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Step 3 in 90 days

Old 05-26-2012, 04:28 PM
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Step 3 in 90 days

Someone mentioned in another post that if you are still on step 3 and you're at 90 days, you are taking too long. I'm feeling a little paranoid I guess

Step One was a doozer for me, and I did everything my sponsor asked me to do, but I wasn't ready to admit that I was an alcoholic yet. We ended up moving on to Step 2, which was done quickly, and then step 3 which I've been on for several weeks now.

I just came back from being out of town for a week. Recently finished grad school, and an unemployed for the first time in 20 years. I am looking for a job, and it is highly likely that I will be making an out of state move in the next month. There is a LOT of stress in my life right now. Not just with not drinking, but with everything.

If I wasn't most likely moving in the next 30 days, I would at least start my 4th step. But I've seen people going thru their 4th step, and it's HARD. I don't know if I can take it, with everything else going on in my life right now. And even if I started it, I may not be able to finish it before I leave, or I may not be able to complete my 5th step in time.

Plus, my sponsor has A LOT on her plate as well, so doesn't always have the time to meet with me.

I haven't felt that I've been doing it too slow. I've approached each step very seriously, and that I don't want to half-as! it. But life is really unhappy right now, and I don't know if I should wait on my 4th step or not.

BTW, I'm at 71 days today. And also, my name is skip, and I'm an alcoholic. For those of you who have been following my posts, you know what a big deal that is for me to say!
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:34 PM
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Congrats on your sober time! Keep on keepin' on.
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:41 PM
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I am at 19 months and starting step 4 soon
Take your time. Don't drink. Well done.
Sapling is going to kill me for saying that, but it is what I believe.
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:41 PM
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First I want to say Congratulations on step one...That was a doozer but you did it...And none of them work without that one done right. Nice job skip. If I was moving within 30 days I wouldn't try to rush it through...Maybe do it with a new sponsor where ever you end up. That way you can find a sponsor you like and maybe just go through one through three quickly with them...And start on four...That would be my suggestion...I guess you could start on it...Knowing that you'll fifth step with someone else....That's your call...Talk to your present sponsor about it...Pray on it...And don't drink. I'm proud of you skip...You actually made my day.
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:42 PM
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I have no advice about the steps, but I'm glad you're working on your recovery.
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:46 PM
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One thing though, life is life. It doesn't stop for us to do our steps. Just do them at your own pace as long as you are not putting them off "coz yea don't wanna!".
Do you have to move now? Can you live where you are for a while? Do some part-time or just work to get by for a while?
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Hollyanne View Post
I am at 19 months and starting step 4 soon
Take your time. Don't drink. Well done.
Sapling is going to kill me for saying that, but it is what I believe.
What happened to launching out on a course of vigorous action after the third step prayer?
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:02 PM
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I haven't felt that I've been doing it too slow....

I really don't think there is any time frame at all.

If you move along to quickly & especially if you get into Step 4 prematurely, it has been my experience that is a mistake.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time View Post
I haven't felt that I've been doing it too slow....

I really don't think there is any time frame at all.

If you move along to quickly & especially if you get into Step 4 prematurely, it has been my experience that is a mistake.
I have to disagree with you...When I read those directions I see words like "At Once"...."Next"...,"Launched"...."Vigorous action"...Seems to have a little sense of urgency to me. My own experience I have seen more people relapse dragging their feet through those steps than not. There is a reason you see chronic relapsers that have been in the program for years...Do 1, 2 3 and out....1,2 3 and out. It's like a tragic dance.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:15 PM
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Congratulations on your sober time skip - and for giving your progress a little thought.

D
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:25 PM
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I agree re people who drag their feet......

the BB was written many yrs ago of course, and at that point, they did tend to move thru the steps more quickly. They were are the literature states, low bottom desperate drunks. As yrs have progressed, we have all learned a great deal....

If however when you encounter Step 4 and uncover all the garbage w/o a sufficient & solid spiritual foundation, one should be adequately prepared for what is about to be uncovered.

I have been thru the Step multiple times as well as taken people thru them many times.........just my experience.

I do not suggest taking your time sweet however. The literature in the 12 x 12 in Step 1 provides direction re this.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:33 PM
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I didn't use the 12 & 12 much...I read it...I did them as done in the Big Book. A lot of people got sober before that book ever came out. Some people swear by it...I'm not one of them. I had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps...That's all I wanted. It worked.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:39 PM
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OK, no problem. When I was sober for a few years, candidly the 12 X 12 did not make as much sense as it has in the last 5-7 yrs.

As you probably know, it was published in the mid 50's many years after the BB was, so a great deal was learned.

I have heard of the BB referred to as the owners manual & the 12 x 12 as the service manual. I like that.

Both serve a great purpose.....and seriously not looking for debate. Was only attempting to share my personal experience re taking steps quickly.

Best to you!!!
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:43 PM
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I don't feel like I've been dragging it out. And yes, I really do need to move. Like I said, I just finished grad school and I live in a small college town where there are no opportunities to work within my degree.

I just don't want to take on more than I can chew at this point. I'm in a place right now where every day is pretty hard. I'm just not sure that looking at everything that is wrong is the right thing to do RIGHT now. But I don't know. I will talk to my sponsor about it. We talked yesterday and she said, "just keep working step three"....and following thru on the commitments I made in step three. Praying, reaching out even when I don't feel like it, going to meetings even when I don't feel like it, not drinking, etc.

I guess this whole process is to help me get back in touch with myself, and rely on my higher power. Maybe I should listen to myself, and ask my HP for guidance.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:47 PM
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That's a good plan skip!
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Old 05-26-2012, 07:24 PM
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The steps can be worked quickly or slowly, but I didn't like sitting in pain.

I was taken through the steps quickly, the first time through (1-12 in 6-12 hours). I was told to do it fearlessly the first time, going back to step 3 (a decision to know I am under the care of a power greater than me) when I felt unsure. After this, steps 1-3 felt real. I didn't need to understand them at that time. Since then, my knowledge has grown. I've also been guided through the steps a bit more slowly and thoroughly 2 more times since then. The third time, I learned the sponsor's role.

The change that took place in me was indescribable.

I definitely had a spiritual experience which just keeps growing (with my working towards it, too).

It can be done many ways.

I wish you well!
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Old 05-26-2012, 07:34 PM
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I have a cousin in CA named Skip! Congrats on your 71 days!!!
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Old 05-26-2012, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by 12skiptomylue View Post
I don't feel like I've been dragging it out.
I wasn't talking about you skip...I mean I witnessed your first step...And I'm guessing that took the better part of those 71 days.....You held on tight. But that's good.....You did it right. I was talking about people I've seen or talked to that have taken too long going through them....And the results weren't good...I worked through the steps in under 90 days...And continue to live in 10 through 12. And I'm happy for the first time since I was a young kid. And I'm 52 years old.
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