All work and no play...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
All work and no play...
I hope everyone is well. I havent posted in awhile cause Ive been busy with new job & meetings etc. Im usually in bed before 11, sometimes as early as 930 when Im really tired. Anyways, overall Im doing ok...on to my topic:
A little over a month at the new job, work a minimum of 44 hours and up to 65 hours per week. 11 hour days, 4-6 days per week. I was on a schedule of 9 meetings per week while unemployed. I tried to continue with those same meetings once working & flamed out. My days ran out of time & I was over-tired all the time. And I fell into a pretty deep depression around week 3 on that schedule. I had/have no fun in my life. Even at the hang after the meeting, when laughing with friends, I feel alone.
So this week I really cutback on my meetings. Not planned...it just happened. Due to exhaustion, I skipped my "maintenance" monday meeting. Went to my usual Tues-Wed-Thurs meetings. then because I had to work Saturday, I went to bed waaay early Friday night skipping my meeting. I worked 9.5 hours today, and had planned to go to my usual 2 Saturday night meetings...until thoughts of going to same meetings depressed me and I changed my plans and met up with some old friends and went into downtown to watch the UFC fights. My sponsor, after hearing of my new plans, sent me a text about how "forming a pattern of skipping meetings".
Now, there is no one in this world tougher on Shane, than Shane himself. A main reason I drank was self esteem/value issues. I beat up on myself relentlessly, and think nothing I do will ever be good enough. So when someone else piles on, I get kinda pissed. And my sponsor knows this...or at least I thought he knew me. All I think I know is that I am truly depressed and unsure of where my current road is gonna take me.
Sometimes when I am deep deep down in my pit I ask myself...am I actually happier now with almost 4 months sober & a job, then when I was a drunk with no responsibilities & no future? Truth is...I cant answer that because I dont want to lie to myself.
A little over a month at the new job, work a minimum of 44 hours and up to 65 hours per week. 11 hour days, 4-6 days per week. I was on a schedule of 9 meetings per week while unemployed. I tried to continue with those same meetings once working & flamed out. My days ran out of time & I was over-tired all the time. And I fell into a pretty deep depression around week 3 on that schedule. I had/have no fun in my life. Even at the hang after the meeting, when laughing with friends, I feel alone.
So this week I really cutback on my meetings. Not planned...it just happened. Due to exhaustion, I skipped my "maintenance" monday meeting. Went to my usual Tues-Wed-Thurs meetings. then because I had to work Saturday, I went to bed waaay early Friday night skipping my meeting. I worked 9.5 hours today, and had planned to go to my usual 2 Saturday night meetings...until thoughts of going to same meetings depressed me and I changed my plans and met up with some old friends and went into downtown to watch the UFC fights. My sponsor, after hearing of my new plans, sent me a text about how "forming a pattern of skipping meetings".
Now, there is no one in this world tougher on Shane, than Shane himself. A main reason I drank was self esteem/value issues. I beat up on myself relentlessly, and think nothing I do will ever be good enough. So when someone else piles on, I get kinda pissed. And my sponsor knows this...or at least I thought he knew me. All I think I know is that I am truly depressed and unsure of where my current road is gonna take me.
Sometimes when I am deep deep down in my pit I ask myself...am I actually happier now with almost 4 months sober & a job, then when I was a drunk with no responsibilities & no future? Truth is...I cant answer that because I dont want to lie to myself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hi sweetie, I missed you! 
Simple answer, dude - you're miserable, so something has to change. You automatically think that being sober is the problem (sneaky booze thinkin if ever I heard it...) but you know really that's not the problem. Change something, but not that. Maybe the meetings, maybe your work hours, change something healthy. I don't know much about AA and I'm not going to get into a whole thing about it, but why are you expected to go to 9 meetings a week? Plenty of people only go to one or two and don't get told they're slacker losers!
Don't beat yourself up - you're a dude and have worked your butt off for this.
