story74

Venting as per usuaL.

I have been wAiting for child support this month. And waiting. And waiting. Finally checked the DOR site and its past due. I sat there staring at it. I couldn't believe it. The first month and he hasn't paid. Really? He drives for a living. You would think....ugh. but why should I be surprised. It makes me angry. Very aNgry. He owes me 10k in debt, left me, a stay at home mother, with NOTHING. Just left. I have creditors calling. Oh, but he wants to see his son. Occassionaly...when he doesn't cancel or is a no call no show. Doesn't call HIS son EVER. Doesn't have a clue what's going on in our life. Doesznt even know where I work. But he wantzs to see his son. This, besides the other addict behavior, is just the nail in the coffin that Yes, he is an addict. He wants everyone to think he is sober. I don't and didn't for a minute. Well, ok, I questioned myseetlf a lot in the beginning. And his family that I have known for 16 years not only let him back into there life with no questions asked, BUT actually told me, the woman in the trenches "I don't think he is an addict. He seems fine to me" like I'm the crazy b@@@@ that deserved to be left. So now, I have to raise my son on my own emotionally. Which I can do. But now, I have to raise my son alone financially....which I can do too. But boy does it **** me off at times. This addict needs to go away. Hopefully he will loose his license, not be able to work and go to jail. I'm so sick of him constantly just causing nothing but pain.

Like I saId, venting. Just found all this out today. I say this all the time, but I am really getting thru it. I'm a strong woman.

Heartbroken0608

You might want to check with the courts and see if they can have child support automatically deducted from his check. That way as long as he's working at least you'll get something.

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. You sound like a strong woman and a great mom. You will get through this, with his help or without!! But don't let him off the hook. Child support laws are pretty strict nowadays - hold him accountable!

Keeping you in my thoughts.

cangel2

So sorry you are going through this!! Hang in there.

My recommendation is that you take action on the past due payment as soon as you can. I believe that there is an option to attach wages once a payment is a certain number of days past due. Take advantage of that to send a message that this is not acceptable.

I know you are venting....but hope he does keep his job so that you have the child support.

Also sounds to me that if he is more or less an "absent parent" that is a good thing for your son at the moment. Protects him from the craziness!

Even though you are strong and know you will be fine......don't forget to fall back on your support people!!!

story74

What confuses me is that I am a bit confused about the sjupport, and its really hard to talk to anyone from the DOR...I usually get a busy signal. He was sent a income deduction order form, which seems to mean that they were going to set it up to come out of his paycheck. Well, her is the thing he is a cab driver...long story short..his drug buddies seemed to have bought him 2 cars to drive and manage. I don't know anything much about it due to "gaslighting" (lol) but its shadeeeee. so, because of this I wonder if he has even filed the deduction order form....confusing. but, I will figure it out. To be honest, I would LOVE to see him in jail and loose everything. Maybe he would finally hit bottom? Maybe his family would finally accept he is an addict and be more supportive of me and my soln. My xah has no clue what destruction he has left behind. I just can't imagine he is THAT messed up on drugs that he can't even follow thru with a court order. But, when he was sober I couldn't even count on him to mail a bill. So, I shouldn't be surprised. Honestly, I just want him out of my life. And yes, I am very very lucky that I have set boundries and have protected me son from his inconsistent behavior. My son NEVER asks about him. He has accepted he gets to play at the park with him randomly. And for now, that works.

Just another story for my dealing with an addict book

Kindeyes

My XAH failed to pay child support for my son's entire childhood except for the two years he was remarried. His wife (now ex) made sure that those child support payments were made for the two years she was married to him. My son, now a father himself, is following in his father's footsteps and does not pay child support for his son. And so the cycle continues.

The really weird thing......my AXH has made about 3 or 4 child support payments over the last few months of $5 each. Our son is 30. I don't know what to make of it.

I understand your frustration. It is difficult at best.....if not impossible to co-parent with an addict.

I hope you can find serenity regardless of the games your ex plays.

gentle hugs
ke