First time in a forum
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
First time in a forum
Hi everyone. I'm a 25 year old female, and although like some, I'm not trying to stop drinking completely but for two months to see if I can do it. If I feel the need to continue sobriety, I will. I just started May 26. I know a lot of bartenders, djs, models, and promoters in the San Antonio area. It's really hard to stop when there are constantly raves, huge house parties, boat parties, pool parties, pub runs and crawls, festivals, concerts, friends coming back from Iraq, birthday parties, etc. My friends are constantly going on vacations as well. On vacations, you DRINK! What makes it even worse is I'm known as the party girl or life of that party drinking everyone under the table. Knowing that, when I told people I was taking a hiatus from drinking, I was pressured even more into all of the memorial day festivities. I just got to a point where I feel like drinking has ultimately ruined my life and taken control of it. I miss the old quiet, shy, nice, sweet, intelligent, caring me. I had good morals and standards. Now I feel as if I have barely any. I worked as a go go dancer where alcohol was pretty much required and nonstop. I JUST quit that job so that's no longer an obstacle. I want to find a balance between fun and real life. Sat and Sun was a bitch not going to lie, but today is quite nice. I think this will be good to reprioritize my life. The way I see it, if I never started drinking, I would be working on my PHD right now. My intelligent side is completely shadowed by my drinking which hurts my feelings because I'm just seen as the drunk, stupid, half dressed girl at the bar. Yet, here I am trying to pick up the pieces of a life I used to have when I had absolutely everything going for me. IN SHORT, I want to leave this regret behind me somehow. The regret that I f**ked everything up to for instant gratification, partying, and fun. Thanks for reading.
Happy Memorial Day to all! God Bless all our fallen heroes and their families.
Happy Memorial Day to all! God Bless all our fallen heroes and their families.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
Hi HK~~~~
hey, time is the coin of your life, and you are still a very wealthy women. Congrads on your decision to regain control and direction in what seems to have been a wrong turn. You will find all kinds of useful information and support on this site; I look forward to seeing you on the boards~~~~~
hey, time is the coin of your life, and you are still a very wealthy women. Congrads on your decision to regain control and direction in what seems to have been a wrong turn. You will find all kinds of useful information and support on this site; I look forward to seeing you on the boards~~~~~
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Welcome HelloKitty 
This was very much me too
I hope your two months off will help you work out whats best for you.
I decided that complete abstinence was the way for me, because every time I reintroduced alcohol into my life the same bad things happened, and my life was ruined all over again.
Personally, I'm much better off with alcohol in my life at all
D
This was very much me too
I just got to a point where I feel like drinking has ultimately ruined my life and taken control of it. I miss the old quiet, shy, nice, sweet, intelligent, caring me. I had good morals and standards. Now I feel as if I have barely any.
I decided that complete abstinence was the way for me, because every time I reintroduced alcohol into my life the same bad things happened, and my life was ruined all over again.
Personally, I'm much better off with alcohol in my life at all
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
I already feel better even though it has been 2 1/2 days. Working out is helping me to forgot I want to go out with friends, but I noticed I started eating a lot. I was always to hungover to eat until around 9 pm.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome HelloKitty!
I lost the real me when I drank, too. I don't think I even knew how much alcohol controlled me until I'd been sober for a while. I was pretty scared to give it up (how would I ever have fun again?!), but now I see that being free from it has expanded my life enormously and I'm actually enjoying myself so much more!
It's great to have you join us!
I lost the real me when I drank, too. I don't think I even knew how much alcohol controlled me until I'd been sober for a while. I was pretty scared to give it up (how would I ever have fun again?!), but now I see that being free from it has expanded my life enormously and I'm actually enjoying myself so much more!
It's great to have you join us!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Welcome and I'm glad you found us!
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking for two months. Honestly, after two months of recovery, nothing could have talked me into go back to drinking again. Like you, I had lost my way in my life, and I was thrilled to be able to work towards a meaningful life.
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking for two months. Honestly, after two months of recovery, nothing could have talked me into go back to drinking again. Like you, I had lost my way in my life, and I was thrilled to be able to work towards a meaningful life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
Thank you Dee. At this point in time, I can't even fathom never going out and drinking again. It's a huge part of my life unfortunately. Never drinking again to me is like never having as much fun as I ever did again. I hope I can figure this out and at least last two months. Thanks for your responses. I really appreciate them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by artsoul 
Welcome HelloKitty!