Ace to hear from you,
Still xxx
Simple answer, dude - you're miserable, so something has to change. You automatically think that being sober is the problem (sneaky booze thinkin if ever I heard it...) but you know really that's not the problem. Change something, but not that. Maybe the meetings, maybe your work hours, change something healthy. I don't know much about AA and I'm not going to get into a whole thing about it, but why are you expected to go to 9 meetings a week? Plenty of people only go to one or two and don't get told they're slacker losers!
Don't beat yourself up - you're a dude and have worked your butt off for this.
Ace to hear from you,
Still xxx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Shane
good to see you - I'm glad you're doing ok.
I'll leave it to others to tackle the meetings and sponsors thing...but if you're not drinking and you're ok with that, I reckon that's one problem in hand
Its the integrating that can be hard. Finding the right balance between living the life we got sober for, and maintaining our recovery can be hard in the beginning but I found the two began to dovetail eventually.
I need both...so I do both
and as Still said, maybe there's another problem happening here?
I found a lot of problems I'd drunk about resurfaced when I got sober, including depression.
If you feel that way, it makes sense to make the time and see a Doc, Shane.
D
good to see you - I'm glad you're doing ok.
I'll leave it to others to tackle the meetings and sponsors thing...but if you're not drinking and you're ok with that, I reckon that's one problem in hand
Its the integrating that can be hard. Finding the right balance between living the life we got sober for, and maintaining our recovery can be hard in the beginning but I found the two began to dovetail eventually.
I need both...so I do both
and as Still said, maybe there's another problem happening here?
I found a lot of problems I'd drunk about resurfaced when I got sober, including depression.
If you feel that way, it makes sense to make the time and see a Doc, Shane.
D
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
We recover by the steps we take, not the meetings we make which is another way of saying that for alcoholics of my type I need to be doing more than going to meetings to recover. I had a job like yours, 60 hours plus a week, doing something that I really enjoyed and I did it for about 6 years. Meetings were two or three a week at most. But I was two years sober when I took this job and I had taken the steps and completed nearly all step 9 amends by this time.
Balance is always a problem, work, AA family, in early sobriety and I kind of wonder if your work load is a little much for the moment. But, having said that, if you have taken the steps and work with other alcoholics from time to time, then reduced meetings won't do you any harm. It's through working the steps that we recover and if you are doing your honest best with the steps, God will take care of you.
Balance is always a problem, work, AA family, in early sobriety and I kind of wonder if your work load is a little much for the moment. But, having said that, if you have taken the steps and work with other alcoholics from time to time, then reduced meetings won't do you any harm. It's through working the steps that we recover and if you are doing your honest best with the steps, God will take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I was wondering where you were Shane..I agree with Gottalife.....At four months AA was my job.....But I'm glad to see you aren't drinking....How are you doing on the steps?...It's all about balance Shane...Maybe taking on sixty + hours a week is a little much at this time....I don't know.....I do know for myself...If I put that job in front of my sobriety...I wouldn't have either for very long. It's good to hear from you.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by ShaneW 
Sometimes when I am deep deep down in my pit I ask myself...am I actually happier now with almost 4 months sober & a job, then when I was a drunk with no responsibilities & no future? Truth is...I cant answer that because I dont want to lie to myself.
Something I've realised though through spending more time with regular everyday people rather than a) mental active alcoholics and b) very religious recovery people is that feeling like this is a symptom of being human, not being an alcoholic.
Personally, being sober doesn't bring me happiness. It stops drunkenness from bringing me misery. To maintain my sobriety I have to always remember that subtle but important distinction.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by SoberRightNow
Something I've realised though through spending more time with regular everyday people rather than a) mental active alcoholics and b) very religious recovery people is that feeling like this is a symptom of being human, not being an alcoholic.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by Sapling
I'm not real sure I get this....Can you explain that?
There is a tendency among people in recovery, especially those attempting to follow programs that promise things like "a new peace and happiness", to get sober, discover they still have negative feelings about their life and interpret these feelings as continued symptoms of their alcoholism.
