pistolrx

I just joined again I have been having a hard time. Last time I texted when I was using and was not very nice. Thank you for letting me join again. I recently relapsed and my sister told my entire Home Group and network. I was going to tell them but she went ahead without asking me. I felt very bad about this I felt I should of told my network. She told me its a program of honest and that I don't know sh** about recovery! She has 29 years and I'm extremely proud of her. I on the other hand have been in and out of A.A. since 1988. However I do not react well to threats or abuse, maybe because in my younger years I was abused mentally and physically. I don't really know if A.A. can help me. Don't get me wrong I like many of the people there and have no problem with God. (I am only here through his grace) I have read all the books and liked them. I'm kinda screwed up now just asking for help. Thank You

Sapling

Welcome to SR pistolrx...I'm sorry for what you are going through...You'll find plenty of support here...I'm glad you came back.

Dee74

Welcome back pistolrx

I wouldn't have been too pleased if someone else 'outed' me either - as I understand AA, it's a programme of personal honesty and I think it was your responsibility to speak to the home group....

That being said - thats really not the most important issue right now.

You can get stuck on this and never go back to your home group...or you can swallow your pride and you can go back and get the help you obviously need right now.

I think it's a no brainer, pistol

D

EXM6

Meh, unfortunately sometimes -- we're mean. It happens, good on you for apologising.

I'm sorry to hear your sister went and told everyone if you really had intentions of telling them yourself. I understand that this could be extremely frustrating. I hope this doesn't discourage you from still using your network of people you have. People usually understand the bond between siblings and don't get involved so I wouldn't really worry about what other people think. If you have them, still reach out to them.

Glad you came back. It takes a special kinda person to come back where they may have made a mistake and own up to it.

Hevyn

I agree, pistolrx - that wasn't right of her, no matter how well meant.

Very glad you are back here and wanting to try again. Talking things over here always calmed me down and helped me see things more clearly.

Anna

I will add my agreement that your sister was way off base to 'report' you. Personal honesty is the issue and you should have been able to deal with the situation when and if you chose to.

I'm glad you found us.

sugarbear1

It's NOT her place to gossip. Her program needs to increase. MY opinion.

I'm glad you made it back!! Focus on you, that's all you can do. And stick with those who have a true spiritual program of recovery!

Can you find someone who truly understands and knows how to work Back to Basics? To take you through the steps quickly, the first time, more slowly the next times....it's an on-going process.....

The relief is real.

Peace,

akazia21

Welcome back, I too am back and have 9 days at this point. I find talking here really helps

tomsteve

glad ya liked what the big book said when ya read it. have ya put any thought into doing what it says to do?

lilac0721

welcome back, pistolrx! Folks here are so supportive. I am really sad to hear what your sister did. Honesty IS the crux of the program, but as Dee pointed out, it's personal honesty. Someone else can't take responsibility for your honesty. That's not right. And I also agree with Sugarbear. Regardless, don't let that stop you from trying. Everyone has their own journey. You came back and you are trying again. Please don't beat yourself up over not "getting it" right away. A lot of us haven't.

CarolD

Welcome again..

Please read page 552 in the Big Book...and follow directions re your sister.

sugarbear1

Pages 66-67........

CraigA

Pistolrx, welcome back! Try not to get too much in your head about what your sister did obviously she is not to happy with her self and wants to control yours but that is ok, she could only control you oif you allow it. The biggest thing you can do is show up anyway, people in 12 step meetings generally care and want to help you. The only way we can receive the help is if we are there in person. Pray for your sister in your prayers for two weeks like it says in the big book.

You said you read all the books what books? The twelve and twelve, big book of A.A.,N.A., I think they are meant to be read over and over, at least for me I still read them weekly to remind me of what I need to do and it helps. Go to the first paragraph of HOW it works and read that alone "chew" on that for a moment remember read what you are reading!

Again people with multiple years don't always mean quality it is just that quantity, how we work our program and what we want out of life is up to us on an individually basis. See why sometimes family can't always be helpful sometimes but not always they mean to be helpful but... . With every step we make it means the closer we are to being free from addiction! Keep steppin! God bless you don't give up hope!

2granddaughters

About time to commit to AA, not just be involved .

The difference is like a bacon & egg breakfast,

The chicken is involved and the pig is committed.


AA's "How It Works" says that "even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if the have the capacity to be honest"
My sponsor told me AA has a wrench to fit every "nut". It works for me when I work it.

All the best.

Bob R