Drove to Another State to Buy Alcohol
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 65
Drove to Another State to Buy Alcohol
I really need some help. Yesterday (Sunday), the liquor stores in my state were closed. Sundays are always terrible days for me if I don't have enough alcohol. I did buy some extra on Saturday, which I drank most of. I had one pint of vodka to get me through Sunday. I felt like crap in the morning, so I thought I would just drink a bit of it at around 6 am. Fast forward to about 8 am, I polished off the entire bottle. Then I got the idea that I could drive 80 miles into a neighboring state that sells liquor on Sunday and buy it there. Low and behold at around 1 pm, I'm cruising down the highway to buy more booze. I picked up a 750 ml bottle of vodka and went home and drank that down by about 8 pm.
I am so ashamed today. Going to those lengths to get booze is really EXTREME. I have been drinking fairly steadily (each night) unbeknown to my partner, but with the quantity I drank last night, the wheels came off a bit and we got into a bit of an argument. I was able to hold it together, but know that if I drink in that quantity again, I will go back to where I was a year ago. A year ago, my partner could not stand me. I was drinking all the time (much more) and was always either the irritable-drunk or hungover and irritable. I stopped for about 3 months then started little by little again. I know I cannot control my drinking, and recognize the warning signs that have presented themselves along the way.
I have such a hard time of just getting over the physical symptoms for the first couple of days. Each day seems to go on forever and I feel like s$it. I know that I could erase this feeling with one good chug from the bottle. I just can't live like this anymore. I am afraid of what it will do to my family and kids.
Any support or advice is greatly appreciated.
I am so ashamed today. Going to those lengths to get booze is really EXTREME. I have been drinking fairly steadily (each night) unbeknown to my partner, but with the quantity I drank last night, the wheels came off a bit and we got into a bit of an argument. I was able to hold it together, but know that if I drink in that quantity again, I will go back to where I was a year ago. A year ago, my partner could not stand me. I was drinking all the time (much more) and was always either the irritable-drunk or hungover and irritable. I stopped for about 3 months then started little by little again. I know I cannot control my drinking, and recognize the warning signs that have presented themselves along the way.
I have such a hard time of just getting over the physical symptoms for the first couple of days. Each day seems to go on forever and I feel like s$it. I know that I could erase this feeling with one good chug from the bottle. I just can't live like this anymore. I am afraid of what it will do to my family and kids.
Any support or advice is greatly appreciated.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by melberholtz 
Going to those lengths to get booze is really EXTREME.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
I also went to embarrassing lengths to get alcohol. The good thing is that you are here and you know that you need to quit. Are you ready? For me the negatives to drinking eventually outweighed the positives to the point that I just couldn't bring myself to drink anymore. Are you going to meetings? Do you have any support? Maybe you could go to your doctor and get advice and help from him if you're having trouble with withdrawals.
The main thing is that you CAN DO IT. I did it and I have the worst will power in the world-and I did it by posting on here constantly and making some pretty important changes in my life, like not going to bars anymore, and changing my job and going back to school. You need a new focus in your life to replace the high you get from booze. It is a long hard road, we all know it. But you can do it!
Do whatever you can to make your sobriety your number one priority; you have to be selfish right now and put your health above everything.
The main thing is that you CAN DO IT. I did it and I have the worst will power in the world-and I did it by posting on here constantly and making some pretty important changes in my life, like not going to bars anymore, and changing my job and going back to school. You need a new focus in your life to replace the high you get from booze. It is a long hard road, we all know it. But you can do it!
Do whatever you can to make your sobriety your number one priority; you have to be selfish right now and put your health above everything.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by Sapling
Welcome melberholtz...I used to do that. Question is...What lengths are you willing to go to....to not have to do it again.