The "solution" generally offered is for the individual to see themselves at fault for these negative feelings - they are a consequence of not "working" their program sufficiently, not being sufficiently "honest", etc etc.
The reality of course, as is apparent by talking to non-alcoholics who exhibit exactly the same range of positive and negative feelings as recovered alcoholics do, is that sobriety gives you an opportunity to live a normal human life rather than the chaotic downward spiral of a drunk.
A normal human life includes such negative feelings and for many of us, maintaining sobriety is about learning to not allow these feelings to trigger us to drink rather than expecting to be able to control these feelings.
There are many of us who believe that defining your human experience in terms of your previous addiction is pandering to that addiction. Many of us find it far more useful to accept that negative feelings are a consequence of being human and that the miracle of sobriety is that we get to experience the entire range of normal human experience without a need to blot out the extremes of feeling with a drink.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by Sapling
I guess I just wanted to clarify the difference between very religious recovery people and regular everyday people...Thanks.
I meant people who aren't in recovery from an addiction.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Shane, I have scaled back work for the moment.
I just am not able to do it all and that is ok.
I don't go to a mtg if I have just done a 12-14hour day because I need to chill out and go to bed at a reasonable hour.
If I go to a mtg after work and have to work next day, I still need to have some "Anne time" so go to bed to late and end up tired. Then HALT kicks in, too tired! Danger zone. Like a crackers tired child, I don't know which way is up!
Just don't go fooling yourself into thinking drinking was better.
As Still says, that is alcohol, cunning, baffling and powerful for sure.
:ghug3
I just am not able to do it all and that is ok.
I don't go to a mtg if I have just done a 12-14hour day because I need to chill out and go to bed at a reasonable hour.
If I go to a mtg after work and have to work next day, I still need to have some "Anne time" so go to bed to late and end up tired. Then HALT kicks in, too tired! Danger zone. Like a crackers tired child, I don't know which way is up!
Just don't go fooling yourself into thinking drinking was better.
As Still says, that is alcohol, cunning, baffling and powerful for sure.
:ghug3
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I removed several posts under rule 4.
I'd ask everyone now to get back on topic - thanks.
D
4. No Flaming: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
It is also our policy not to allow threads that are purely to announce that you are unhappy here and "leaving the site'" or to post threads discussing why someone left or was banned. Such posts often detract from our purpose of providing support in recovery. Posts of this nature may be removed and continued posting of this nature could jeopardize your membership. If you wish to “leave” SR or just take a break from the site you are welcome to notify your friends via the Private Message feature.
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
It is also our policy not to allow threads that are purely to announce that you are unhappy here and "leaving the site'" or to post threads discussing why someone left or was banned. Such posts often detract from our purpose of providing support in recovery. Posts of this nature may be removed and continued posting of this nature could jeopardize your membership. If you wish to “leave” SR or just take a break from the site you are welcome to notify your friends via the Private Message feature.
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
I'd ask everyone now to get back on topic - thanks.
D
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hi Shane
Leisure time is important to me as well (not I'm in AA so don't have choice to make). I think getting back to work is going to require a bit of a rebalancing to carve out some ordinary relaxation time. I wonder if you can be a bit flexible depending on how you're feeling and what level of support you're needing at a particular time.
Hang in there - I'm sure you'll get it sorted - you've just had the great bonus of working but have lost many hours you could make choices about. I'm sure you'll find a healthy and happy balance.
Leisure time is important to me as well (not I'm in AA so don't have choice to make). I think getting back to work is going to require a bit of a rebalancing to carve out some ordinary relaxation time. I wonder if you can be a bit flexible depending on how you're feeling and what level of support you're needing at a particular time.
Hang in there - I'm sure you'll get it sorted - you've just had the great bonus of working but have lost many hours you could make choices about. I'm sure you'll find a healthy and happy balance.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
This is a very interesting thread to me. I also struggle with "guilt factor" of missing meetings, and have found that when I do miss them, I am sometimes more strongly tempted to drink. But, I've also felt that I was allowing meetings to take over my life and schedule, and cost me family time. Of course, that wasn't an issue when drinking cost my family 4-6 hours every day, plus $15 to $25/day.
