bluebelle

I could use some positive thoughts and some help with letting go. My AM (dual diagnosis--bipolar and drug addiction) is visiting my grandparents for a couple of weeks. It's really not a good situation. They are elderly, and can't really take care of themselves. She is very needy and acts like she is unable to take care of herself. I live a long ways away and have my own commitments. So, I can't go there to rescue anybody. I don't even know if she has made it there safely. I don't want to get involved in the drama. I'm afraid if I call and check on everybody, then I will get involved. I want to know everything is o.k., but most likely there will be a lot of chaos. So, I guess I need help with letting go. I'm worried about the safety of my grandparents. I'm afraid that either they or my AM will not be able to handle this visit. I'm also afraid that if things get really messy, other members of my family will try to get me involved to fix the situation. Sometimes, when things get really bad, my family thinks that somehow I can help my AM. I have to remind them that just because she gave birth to me doesn't mean I have any control over her actions.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really just stressed and "on edge," waiting for the next shoe to drop.

dbh

Dear Bluebelle:

I have no words of wisdom, but am sending positive thoughts and strength your way.

When I have been in similar situations, I say the serenity prayer often. I also try to accept my powerlessness and put my loved ones in the hands of their high power.

I try to make it clear to others what I can and cannot do (and repeat if necessary)


Best Wishes,

db

bluebelle

Thank you. I prayed today, and it really helped. You are right about reaffirming what I can and cannot do.

There is really so little that I can do where my AM is concerned. She has been using drugs since before I was born. I feel guilty for not doing more. It's hard for me to understand why my grandparents didn't do more to protect me from my AM when I was a child. So, I guess I have a combination of feelings. That's why I advocate for children so much who are in addicted homes. The pattern of denial by the family members can lead to children not getting proper care.