The length I am willing to go to right at this moment is not to drink right this very second, then the next and the next. Right now I can't even manage to think "One day at a time." That just freaks me out. I have to stay focused on right now.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: London
Posts: 15
Drinking is such a downward spiral. Drink then feel ill, then drink some more to stop feeling ill, etc, etc. This is one of the things that has shocked me into dedicating myself to getting sober. My rational brain knows I can't take that first drink because then it loses all power over what happens next. When I am drunk I never want to sober up because it is like crashing back to earth from a great height. I know it will hurt and I will have to deal with all the regret and shame. Much better to not have that first drink and look for natural ways to make yourself feel good.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Hey melberholz,
Have you tried quitting before? In my experience the first night without the alcohol is the hardest. The voice telling me to buy booze is louder than any other. Infact, it's the only thought I have on the first eveing and I dread going to bed withouth it. Maybe set a goal of not drinking tonight? Take it second by second, minute by minute. Don't buy booze. The sun WILL set. You might not sleep and the night might be long and hellish, but the sun WILL rise, tommorrow things will seem a little easier and set a new goal.
Have you tried quitting before? In my experience the first night without the alcohol is the hardest. The voice telling me to buy booze is louder than any other. Infact, it's the only thought I have on the first eveing and I dread going to bed withouth it. Maybe set a goal of not drinking tonight? Take it second by second, minute by minute. Don't buy booze. The sun WILL set. You might not sleep and the night might be long and hellish, but the sun WILL rise, tommorrow things will seem a little easier and set a new goal.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
I did that, too. I discovered if I put the same energy from procurring, imbibing and recovering, into complete abstinance, I couldn't go wrong. And, it has worked.
What else works for me is thinking that first drink through to the end and the torment and misery it'll bring.
Welcome to the forum, I understand completely what you're going through, as I'm sure many others here do too.
Best to you.
What else works for me is thinking that first drink through to the end and the torment and misery it'll bring.
Welcome to the forum, I understand completely what you're going through, as I'm sure many others here do too.
Best to you.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
I have such a hard time of just getting over the physical symptoms for the first couple of days. Each day seems to go on forever and I feel like s$it. I know that I could erase this feeling with one good chug from the bottle.
As you know a drink will make the physical symptoms go away, but only for a few hours. It sounds like you are circling the drain, get some medical help so that you can get past the physical symptoms.
As you know a drink will make the physical symptoms go away, but only for a few hours. It sounds like you are circling the drain, get some medical help so that you can get past the physical symptoms.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Only 2 states have kept this law in order closing liquor stores on sunday... until the one that I live in just made it legal for them to open yesterday for the first time! It has been a bit of weird feeling. I too would drive to the bordering state on sundays constantly and buy alcohol. I would use the excuse that it was a "pleasant" drive and that I could do my other shopping there and take a walk on the beach. Needless to say I wouldn't spend much time at the beach because I'd race home to get drunk. I drove there in massive snow storms... sped there because the stores were going to close and I was running out of time. Not to mention it's about an 80 mile round trip on non highway roads that cost me a ton of gas. I always would think to myself... "Man I wish they would do away with this stupid law so that I can go to the local guy!" Well... that just happened. I had a slight tinge yesterday to go buy my usuall since now I didn't have to go anywhere! My AV winked and smiled at me and said "This is what you've been waiting for!" It was cunning and persuasive... I had to fight it off. I had to think about how I would have felt this morning and what effect it would have on the people around me. I woke up this morning and the AV was silent. I thanked god and came on this site to read for a while.
I'm not sure what sort of advice would help. All I do know is that it DOES get easier as time goes on and you learn to live without it. I always thought people just said that to make themselves feel better but it is true. Listening to and reaching out to others with this problem has helped me immensly... perhaps you can do the same?
I'm not sure what sort of advice would help. All I do know is that it DOES get easier as time goes on and you learn to live without it. I always thought people just said that to make themselves feel better but it is true. Listening to and reaching out to others with this problem has helped me immensly... perhaps you can do the same?
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,894
welcome to SR melberholtz.
Originally Posted by melberholtz
...but then the alcoholic voice starts seeding my brain with misinformation.
Having a good recovery action plan nurtures my endeavors to stay healthy. Continuing your participation here at SR would be a nice start to a good recovery action plan. You can also add to your plan by getting support from family, friends, support groups like AA, addiction counselors and so on.
Information about the AV can be found: Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT). You can purchase the book for the full understanding of the AVRT online cheep.
Hang in there, it dose get better with sobriety.
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