I think what I'm reading from Shane's OP is that he has been provided the opportunity to assimilate back into real life, and its causing him some conflicts. I get that. I have been afforded the opportunity to work on my recovery for the better part of a year. I believe God has provided me the time in my life, as He wants my recovery as much as I do. My wife has tolerated all kinds of outcomes much better than I could have if the roles are reversed. My earnings (I'm self employed) have reflected my recovery and are a fraction of what I should be earning; probably about 25-35% of my expected income. But, I know that this investment is worth it for everyone, and for my future.
Where I struggle is in getting re-engaged in my career and life. I may have it too easy to stay in the comfort of recovery, rather than go and earn the living my family needs. I've been in much thought about this, and pray about it as well.
I use both AA and REBT/CBT strategies for my recovery, and I find that they work symbiotically for me. I have always been a Christian, even before becoming an active alcoholic. I also believe God provides for our needs, and when we are making our lives better, in a God-pleasing way, we need not worry about provision. That has been proven to me over all my decades of living, but particularly the last two. That could be a book all its own, so I won't elaborate here.
Yet, I completely understand the struggle Shane speaks of, and kind of think I should be having that struggle at this point in my recovery as well. Not that I want added stress, but my family deserves the greater earnings. I just need to confidently believe that focusing on normal human life will not set back my focus on sobriety.
Sorry for the rambling, and its not my intention to make this thread about me, but I thought I'd add what I share about Shane's struggle. You have my thoughts and prayers, Shane, and thanks for posting!
I think what I'm reading from Shane's OP is that he has been provided the opportunity to assimilate back into real life, and its causing him some conflicts. I get that. I have been afforded the opportunity to work on my recovery for the better part of a year. I believe God has provided me the time in my life, as He wants my recovery as much as I do. My wife has tolerated all kinds of outcomes much better than I could have if the roles are reversed. My earnings (I'm self employed) have reflected my recovery and are a fraction of what I should be earning; probably about 25-35% of my expected income. But, I know that this investment is worth it for everyone, and for my future.
Where I struggle is in getting re-engaged in my career and life. I may have it too easy to stay in the comfort of recovery, rather than go and earn the living my family needs. I've been in much thought about this, and pray about it as well.
I use both AA and REBT/CBT strategies for my recovery, and I find that they work symbiotically for me. I have always been a Christian, even before becoming an active alcoholic. I also believe God provides for our needs, and when we are making our lives better, in a God-pleasing way, we need not worry about provision. That has been proven to me over all my decades of living, but particularly the last two. That could be a book all its own, so I won't elaborate here.
Yet, I completely understand the struggle Shane speaks of, and kind of think I should be having that struggle at this point in my recovery as well. Not that I want added stress, but my family deserves the greater earnings. I just need to confidently believe that focusing on normal human life will not set back my focus on sobriety.
Sorry for the rambling, and its not my intention to make this thread about me, but I thought I'd add what I share about Shane's struggle. You have my thoughts and prayers, Shane, and thanks for posting!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I was wondering how work was going for you!
My sponsor had me commit to a specific number of meetings per week. As an alkie, I have a hard time meeting my commitments. So far, I have at least met my commitment for the past year.
Working the steps is where I find I can live the principles in all of my affairs. Meetings don't keep me sober. Today, we often confuse a meeting with the fellowship. They are not the same thing.
How's the step work moving along??? That is most important to continue the step work. Meeting with your sponsor once a week to do step work is more important than going to a meeting as there is no solution to share, yet. The steps are the solution.
Glad you are still sober and still around!!
My sponsor had me commit to a specific number of meetings per week. As an alkie, I have a hard time meeting my commitments. So far, I have at least met my commitment for the past year.
