Hjandro

Hi again,

So I havent spoke with my on/off bf for a few days until tonight when i decided to take everyones advise i got on here and just say no to him and goodbye for good.
He began to tell me sorry and that without me around he just messes up, which, with me around he obv does too since he lies and steals from me, his daughter my mom etc... and that last weekend he DIDNT shoot up, ALL HE DID WAS TAKE XANAX. I said you know better than that, why start that habit back up now in the middle of this? And he said one xanax here and there wont hurt me, ive been stressed and i could get any doctor to presribe it to me anyways. First of all, im stressed, im mom and dad to 3 kids while he does his own thing. Second, i highly doubt that any dr in their right mind would do that unless he lied, right?
He also has been taking ambien to help sleep and doesnt find that to be addicting and thinks its ok to take it with everything else he is on and the occasional heroin still. Is he just a zombie now? I dont get how he is still existing and going to work and functioning....
He hung up on me because i said yea thats just what you need to be doing, taking xanax among other things and still shooting up. (which i know was mean but i cant get through to him and its frustrating) then he said im not shooting up anymore and hung up. But his last relapse (very noticable one on his arm) was just 3 weeks ago so i dont believe it anyways.
Im just so upset and confused and really should be used to it at this point but i dont understand "i want to quit, i hate this" to "i think its ok to take xanax, suboxone, ambien, and maybe heroin still"

dollydo

He is an addict, he is just doing what addicts do, minamize, deflect and LIE.

You will continue to get burned if you do not take your hands out of the fire. Go no contact,do the right thing for your children.

Kindeyes

There's a whole lot of focus in your post on what he's up to. What are you doing? Try this......respond to this post without using the word "he" or "him" in it. Tell us what you are doing to make things better for you (again without using he or him).

You may think I'm nuts for asking this.....but until you begin focusing on you.....nothing will change. He'll still be an addict and you'll still be addicted to him. It's just the way it works.

The first time I ever went to an Al-Anon meeting, a lady asked me "What are you going to do for you today?" I looked at her like she had just grown horns. I had absolutely no idea why she asked that and I was so caught up in my son's addiction that THAT was the only thing I could think about. Years later......I understand why she asked me that question. And it was the best dang question anyone's ever asked me.

gentle hugs
ke

Hjandro

I can get it off of my mind until i get a text which is usually 2-3 times an hour. Then its just there again.

dollydo

Easy fix, block his number, no more text messges.

Hjandro

your right....thanks