drowninginfl

Hi again. I thought that I could control my binge drinking. On day 4 of a 3 day weekend I called a friend for help. They took me in, fed and watered me, and I'm going to my first AA meeting this morning with him. I'm scared. Not of the meeting, but of life without alcohol. I feel like my shield is down. I have work right afterwards. Here goes everything.

Sapling

Don't be scared of a life without alcohol...It's wonderful...You'll wonder why you put yourself through what you did for so long....Nothing to be scared of...Embrace it!!

Zee

Its OK to be scared, but look at it this way... What is a couple of hours of being high compared to the next 22 hours feeling like $hit. From every high comes a low. Its not just a physical low, but an emotional one too. This evens out... you find your 'new normal' You will be pleasantly suprised how good it is... Im 9 months in, its been a rollercoaster, but seriously worth it! Good luck to you x

instant

The feelings are part of the addiction. Life without alcohol is easy once you can break free.

I wondered how I would ever last - life would be so dull and painful etc- it's all BS, it wears off

2granddaughters

That's our insanity ... our disease.

You will feel right at home in AA. You are on the right track.

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

It's like breaking up with a girl friend or boy friend. Scared, then angry, then we mourn the loss. Then we move on.

It is a loss. We created bad habits over a period of time. It will take some time to create new habits which can be positive and productive and sober habits.

I feel your pain.

We also don't know how to process true emotions, we often stuffed them inside or numbed them while drinking, even if we acted out on some emotions while drinking (I got angry, I cried, I get overly happy). Today, we learn to feel an emotion and then let it go (that is new, too!). It's a process. The journey to sobriety is a personal one.

I wish you continued sobriety.

Peace, love & hugs,

jobei

Sounds like a solid plan to me! Try to take it easy and not beat yourself up... you can do this!

aeo1313

It is scary...but you don't have to do it alone.

AA is a great way to go!

drowninginfl

Went to my first AA meeting with my friend. It was an early meeting - 7AM. I was still a little drunk from the night before. Raw with emotion, overwhelmed, it was all I could do to hold it together. Others shared their stories, their first meeting. They encouraged me, because they understood. They had been there. They all wrote their numbers in a copy of The Big Book and gave it to me at the end. They were all genuinely rooting for my success. One of the men stopped me in the parking lot afterwards and we swapped stories. He asked if I was done drinking yet. I said that I wasn't sure, and he pulled out the local schedule and asked when I was done work. I said 5. He said there's a meeting at 6, and asked if I could last the hour. He said he'd look for me there.

I went to that meeting, as did he. I was touched that this stranger went out of his way to see if I could make a meeting, and to go. My second meeting of the day was like my first, some harder stories to look at and hear. Jail time, friends dead from heart failure during grand mal seizures. Lost jobs, families, lost hope. But every one of them had hope in their hearts tonight and promised me that I could too.

I'm going through the expected withdrawl. sweats, jitteriness, sleeplessness. And I'll be honest at this moment I don't yet feel that hope. More of a hope that it's there but I'll be back tomorrow morning at 7AM, one day sober. I've tried it my way for too long. I'm tried it alone, and failed over and over. My plan was to simply stop drinking. Now my plan has an outline, and it's a plan that's been walked thousands and thousands of times before.

Sapling

Try some different meetings....See if you can find one where they are talking about recovery...The solution...The steps. If all you are hearing is war stories...That didn't cut it for me ....I have my own...I wanted to hear about getting better....That gave me hope. Read the book....Study it. I read it like a book that was going to save my life...And it did. If you follow that plan that those thousands and thousands...(More like millions.) before you did....You'll never have to drink again and you'll live a life you'd never thought was possible. I wish you the best...Keep moving forward.

Chrisy

Welcome.

I am so happy that you decided to join us on this path. God be with you.

Dee74

welcome back drowninginfl

I think it's natural to be afraid - drinking was a major part of my life and my identity for a long time.

But look around - there's so many people here living full happy lives without alcohol...none of us would stay sober if we felt we lost out of the deal.

It's difficult at the start sure - but it gets better. Much better.

Stick with it

D