I lost the real me when I drank, too. I don't think I even knew how much alcohol controlled me until I'd been sober for a while. I was pretty scared to give it up (how would I ever have fun again?!), but now I see that being free from it has expanded my life enormously and I'm actually enjoying myself so much more!
It's great to have you join us!
I lost the real me when I drank, too. I don't think I even knew how much alcohol controlled me until I'd been sober for a while. I was pretty scared to give it up (how would I ever have fun again?!), but now I see that being free from it has expanded my life enormously and I'm actually enjoying myself so much more!
It's great to have you join us!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 173
Hi Hello Kitty-
Your post is me to a "T". Can you imagine that being your life at 48 years old? That is how old I was when I stopped partying. I was tired of the moral decay. Waking up the next day shamefully saying to myself,"thats not who you are". Then one day I realized that I had been saying, "thats not who you are" for years. It was true that was who I had become. I was simply sick and tired of being sick and tired. I bored myself. I tried to stop altogether and I was able to for short periods of time, but once I went back I never knew when I would go overboard once again. I loved to binge drink. When I realized that fact about myself I also realized that I needed help to stop. I went to AA and did everything they said to do. I am grateful today that I have not wanted a drink since November 1, 2010. You can do it, dont spend too much time in regret, move forward to the life you should have. Take good care!
Your post is me to a "T". Can you imagine that being your life at 48 years old? That is how old I was when I stopped partying. I was tired of the moral decay. Waking up the next day shamefully saying to myself,"thats not who you are". Then one day I realized that I had been saying, "thats not who you are" for years. It was true that was who I had become. I was simply sick and tired of being sick and tired. I bored myself. I tried to stop altogether and I was able to for short periods of time, but once I went back I never knew when I would go overboard once again. I loved to binge drink. When I realized that fact about myself I also realized that I needed help to stop. I went to AA and did everything they said to do. I am grateful today that I have not wanted a drink since November 1, 2010. You can do it, dont spend too much time in regret, move forward to the life you should have. Take good care!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by oh2exhale
Hi Hello Kitty-
Your post is me to a "T". Can you imagine that being your life at 48 years old? That is how old I was when I stopped partying. I was tired of the moral decay. Waking up the next day shamefully saying to myself,"thats not who you are". Then one day I realized that I had been saying, "thats not who you are" for years. It was true that was who I had become. I was simply sick and tired of being sick and tired. I bored myself. I tried to stop altogether and I was able to for short periods of time, but once I went back I never knew when I would go overboard once again. I loved to binge drink. When I realized that fact about myself I also realized that I needed help to stop. I went to AA and did everything they said to do. I am grateful today that I have not wanted a drink since November 1, 2010. You can do it, dont spend too much time in regret, move forward to the life you should have. Take good care!
Your post is me to a "T". Can you imagine that being your life at 48 years old? That is how old I was when I stopped partying. I was tired of the moral decay. Waking up the next day shamefully saying to myself,"thats not who you are". Then one day I realized that I had been saying, "thats not who you are" for years. It was true that was who I had become. I was simply sick and tired of being sick and tired. I bored myself. I tried to stop altogether and I was able to for short periods of time, but once I went back I never knew when I would go overboard once again. I loved to binge drink. When I realized that fact about myself I also realized that I needed help to stop. I went to AA and did everything they said to do. I am grateful today that I have not wanted a drink since November 1, 2010. You can do it, dont spend too much time in regret, move forward to the life you should have. Take good care!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
HelloKitty,
Hi from Austin! I think it is great that you are giving sobriety a try for a couple of months. I wish I would have been that mature at your age!
I don't have a lot to say - just wanted to give you some support, and welcome you to SR! This place is helping me save my life. Take care.
Hi from Austin! I think it is great that you are giving sobriety a try for a couple of months. I wish I would have been that mature at your age!
I don't have a lot to say - just wanted to give you some support, and welcome you to SR! This place is helping me save my life. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Hi HK, welcome to SR and welcome to the May group as well
It's good that you're committing to two months -- especially if you're willing to read and learn as much as you can about drinking and recovery during that period. You'll get out of these next two months more than you put into it, I think, but not if you just "hold your breath" or "white-knuckle" through two months. So congrats on trying new things right out of the gate, like skydiving. (Though personally I don't see the point of jumping out of a perfectly functioning airplane. )
Sobriety can change your life just as radically as drinking did -- but for the better.