Working the steps is where I find I can live the principles in all of my affairs. Meetings don't keep me sober. Today, we often confuse a meeting with the fellowship. They are not the same thing.
How's the step work moving along??? That is most important to continue the step work. Meeting with your sponsor once a week to do step work is more important than going to a meeting as there is no solution to share, yet. The steps are the solution.
Glad you are still sober and still around!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by LoftyIdeals
I just need to confidently believe that focusing on normal human life will not set back my focus on sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
Thanks for the thoughtful replies. I am soaking it all in...Ive missed SR, and am glad to be reconnecting with everyone. Truth is I go some days without even opening my laptop, too busy to even check email...except on my phone.
Im gonna reply to the great posts on subjects:
Job - The job is based on comission, so cutting hours will drastically reduce my income to the point it is no longer a worthwhile occupation. It might end up that way anyways, as Im learning on how our commission is paid out, and am discovering it truly is NOT the job I was offered in the interview. I was straight up lied to about the scheduling. I was told 4 days a week, 10hr45min days. Commission based, but with a flat bi-weekly salary that alone amounts to $9/hr. Problem Im discovering is that because management just allows other salesmen to set their own hours & work as many days/week as they want, instead of going by the 4 day Rotation schedule I accepted job based on, that is cutting into my own ability to make sales/earn. We have a finite # of appts each day, and when we have to split those appts up between 3 people, instead of 2 (as it should be)...then money is literally being taken from my pocket. I have spoken some to management about this, but they seem unwilling to take control because they pay us the same flat salary regardless of whether 2 or 3 of us are working, so for them having 3 people working each day is a bonus they are getting for free. I plan to have a closed door meeting with my Manager this week to discuss this and determine a course of action. If they plan to keep it a free for all & completely unlike the job I accepted, where my ability to earn is negatively affected, I will be putting in my 2-weeks notice. See we have to reach a sales quota each month, before our commission rate even kicks in...it appears this past month I may not even reach the quota, because of training & having to split appts with 2 other guys (instead of just 1 as I was told it would be) each day. So basically working my ass off 55+ hours a week and maybe earning $9/hr. Needless to say, I am pissed, annoyed, and feel cheated. While its important for me to say that I also still feel GREAT to have a job & be working, and I DEF enjoy the people there and do enjoy the job itself at times. If you can follow all that...I hope.
Meetings - both my Sponsor and my Grand Sponsor, who I am also very close to, have kinda been hounding me about missing meetings. They did agree on cutting back on the double meeting days (Saturday-Sunday), but seem to think because I am still early in recovery that I NEED to make a meeting everyday. I understand where they are coming from, and take value in what they are telling me as they are only speaking from experience etc. But I agree with many of you who posted saying just going to meeting isnt the solution, especially if its just for maintenance. I need more time for myself, and for FUN. I tend to laugh a lot, but cant remember the last time I had genuine fun. Since I started working I seem to just think of things as burning the precious time I have before I have to get to bed, and therefore cant enjoy ANYTHING I do. Whether it be meetings or just hanging out with friends. In other words, I am kinda miserable.
HALT - I am always Tired. I am ALWAYS Lonely (this is a HUGE one, more on this later). Hungry and Angry come and go, but Im basically living half-HALTing at all times. Something has to change.
Living Situation - As Ive posted here before, I live with a daily drinking relative in declining health. They had been supporting me while I was a drinking/wasting my life away. I NEED to get out of this place. It is toxic. But there in lies the rub...cause if you read my JOB part, the job I do have I am probably not going to stay at for long due to accepting the job under false advertising. So Im stuck...need to move out, want to move out, but only job offer Ive had in years is the one I am currently working.
