john44

After a miserable detox. I almost died of alcohol poisoning. Feeling better but still a little shaky. It's back to AA on my knees tomorrow. I really hate this addiction. It has destroyed my life.

OklaBH

make it your last trip. I was in ICU in April. I drank way to much. I was coughing up blood, couldnt walk or talk. I mean PHYSICALLY couldnt walk or talk. My alcohol consumption bottomed out my potassium levels and i was a very sick girl. After a few days I convinced myself i had a vitamin deficiency...that it wasnt alcohol. LIES LIES LIES

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that John - but I'm glad you're back

D

theysayimcrazy

but you're still alive. you have another chance to make things right. take care <3

john44

I've probably lost my best friend of 20 years over this one. Everyone is fed up with me. Didn't have any visitors. Hospital staff were kinda cold. People don't like alcoholiccs and I don't blame them.

But do you believe I'm craving a drink right now? How sick is that?

john44

I have done so much damage to my life, I don't have a clue how to start making things right.

theysayimcrazy

what do we do when s*** hits the fan? we drink and/or use.
this is no different. you've lost a friend because of it. that's something that i assume bothers you. and your solution usually would be to drink over it.
so it's not sick that you're craving.
i went to jail, got thrown out of my house a few times, ruined work & college opportunities. and after each incident, that's when i was craving the most.
and the fact that you've detoxed, your body feels better than how it was feeling prior to detox, so it's saying "come on, john, have a drink!"
but anyways, a drinking thought is just a thought.
and there's nothing wrong with that. just don't let it turn into an action.

and the first thing you can do to make things right, is to stay sober just for today. i know you probably dont wanna hear that but its true.

instant

Start with what is in front of you. I am glad you are here. The alternative to being on your knees is not an attractive option.

Dee74

Imagine the tides gone out John - leaving behind a mountain of debris...

You make things right by picking up a piece at a time - that's what I did - it was a long process, but I made it...

you can too

D

jstar

Just try one hour at a time to not drink & don't drink between meetings and if you have to or can, try a few meetings a day if you are able to. I had to do that sometimes. Keep coming on here & posting. Glad you are here

Michael66

Hi John,

I'm sure you realize the place to start is with sobriety. Be patient and I'm sure the rest will steadily sort itself out.

God bless. We're all rooting for you.

lydiebreeze

J44...
you HAVEN'T ruined your life - YET.
Stay sober - concentrate on that - try really hard to not think of all you've lost - try to think of what you'll gain by being your authentic self.

Like many people in recovery I too have screwed up a lot of things in my life.

I can only hope that either
A. What I've damaged can be repaired
B. If what I've damaged CAN'T be repaired - then for sure something else wonderful will take it's place

But I know for sure that
C. - If I keep on drinking NOTHING good will come of it

P.S. - I too went to hospital to detox - you're right - the staff aint so nice - it must be hard for them to see addicts and alcoholics coming in in the state we're in. They kicked me out at 4:30 in the morning and I had no ride! Oh well. We're both still here. HANG IN THERE!

Sapling

Glad you are still alive....If you are going back to AA tomorrow on your knees...I'd suggest you do the things you didn't do last time you were there....Follow the path....Rarely have we seen....All that stuff. Don't drink today.

Zebra1275

Imagine the tides gone out John - leaving behind a mountain of debris...

You make things right by picking up a piece at a time - that's what I did - it was a long process, but I made it...


That's a great analogy Dee.

Anna

John, try to not get overwhelmed about what messes in your life you have to clean up. I really struggled with that too, and very simply, do what you can do each day and things will improve.

crewisms

John, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm may only be 8 days sober, but after decades of drinking and living a selfish, destructive life, I've focused my selfishness towards remaining sober. To my surprise, tiny little rays of hope, giving and repair are emerging from the haze. I have embraced the fact that I'm dealing with a marathon, rather than a sprint.

Detox in itself is a huge accomplishment. Hang in there!

Elisabeth888

I am sorry. I think we all understand how you are feeling.

Don't tackle the world today. Go to a meeting, share and don't take a drink.

sissy07

John44,

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Remember how you feel right now and start again. I have been there, and it is not easy, but it is a lot easier than continuing the drinking. Take care of yourself.

john44

[QUOTE=lydiebreeze;3426322]J44...
you HAVEN'T ruined your life - YET.
Stay sober - concentrate on that - try really hard to not think of all you've lost - try to think of what you'll gain by being your authentic self.

Like many people in recovery I too have screwed up a lot of things in my life.

I can only hope that either
A. What I've damaged can be repaired
B. If what I've damaged CAN'T be repaired - then for sure something else wonderful will take it's place

But I know for sure that
C. - If I keep on drinking NOTHING good will come of it

P.S. - I too went to hospital to detox - you're right - the staff aint so nice - it must be hard for them to see addicts and alcoholics coming in in the state we're in. They kicked me out at 4:30 in the morning and I had no ride! Oh well. We're both still here. HANG IN THERE![/

QUOTE]

I thought that was going to happen to me. I was basically nakek, with no money ,nobody to help and the er staff said its not tjeir problem. Thank God i eas admitted. A buddy brought some clothes and money and i got a ride after detox was over.ill add all this to my gratitude list.

Aarontg88

I've never been addicted to alcohol just oxycodone but I hear the pains are just as worst and I know how u feel With the cravings but you gotta stay strong everything gets better in time an time is forever.