lydiebreeze

Anyone out there have advice on stopping these conversations in my head? Meaning - if I'm upset with someone (bf) I have a fake conversation in my head and the poor guy is judged (or kicked out of my life) before he has a chance to respond. I used to use alcohol to silence this - it's driving me NUTS!!!

roseblossom

When you feel yourself starting to have the conversation turn the channel. By this I mean, make your mind play a song or think of something that always make you laugh, watch your favorite show etc.. Then resolve the issue with the person before the conversation starts in your head again. I used to have this problem in my younger days. I think it stems from anxiety and not wanting to confront the person about the issue so we hash it out in our own minds. It's better to just get it off your chest in real life and bypass the anxiety.

MalkavianEmily

Dunno about it happening when I've been upset with somebody, but I know that when something's been weighing on my mind. Like before I met my fiance, the thought of telling someone that I... really liked them and wanted to take it further, that would have me running through a dozen different scenarios in my head for days before hand. Good ones, bad ones. Sometimes I thought that it would stop them happening (if they were bad) or hoped that I'd somehow cause them (if they were good).

OklaBH

My mind wonders too. Im going to keep some saying with me and a small recovery book. Its either replays of conversations that didnt go my way or fake arguments in my head. I will let you know if it works

lydiebreeze

roseblossom - you're right - the convo is always a confrontation that needs to happen - but I'm terrified of conflict - I would always use booze to say what I really(?) felt and then I'd be able to take it back later if I changed my mind and/or the outcome was too scary. I have to work on being more honest with myself and others - I'm better than I used to be but it's a struggle, I'm a "people-pleaser"
The problem with bf is that he claims the only problem in our relationship is my drinking - that is SO not true. However, first things first - I will take care of my drinking problem and the rest will fall into place

stillsleeping

Hey Lydie

This used to screw really badly BEFORE I quit! My husband cured it by getting me to write it down. It works every time for me - I can just put it to one side and leave it alone. Try it and let me know how you get on...

xxx

lydiebreeze

stillsleeping - I'm only on day 7 - perhaps I'll gain more perspective as time goes on - I'm sure I will - a drinking mind is not terribly rational - and I've still got a drinking mind. I WILL try the journaling or letter you'll never send route - who knows - maybe I'll end up writing a fabulous play! Since conflict is key in any good play or movie

LoftyIdeals

Hi Lydie...

I think we all have self talk, especially borne of anxiety. It will dissipate as you clean out your anxiety closet in sobriety. I think a little self talk is healthy. Just dont believe everything you say to yourself.

stugotz

Oh Hell yeah! I can totally play out a situation in my head before it happens, and most of the time it never does. One thing that is 100 percent is that it never, ever, neverever, goes even remotely like the scenario my head. Phew, I thought I was crazy. Just sayin.....

2granddaughters

I attended AA meetings, lots of meetings in the beginning.

At first I hated the meetings but they soon turned out to be the best hour of my day.

All the best.

Bob R

tomsteve

i call my sponsor or others in recovery and pray. my sponsor taught me it aint good to have a meeting with an idiot( and i had to suffer a lot before i admitted he was right), so better pick up the phone.

stillsleeping

How cool is your attitude?? Dude, you rock - and massive congratulations on 7 days

Still
xxx

Dee74

I think most of us have had to deal with negative 'head talk', daydreams fantasies etc.

20 years of boozing and drugging left me pretty twisted.

I tried to counter it as much as possible with positive thought and positive action.

The more I stayed sober, the more I counted my blessings, & the more I did positive things with my life - volunteering, exercise, meditation and stuff like that - the less it was possible for me to believe some of the things my head was saying about me...and the less likely I was to accept what my head was saying about other people too

I found pretty soon my perspective on myself and the world was a lot healthier - I'm sure you will too

D

Elisabeth888

Thank you for posting this! I am doing this right now. My teacher has not responded to an email I sent two days ago and I am thinking about why and hoe I want to send her a sarcastic email.

tomsteve

if sending a sarcatic email is something you would have did when drinking, then i highly suggest not doin it. it would be one step towards change

Elisabeth888

That is totally what I would of done. Stupid I know. I am definitely NOT going to do that.