STEPS - Ive been stuck on step 8 for weeks. I know, I know. But my Sponsor was away at the beach, and Ive been busy with job/meetings etc. That and Im coming to conclusion I dont have many names to put on list besides family. I was a isolationist drunk, and most friends I have issues with we worked things out a long time ago. Maybe 1 ex-girlfriend is list worthy, but shes married with 2 kids now, so probably not. Anyways I plan on diving into this, maybe today if my Sponsor decides to show up at our Sunday meeting (usually not). Hes a good friend and we do good step work together when we do it, but hes super busy with work etc like I am, so he misses meetings all the time (yet another reason why sometimes I get annoyed at him piling on me for skipping a meet or 2).
Anyways, thx again. I hope to be on here more lately, I need SR in my life...Love you guys.
Anyways, sorry for writing so much, but thats where Im at.
Im gonna reply to the great posts on subjects:
Job - The job is based on comission, so cutting hours will drastically reduce my income to the point it is no longer a worthwhile occupation. It might end up that way anyways, as Im learning on how our commission is paid out, and am discovering it truly is NOT the job I was offered in the interview. I was straight up lied to about the scheduling. I was told 4 days a week, 10hr45min days. Commission based, but with a flat bi-weekly salary that alone amounts to $9/hr. Problem Im discovering is that because management just allows other salesmen to set their own hours & work as many days/week as they want, instead of going by the 4 day Rotation schedule I accepted job based on, that is cutting into my own ability to make sales/earn. We have a finite # of appts each day, and when we have to split those appts up between 3 people, instead of 2 (as it should be)...then money is literally being taken from my pocket. I have spoken some to management about this, but they seem unwilling to take control because they pay us the same flat salary regardless of whether 2 or 3 of us are working, so for them having 3 people working each day is a bonus they are getting for free. I plan to have a closed door meeting with my Manager this week to discuss this and determine a course of action. If they plan to keep it a free for all & completely unlike the job I accepted, where my ability to earn is negatively affected, I will be putting in my 2-weeks notice. See we have to reach a sales quota each month, before our commission rate even kicks in...it appears this past month I may not even reach the quota, because of training & having to split appts with 2 other guys (instead of just 1 as I was told it would be) each day. So basically working my ass off 55+ hours a week and maybe earning $9/hr. Needless to say, I am pissed, annoyed, and feel cheated. While its important for me to say that I also still feel GREAT to have a job & be working, and I DEF enjoy the people there and do enjoy the job itself at times. If you can follow all that...I hope.
Meetings - both my Sponsor and my Grand Sponsor, who I am also very close to, have kinda been hounding me about missing meetings. They did agree on cutting back on the double meeting days (Saturday-Sunday), but seem to think because I am still early in recovery that I NEED to make a meeting everyday. I understand where they are coming from, and take value in what they are telling me as they are only speaking from experience etc. But I agree with many of you who posted saying just going to meeting isnt the solution, especially if its just for maintenance. I need more time for myself, and for FUN. I tend to laugh a lot, but cant remember the last time I had genuine fun. Since I started working I seem to just think of things as burning the precious time I have before I have to get to bed, and therefore cant enjoy ANYTHING I do. Whether it be meetings or just hanging out with friends. In other words, I am kinda miserable.
HALT - I am always Tired. I am ALWAYS Lonely (this is a HUGE one, more on this later). Hungry and Angry come and go, but Im basically living half-HALTing at all times. Something has to change.
Living Situation - As Ive posted here before, I live with a daily drinking relative in declining health. They had been supporting me while I was a drinking/wasting my life away. I NEED to get out of this place. It is toxic. But there in lies the rub...cause if you read my JOB part, the job I do have I am probably not going to stay at for long due to accepting the job under false advertising. So Im stuck...need to move out, want to move out, but only job offer Ive had in years is the one I am currently working.
STEPS - Ive been stuck on step 8 for weeks. I know, I know. But my Sponsor was away at the beach, and Ive been busy with job/meetings etc. That and Im coming to conclusion I dont have many names to put on list besides family. I was a isolationist drunk, and most friends I have issues with we worked things out a long time ago. Maybe 1 ex-girlfriend is list worthy, but shes married with 2 kids now, so probably not. Anyways I plan on diving into this, maybe today if my Sponsor decides to show up at our Sunday meeting (usually not). Hes a good friend and we do good step work together when we do it, but hes super busy with work etc like I am, so he misses meetings all the time (yet another reason why sometimes I get annoyed at him piling on me for skipping a meet or 2).
