Jaebee

A very good friend of mine decided he needed to go to rehab which I was very happy about. This is a very sad time for me since he will be away for 30 days, maybe more, but I just need some advice on how to be a good friend while he's away and when he gets back.
His father walked out on him, his sister and mother so it is a very sensitive time for him.
As a friend, what are some things that I can do to help him with his process? I want to be the best influence that I can for during and after. I want nothing but the best for him so all information is greatly appreciated!

Thank you,
Caring Friend

Dee74

Hi Jaebee

I would say just keep being a friend - be there for him - but let him work his own recovery - he's actually doing the best thing for himself getting himself together....I learned a lot that way during my own recovery

Have you checked out our Family and Friends forums too? You might find some interesting reading down there - I know you'll find support there as well as here.

Welcome to SR

D

Jaebee

Im still trying to figure out the site but thank you! I'll keep exploring

Dee74

You were too quick for me JaeBee
The Family and Friends forums are here:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information



D

soberhand

Hello Jaebee,

As a recovering alcoholic I can tell you this. It is a good thing that your friend can go to a rehab. I am trying to help my husband but we cannot afford rehab.

While he is there if there are visiting days, go. This will show your support. Do not give advise, just listen. When he needs to talk be there, when he wants to be alone don't take it personal. And by all means I know we have all heard it a millions times but, just take it one day at a time (IT REALLY WORKS). Focus on today only...don't think about tomorrow. Just be a good friend and he will love you for it. These things really helped me and still do.

My best to you both.
soberhand

Jaebee

Thank you so much. He's in florida and I'm in ny so its not easy to get down there. My neighbor went through this with her exboyfriend and she said he said he loved getting mail. I'm going to need a lot of stamps.

Sapling

I think it's awesome to have a friend like you. I went to rehab in Florida too....Is he in Hazledon? The thing with me is...When I got out of rehab....I didn't have any friends I could continue to hang out with.....They were all heavy drinkers like myself. Just be a friend there for him....He's lucky to have that. I have great friends now....All from AA.

Jaebee

Thanks sapling, I just hope he sees what you do so he knows that he can come home and have his family and few good friends. I smoke weed to help with my anxiety and to help me sleep. I'm not into pills so I figured I could go all natural. That is the only drug I've done with him but I think I may stop so he knows he's not alone...is that a good idea? Or will it seem like I'm rubbing it in his face like "I don't need rahab but you do"... do you know what I mean?

P.s sapling: is that your puppy in your pic? He's/she's adorable!

Jaebee

Dee thanks for the links they are full of info

tomsteve

my experience is i couldnt hang with people that were just smokin pot. that was asking the lord to lead me from temptation and walkin into it. eventually i would hit the joint one day, then shortly after curing cotton mouth with a 12 pack. then even further down the scale.

Sapling

Yeah...I wouldn't smoke weed around him...He has to clear his head...That won't help him at all. Do you know what town he is in.. in Florida?...Is he in for pills only?...Or pills and alcohol?

And yeah...That is my mutt...He's a trip and turns five on the 30th.

Jaebee

He's in tampa or somewhere like that. I'm not saying I'm going to smoke around him I'm wondering if quitting with him is a good idea to show hes not alone. I don't want hiim around anything at all, thats my last thought! He's in for both. I spoke to his mom today, she said she talked to him (today is day 2 of detox) and he seems to be doing really well so I deffinetly get to breath a sigh of relief!!!

Sapling

Yeah...If you can give it up for him...That would be awesome....You're a good friend....I don't think that kind of support would hurt him at all.

Sapling

The reason I asked is I live pretty close to a popular rehab here in Florida...A lot of people from up north come down here to go to it. I went to it. I was going to offer to go down and take him to a meeting after he gets two weeks...But Tampa is pretty far north from me. They have good rehab and recovery in this state...I'm sure he's in a good place.

Jaebee

I'd give up anything for him, I've been friends with him since the 7th grade, he's an angel and would do anything for anyone. That would have been great! Your too kind! I've heard nothing but great things about floridas rehab centers so I'm not too worried.

Thank you so much!!!

Sapling

You shouldn't be...And like I said...He's a lucky man to have a friend like you....Keep us up to date on how he's doing...I'm glad you found this site...You guys can both use it.

Jaebee

I deffinetly will and again, thank you so much your a great person and I'm happy to have your responces! I will update you as I am.

sissy07

Your friend is very, very lucky to have you! No advice - just an observation. You sound great!

sugarbear1

I'd give up that pot. See how things are after that. I wouldn't send a ton of letters, he's only going in for 30 days and he needs to focus on his recovery. Stand by him, it's wonderful. Going to an Open AA meeting and hitting some Al Anon meetings would also be supportive and would help you to understand more.

I wish you both well,

Jaebee

Well its day three of detox!!! His mother and sister went away for the weekend to relieve some of their stress which I deffinetly think they need. They will be back tuesday and I am going to help around the house and just hangout with the family for a bit. SUPER EXCITED TO HEAR FROM HIM!!!!! He'll be done with detox by then so I'm praying for the best!

Thank you sissy!!!
Sugar bear: I had thought about that, I don't want to make him home sick and want to leave so I'm debating on whether to send any letters at all, but then again I think it'd be comforting to him... Maybe just one or two???

To everyone with pet pics: THEY ARE ADORABLE!! I'm going to post mine haha :P