choublak

Can it be done and how?

choublak

Sorry if more information is needed, I live in PA, my dad lives in SC and is saying he's going to buy a gun and shoot himself.

dbh

When my father was still alive, I directly called the police department in the town that he lived and had them check on him.

db

choublak

So I guess I have to look up the number for the local police department down there?

Ugh.

dbh

It's easier than you think. So many towns have websites now. You should be able to find it with a quick google search.

BTW, so sorry you're going through this :-(

db

choublak

Huh, turns out it might not even be necessary.

Me: I'm going to call 911 and have the police check on you
Him: No!! Don't do that! I'm not gonna do anything today. I'm fine. I'm not gonna do anything. Bye.

Spes

choublak,

This is the site I used to get local numbers when I needed a local police department to run a court service for me. The same numbers can be used to conduct what we call a "welfare check" on a resident.

USACOPS: Police Departments, Sheriffs' Offices, Officers, and Other Law Enforcement Agencies

(mods, I realize the TOS for ads but the site has value for welfare checks)

scrambled2012

I strongly believe, but don't know how to test without clogging the line unduely, but I would believe you can call 911 from anywhere and the folks can provide the proper responce with the proper agency no matter where the problem is. "They have connections" hahaha

Anappleaday

You absolutely can call 911 from somewhere else. My sister was visiting with our mother, her husband called and was not feeling well and not making sense, their call was disconnected and when she tried to call back he didn't answer. She called 911 from my mothers and they were able to connect to local dispatch to send police and an aid car.

choublak

Hmm okay. I just don't want to do any more "work" than what is absolutely necessary regarding this.

akrasia

What he's doing is unconscionable. Why are you still taking his calls? You can change your number and not get around to telling him the new number. Presumably he has your address and can send a letter/card if he wants to say hello. You are entirely justified to block this insanity. You have your own life to live.

This "I'm going to kill myself" crap has got to stop now. Here's what: write a letter to the police department of his town, general attention. Tell them your father's contact details and name the times in the last two months that he's threatened to kill himself. Tell them that in his latest threat he said he was buying a gun. Tell them that you've blocked his numbers because he always threatened, then backed down, and you were finding it extremely traumatic. Keep a copy of the letter for yourself.

That way your conscience is clean, and it's out of your hands. DONE.

choublak

Curious, what will the police department do with this info?

akrasia

They'll do their job. They'll go see him, assess whatever risk there is of his harming himself or others, and either offer counseling services or suggest he have in-patient care. They can't force him to check in somewhere unless, in their professional considered opinion, he's in imminent danger of hurting himself or others.

This is THEIR job. This situation is out of your control.

Lifewithouthim

The day my husband died (2 months ago), I was in Canada, he was in North Carolina. I was worried about him, had talked to him the night before and he mentioned he had been throwing up blood (3rd day detoxing and he was alone at our house). I urged him to call an ambulance and get to the hospital but he then said he was feeling a bit better. I had to leave it up to him to decide what to do since I was so far away. I worried about him but that was all I could do - and hope he was telling me the truth. The next day I was unable to reach him, so after trying for hours, I checked the hospitals (by phone) and when they had no record of him, I looked up the local NC police number, called them and asked them to do a 'wellness check'. They went right over. Unfortunately for my husband, they were too late. They had to break into the house and found his body.

At any rate, I was out of the country and I managed easily to get in contact with the sheriff's office. I could not have called '911' from there but it is easy, if you know where someone lives, to call the local authorities. Right after I found out that my husband died, I had to try to reach my sister-in-law in Texas to let her know - but though I found her address online, I could not find her phone number, so once again, I called the local police in her area (found their number online too), and they were able to go over to her house for me.

Justfor1

It sounds like his drinking is getting a bit out of hand. Probably best to go no contact at this point.

Looking4ward

I had to do this. My xAH was calling all his family and me, sobbing and telling everyone they could have what they wanted of his and that he loved them. He told me he had thrown his stuff out the window and he told his mother that his roommate had kicked him out. He told everyone "Thank you for everything you've done. Goodbye."

I called the local Police Station (he was living in a different city, Thank G!). They went and picked him up and brought him to the Emergency Psych ward. See... here's the thing, at least in NYS, they ask you very specific questions... "Do you want to hurt anyone?" "Do you want to hurt yourself?" if you answer yes to these questions, they are obligated to hold you 72hrs.

When I called the Psych ward the next day, he was all "Oh, I was just sleeping. Why did you think I was gonna kill myself?" BS! They can't hold you unless they think you're a threat to another or yourself. His Aunt ended up getting him out (Shame, shoulda stayed there) and the doctors said: "Typical alcoholic behavior."

No Kidding! Ask me how many times he ended up in the emergency psych ward - once for pulling a knife on me, another for calling the cops saying he'd raped me and gone insane after too much whiskey and coke - and no, that's not the drink I'm talking about.

Ai, the things we find out about the law and mental health institutes!

choublak

If you're talking to me, my dad is not an alcoholic. He's just "crazy".

Justfor1

Wow. I thought only alcoholics/addicts were capable of manipulation. I guess "normies" can do it also.

choublak

You guess? I don't know if that was supposed to be sarcasm, but I do tire of the generalization that manipulation and other behaviors are exclusive to alcoholics/addicts.

Tuffgirl

Choublak, I don't think is it a generalization here - I think its a supposition that we are talking about addictions on the friends & family of alcoholics forum.

And I don't think its sarcasm either, but your response sounded sarcastic. Is something else wrong here? I think you've had a lot of good responses about calling 911 from another state.