there. I will say a prayer for your Mom and for your family.
Peace,
Gabe
You said "we" so I assume there are other family members involved. Maybe you all could attend Alanon meetings. This is obviously having an impact on the whole family.
Hang in there. I will say a prayer for your Mom and for your family.
Peace,
Gabe
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