Anyways, thx again. I hope to be on here more lately, I need SR in my life...Love you guys.
Anyways, sorry for writing so much, but thats where Im at.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Going backwards here....
Step 8 is from step 4, then we add institutions we might owe, all of the people should already be on there (unless it was someone we do owe $ to). Instead of being told to get to meetings daily, ask sponsor when you can continue in your step work!! Hold him accountable now.
Get to 9. That is where the freedom comes in!!
My sponsor and I discuss things, including meetings. You have over 3 months, so stop the daily meetings. Period. Start "practicing these principles in all of our affairs" and have a well-rounded life! That means one day of fun!!! Agree to disagree with those ego inflating people....it's about spirituality, not controlling another person. My opinion.
Try seeking another job before you give that two-week notice. Put in the action required to make changes in your life. For someone who hadn't worked for a long time, be grateful, 9 bucks an hour is awesome! Page 66-67. Other people are sicker than us. People lie. 10th and 11th step comes to mind here and learn about you. Keep being humble and grateful. Find out who you can help and be useful to right now. yeah, I do sound bossy again, sorry! Time for your sponsor and grand sponsor to use their spirituality to agree to disagree and figure out why they NEED you to do what is not possible. My sponsor's ego does get in the way at times, too. I just re-read your last response. How can your sponsor hold you to daily meetings if HE isn't showing up on Sunday? Sounds a bit hypocritical here.
When you have saved enough money to move out, your room mate will appear. Work the 11th step on this situation (that includes step 3 in it). Today you have a new Manager, and that is the power greater than you. And don't put money in that basket every day. You don't make enough money for that. The meeting was there before you came and if it's meant to stay, it will.
I'm living on less than $4 an hour at the moment and I still have money in the bank and just purchased a new laptop.....somehow it works.
You have work to do and I know you will get it done. Relax. You are sober today!! Enjoy this beautiful weather and do something nice for you!!!
All said with concern and love.
Hugs,
Step 8 is from step 4, then we add institutions we might owe, all of the people should already be on there (unless it was someone we do owe $ to). Instead of being told to get to meetings daily, ask sponsor when you can continue in your step work!! Hold him accountable now.
Get to 9. That is where the freedom comes in!!
My sponsor and I discuss things, including meetings. You have over 3 months, so stop the daily meetings. Period. Start "practicing these principles in all of our affairs" and have a well-rounded life! That means one day of fun!!! Agree to disagree with those ego inflating people....it's about spirituality, not controlling another person. My opinion.
Try seeking another job before you give that two-week notice. Put in the action required to make changes in your life. For someone who hadn't worked for a long time, be grateful, 9 bucks an hour is awesome! Page 66-67. Other people are sicker than us. People lie. 10th and 11th step comes to mind here and learn about you. Keep being humble and grateful. Find out who you can help and be useful to right now. yeah, I do sound bossy again, sorry! Time for your sponsor and grand sponsor to use their spirituality to agree to disagree and figure out why they NEED you to do what is not possible. My sponsor's ego does get in the way at times, too. I just re-read your last response. How can your sponsor hold you to daily meetings if HE isn't showing up on Sunday? Sounds a bit hypocritical here.
When you have saved enough money to move out, your room mate will appear. Work the 11th step on this situation (that includes step 3 in it). Today you have a new Manager, and that is the power greater than you. And don't put money in that basket every day. You don't make enough money for that. The meeting was there before you came and if it's meant to stay, it will.
I'm living on less than $4 an hour at the moment and I still have money in the bank and just purchased a new laptop.....somehow it works.
You have work to do and I know you will get it done. Relax. You are sober today!! Enjoy this beautiful weather and do something nice for you!!!
All said with concern and love.
Hugs,
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