Someguy23

Didn't want to call it a relapse since I haven't actually decided to stop completely (yet). My original plan was to have one "cheat" day a week (with a cap on how much I can drink then), and I used it this week on sunday.

To be honest, I saw the slip-up coming. Friday night has been beer night since I was 17...

I had two beers mixed with an energy drink at dinner.

I didn't get drunk, and didn't feel like drinking more, but any way you look at it I had alcohol on a day I had decided I wouldn't... which implies I don't have as much control over my intake as I'd like.

Alcohol's gone from my system now but I'm still pretty wired from the caffeine so I'll try to do some work while I'm still up, but I'll have to think some more on this.

I just wanted to vent first.

Deserto

Hi Someguy,

I think most of us tried a thousand different combinations of "rules" (I know I did) but never found the combo that unlocked the secret to moderate or normal drinking.

For myself, after the gazillionth time blowing a set of rules that rarely lasted more than a week, I finally decided it was much simpler to simply not drink.

And what's the point of having two beers? You're in NY, right? Might as well just drop a twenty on the sidewalk.

I know you're not at the point where you're ready to quit, and that's alright. It seems you're on a good path, and it's good that you're recognizing that you might not have as much control as you thought, rather than thinking (as I often did after such game fouls) "if I could only find the right set of rules...."

Keep posting!

Oasis24

I've tried the "it's OK to have a piece of chocolate cake occasionally while on a diet" rule, but I end up eating the whole cake.

Dee74

welcome to SR Oasis

D

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Someguy. So your goal is to moderate? I certainly had to give that a few tries. I actually think "slip" is the right word in this case; I don't think you can call it a relapse unless you're trying to quit.

Good luck the effort to ratchet down the drinking. Like Oasis (welcome aboard, Oasis!), I was never able to make it stick for any length of time.

Oasis24

Thank you, Dee.

Michael66

It's good you've recognized the slip SomeGuy. Whenever I tried rules allowing nights off the interval between nights off gradually shortened and the amount I drank in the nights off gradually increased. You might want to watch out for that in your own moderation, but good luck with it - I know some can learn to moderate.

Someguy23

Thanks for the replies, I was pretty depressed last night.

I was able to cut down a lot a few months ago and stick to a set of rules. I only switched to the "cheat day" idea because I felt the old system was too permissive (max: 15/week, 6/day).

I've thought a bit about it, and I'll drop the cheat day idea. I actually don't think that wil work out.

Short term, I'll just put a limit of 6/week. I've kept to it this week (3 on sunday, 2 yesterday). It's the same maximal weekly intake as the day off idea, but it lets me relax with a beer on occasion.

Long term, I'll think some more about it...

Not exactly, my goal is to avoid having any negative consequences on my life due to alcohol.

If I can have that through moderation, great. Otherwise, I'll quit.

You know, this is actually (perhaps the only) thing I don't seem to have in common with most people on this forum.

I heard a lot of people say they don't see the point of 1-2 drinks, and that if they have one they'll have ten.

Personally, I do enjoy having 1-2 beers with dinner. As for drinking more than I intended to, that happened to me maybe 3-4 times in my life, and all of them when my drinking was at its worse. I've gotten drunker than anyone ever should be quite a few times, but 98% of those times, it was because I completely intended to drink myself stupid.

That being said, I was once interested in psychology and remember reading an article on alcoholism in which they disscussed different patterns of alcoholic drinking. The "1 becomes 10" drinker was only one of three patterns... and I remember my own drinking habits fit one of the models they described.

Sapling

This is interesting...An AA group in Toronto put this test together...Give it an honest try and see how you do...Let us know the result. I know I passed with flying colors.

20 Questions - Alcoholics Anonymous - Greater Toronto Area Intergroup

Someguy23

5/20, would have liked a 'maybe' option for some of those questions.

That being said, I'm perfectly aware I have a drinking problem. I wouldn't have joined this site if I didn't.

Sapling

You did a lot better than I did...No "maybe" options.

Someguy23

Well, I think I'm younger than you are, and as a single guy "working" as a grad student, some of those questions weren't as telling for me as they would have been for someone else (the ones about a home life or missing time at work, for instance)...

I would have said 'maybe' to "do you drink because you're shy?" (said yes), "has drinking affected your reputation?" (said yes) and "do you drink for self-esteem?" (said no).

MalkavianEmily

The same is true for me. I'm single and about to go back to university, so quite a few of the questions aren't relevant.
I have no idea whether my drinking has affected my reputation, if only because I don't know what it was... or is for that matter.

And yes, I had a slip today too.
I'd been sober for 7 days, when the people I was at a convention with decided that we should go for a pub lunch. I suggested somewhere else where we could get table service, but I didn't feel confident enough to say 'Uh, guys? Could we go somewhere else? I really don't want to go to a pub.'
Why? because they don't know I've quit. And because it would have raised questions I don't want to answer.
I was the last to order, so I found myself alone at the bar. I knew I had time for a pint without anyone noticing I'd been gone a while. It wasn't that good, and I barely noticed I'd had it despite not having eaten for 5 hours. It really wasn't worth it, was it?
So, at the meeting on Monday, I'll have been sober for 2 days rather than 10.

Sapling

Welcome MalkavianEmily...That's tough to go through at 7 days...I don't think I would have passed that test....I'd had to stay out of pubs for quite awhile. Get back at it...Why don't you start a NEW THREAD and introduce yourself...If you wish.

Dee74

I think we all wanted that - but as I said before...I kept moving the goalposts, both on my goals and what 'negative consequences' were..

Ok....you've moved them once now - I'd stick to that SG - either this works or it doesn't...don't waste twenty years on it like me.

I worked harder in Grad School than I did in any other job I had, lol...it's work. man.
never missed a day/s working on something because you were hungover, SG?

D

SoberRightNow

Heh, I remember years ago I took that test. I got 19/20 then went to the answers - if you get 3 or more, you are definitely an alcoholic

Still took about another 10 years to sink in.

Sapling

I did the same sh!t...I think I got all 20.

Dee74

Welcome MalkavianEmily

No matter what your score was, or which questions you feel didn't apply, you're obviously here @ SR for a reason...and it's good to have you with us

You'll find a lot of support here
D

hypochondriac

That's actually not a bad list Sapling! I know a lot of those things left me thinking either everyone is an alcoholic or I'm not because I don't do that one thing! There are lot's of different types of alcoholics and different reasons for quitting Someguy...I am desperately trying to remember what was going through my head in my early 20s when I know I was reading a book on alcoholism but never did anything about it. I'd actually got a handle on my drinking at that point and wasn't having any negative consequences but I can't remember what I was thinking that made me want to address it...

You are being honest here and very self aware. That's going to help you hugely. It will be really useful to have this stuff written down. You may move the goalposts around, you may do that 20 times and then try to justify it by saying 'okay, I couldn't stick to drinking x amount on a certain day but I never got drunk so therefore it's okay', but as long as you have the evidence you will be able to see it clearly. Sorry, I'm just a little jealous and wish I'd found this place a bit sooner.

And beer mixed with an energy drink...really? In the same glass?

You're on the right track for even thinking about this stuff SG so I hope you keep at it x

Hevyn

Hi Someguy - Glad you're still posting (venting) trying to figure things out. I wanted so much to be able to moderate, but it never worked for me. It wasn't fun anymore because I had to be so careful - and I always failed at holding it down to 2 or 3.

Greetings Oasis and MalkavianEmily! So happy you joined us.