crazybabie

just when I think I am doing better AH textes me this morning and says I love you baby, I responded with I love you too but I realized last night that love is not enough too keep us together. (All this, is true)

here is why I am mad at myself, he asked what am I doing today, I told him calling a lawyer... I am not calling a lawyer today as I went back through looking I asked myself why did I send that and the only thing I can come up with
trying to control what I can not control.

I thought I was passed that... not sure what I should do now any opinions? Would you let him know you were trying to do what you knew you couldn't and had just realized that or tell him nothing?

This stuff is so insane...

Kindeyes

I do understand it. I have done it (in one variation or another) and yes.....it's the same kind of tactic the addict uses on us. It's the old fight fire with fire theory.

These are behaviors that are learned from each other and habits are hard to break. BUT what is really really really exciting is that you recognized it!!!!! I'll bet there was a day when you would have said something you didn't mean and it never would have occurred to you that it was something you shouldn't have done. So.....that recognition.....in and of itself is progress.

Give yourself some credit here!

gentle hugs
ke

crazybabie

KE, your right before I would never have even realized what I had done I did decide that if I expect honesty I should give honesty just because he doesn't own up to what he does should not mean I shouldn't. I know I get no honesty from him what I meant by if I expect honesty is to behonest with myself I felt the need to be honest with him.

YearForMe

and/or.....you could really call a lawyer just to see what your options are.

I'm guessing he ignored your response.?

crazybabie

Anvil, I had been doing very good at not responding to his text unless it was something we had to deal with together such our recent tax audit. I am gonna look back later and see if I
can figure out why I did respond that way or maybe not try and analyze why and just be thankful I did recognize that I did.

YFM, I have talked to an attorney within the last year and know my options he did respond back asking me not to contact an attorney and honestly I am not ready for that yet.