Lost3000

Well, here it goes. So far I've told a couple of my closest friends, my husband, and my brother (although he doesn't know the alcoholic part, just that I quit). Now I get to be around my mother who I believe drinks alcoholically.

I'm taking a trip home to see my youngest brother graduate high school. Thankfully my trip is short, only a few days. I'm so psyched to spend time with him but am not as excited to see my mom.

I love my mom so much, and we get along well. I'd even say we are close. But not that close LOL, as I don't want to share about my newfound sobriety with her. I'm anticipating her usual moves, "let's have a drink!" and of course have a built-in plan ahead of time for dealing with it. My trusty husband is coming along, thank god.

Anyone else care to share about their experiences with this?

Sapling

I wish you luck Lost...My Mom was praying for me to get help.....I'm glad your husband is going with you...That helps. You know what you have to do.

Lost3000

Thanks. My mom lives in another city and has no idea what I've gone through. When I quit before, and told her so, she had lots of reasons why she loved drinking. I recognized it for what it was, but also realized she wasn't going to be a huge source of support for me.

Lost3000

P.S. - My husband is my biggest supporter.

sissy07

Hi Lost,

Just accept it for what it is. I figure if your Mom (or anyone else asking if you want a drink) really understood what you were going through, and the fight you were waging on alcohol, they would be begging you to not drink. But - they don't know. If I feel like I need to give a reason that I am not drinking (which I really shouldn't, but I do) I say that it just makes me feel sick, or I am on medicine that I can't mix with it. Anyone that pushes it farther with why, why why, I just say no and that is it.

Too bad your Mom can't be supportive, but you have your husband, and that is even better. Best wishes.

nel68

Good luck Lost, I'm sure you will do fine Always good to have a plan...enjoy your visit.

Lost3000

You know, you bring up a really good point. If my mom knew, she probably would be supportive. But she'd still question it to death and that's what I think would be negative to my sobriety. Things like, but are you sure? You can't be an alcoholic! Stuff like that. And then she'd be weird, well, no way could I give up my happy hour! Beer relaxes me! Stuff like that.

I just don't have the energy to deal with that kind of thing. So instead I'll have to say, I quit mom, I just felt like it was time. If she pushes it, I'll have to stand my ground.

I'm really not looking forward to this: Well, let's go have a drink! And, I'm thirsty, we better get some beer! Almost all of her free time surrounds drinking. Or she'll fit in something like yoga and then want a beer!!

I'll be ok, I know I will. I'm just not looking forward to it.

neferkamichael

Hi Lost. Congratulations on 5 months of sobriety. It's inevitable that you will have to tell your mom, don't ya think? What ya gonna do when she ask ya to have a drink? I certainly hope all goes well.

Lost3000

Thank you!!!! Not to 5 mos yet, but will be this Wed. I think.

I don't see why I'd ever have to tell her. I'm talking about my alcoholism. I have no problem telling her I quit drinking. Why do you think it's inevitable?

Easyrider

My mam died 5 years ago, the day I started smoking again and while I'm not using it as an excuse, may well have been a catylist for my drinking. I know she'd be proud of me now though. I was so close to her, she was my best friend. We drank together too. (so it wasn't the start of my drinking). Can't help thinking the drink might have contributed to her death. I remember telling her I'd kill myself if she died. I obviously didn't, but maybe I was trying to do it slowly. It took me a long time to get over it but I've accepted it now (probably just in the last few months). But I'm not sad, I have happy memories. Kinda makes you want to believe in the supernatural, to think she's watching over me. But I'm a pretty staunch atheist. Sorry for hijacking your thread.

Lost3000

EasyRider: Sorry to hear about your mom. I know we all have an end and that includes my mom. I'm dreading that day. The selfish side of me wants to go first so I don't have to go through the pain of losing her.

Thanks for reminding me of the love I have for my mom. While she won't get my sobriety and I'm not going to tell her about it, I am looking forward to seeing her.

My 2 cents on the topic of supernatural - I'm not atheist, but not religious. Definitely not Christian. But I do think that there is an afterlife, something anyhow. I do think that your "soul" exists, and that once your physical body dies, your "self" goes on. So while I doubt that your mom is sitting on a throne in puffy clouds looking down on you, I don't doubt for one second that she's with you from time to time.

Easyrider

I appreciate the senitment, thank you.

Lost3000

Thank you for sharing too EasyRider.