Hjandro

I have not gave into his endless texts, the begging and pleading, the promises (that i know will be broken), and the lies that he has been staying clean in the past few days. A day may not seem long to some, but to others it seems like a lifetime. This is the longest i have gone in a while without replying to him or taking him back and for that, i am proud of myself

I have really been listening to all of your advise and putting my wants and needs first for once in a loooooong time. I know me and my children deserve better and i believe that with alot of work, i will someday be able to provide them with that. I finally realized how different I have become, when i was just focused on how different he had become. People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love but the truth is, losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that your special too, is equally as painful.

Thank you all for your kind words and the new hope you have given me. I'm so thankful to have found this site.

lesliej

yes.

keep to the sacred process of remembering the gifts of your own self/spirit

open your eyes and regain your own beautiful perspective on the world around you

SuzyMarie

Hjandro, I understand how difficult it is to change our own patterns. It does get easier with time. Stay strong! However, be aware that they usually do not give up easily! 6 months after I asked my ex to leave, he is STILL pursuing me in some way or another. I weakened a few weeks ago and thank goodness I quickly came to my senses. It did not take long to be reminded of WHY I made the decision in the first place! It is crazy making.

Hjandro

O i know they dont give up! This has been a 5 year battle on and off....the longest i stayed away was the 2nd year for 8 months (the first year of our daughters life, sadly) but that was when it was just coke and pain pills, after i took him back and believed the lies it was heroin that came along with jail, abuse and stealing from me and my family (the most recent, stealing from his daughters piggy bank).

The most difficult part is the almost 4 year old daughter and 6 month old son growing up with all this and the confusion it brings. But i think we will be ok this time. I need to let go.

CanfixONLYme

Hjandro - yes... it's insane how our addicts will keep trying the SAME tactics even after they have been told by us stop. they pursue what they "think" THEY want regardless of what others feel. No boundaries, no respect ... Just their addiction behavior talking (with some deep seeded controlling issues thrown in).

I hope your ex finally leaves you alone - I know if mine really cared about MY happiness, he would but of course - its not about what I want/need in his eyes.

Ps - awesome you did not respond too!! That's really really good

Hjandro

Its hard but its getting easier each hour that passes.

Ill get on and post all over this site every 2 min if i have to! lol

cc88

why not just block all the texts and stuff? You dont have to choose to not reply if you dont get em in the first place!

just sayin'

Hjandro

Because then when its in court for our kids he will use it against me and say i made myself unable to contact.