It's good that you're committing to two months -- especially if you're willing to read and learn as much as you can about drinking and recovery during that period. You'll get out of these next two months more than you put into it, I think, but not if you just "hold your breath" or "white-knuckle" through two months. So congrats on trying new things right out of the gate, like skydiving. (Though personally I don't see the point of jumping out of a perfectly functioning airplane.
)Sobriety can change your life just as radically as drinking did -- but for the better.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi HelloKitty,
I know what you mean about feeling inadequate after checking out Facebook. I get so miserable seeing people's baby or vacation pics and I am lonely soul working a dead-end job as I try to rebuild my life and career. However, I am sober and that is the most important thing.
I know what you mean about feeling inadequate after checking out Facebook. I get so miserable seeing people's baby or vacation pics and I am lonely soul working a dead-end job as I try to rebuild my life and career. However, I am sober and that is the most important thing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Welcome to SR Hellokitty! I think that quitting for 2 months is a splendid idea. Keep a journal during this time so that if you do go back to drinking you have something to reference. I've found it's a great help.
Facebook is one of those things... people always show the "Best" parts of their lives. Don't forget that even those people that all look so happy and successful are still humans and have problems of their own. The key is to work on ourselves... since that's the only true "power" we have. Take care and keep posting!
Facebook is one of those things... people always show the "Best" parts of their lives. Don't forget that even those people that all look so happy and successful are still humans and have problems of their own. The key is to work on ourselves... since that's the only true "power" we have. Take care and keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US
Posts: 6
So everything went downhill because one of my best friends tried to commit suicide at the 4th of July BBQ, so I drank and took xanax. 
I don't think I'll be able to stop for a while. I feel really ashamed and guilty. The only thing I'm looking forward to tomorrow is lunch, so I can go to happy hour. This is horrible, and I wish I didn't feel this way. I also think the lack of concern from my exbf who I shouldn't even talk to anyway contributed to this. I'm not quite sure how to even deal with this. I don't know who I should talk to because I don't want to come off as a sob story because everyone has problems and issues. They are probably worse than mine anyway, so I just don't know what to do.
I don't think I'll be able to stop for a while. I feel really ashamed and guilty. The only thing I'm looking forward to tomorrow is lunch, so I can go to happy hour. This is horrible, and I wish I didn't feel this way. I also think the lack of concern from my exbf who I shouldn't even talk to anyway contributed to this. I'm not quite sure how to even deal with this. I don't know who I should talk to because I don't want to come off as a sob story because everyone has problems and issues. They are probably worse than mine anyway, so I just don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Good to see you back kitty....Sorry about the circumstances...Try not to be too hard on yourself....This happens...It's how you deal with it that counts. Let me ask you....Why do you say you won't be able to stop for awhile?....Why not just stop now?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
HelloKitty, there's a number of things in life that aren't worth doing.
One of them is beating yourself about slipping. It happens. It's what you do about it that counts. And you know what that is. Learn from it, and start again. Actually, beating yourself in general is a really bad idea.
The other is comparing problems. Yes, somebody else's life might be worse than yours. That's not the point. Your problems are still there and still real.
Let me put it another way. That person who has 'worse problems than mine, so I should stop whining'. I could find somebody who has it worse than them if I looked. Should they turn round and say their problems don't count?
And I could probably keep doing this.
There is always somebody worse off, but so what?
HelloKitty, we're here for you. We care. We understand. I'm not sure which of those is more important, or whether they're connected. And we won't judge.
Sapling does ask a good question, why not stop now? It won't get easier if you put it off.
One of them is beating yourself about slipping. It happens. It's what you do about it that counts. And you know what that is. Learn from it, and start again. Actually, beating yourself in general is a really bad idea.
The other is comparing problems. Yes, somebody else's life might be worse than yours. That's not the point. Your problems are still there and still real.
Let me put it another way. That person who has 'worse problems than mine, so I should stop whining'. I could find somebody who has it worse than them if I looked. Should they turn round and say their problems don't count?
And I could probably keep doing this.
There is always somebody worse off, but so what?
HelloKitty, we're here for you. We care. We understand. I'm not sure which of those is more important, or whether they're connected. And we won't judge.
Sapling does ask a good question, why not stop now? It won't get easier if you put it off.
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