112408forever

So I just broke up with my now xabf. I knew it was over a long time ago but never brought myself to do it. He just got out from rehab today. I was really looking forward to feeling free and liberated. I thought I would feel so much more happier and empowered. But I feel really bad. It was really hard to do, although I didnt hesitate. I know this is the right choice for me, but I didnt expect to feel this guilty and sad about this big chapter of my life being over. I didnt think I would cry and I did. I am tearing while I type this and I dont even know why. Now I am making myself confused..

Also, I have been talking to an old friend who I had started to have strong feelings for. Right after we broke up and I got home my phone rang and I was really hoping it was the new guy, so I guess that shows where my heart is at?

I don't know....

gerryP

I don't know if it's telling "where your heart is" but I think I would want to explore why I was wanting to jump right into a new relationship, the nano second I walked in the door from ending a relationship.

112408forever

It's not that Im "wanting" to jump into a relationship. I was really excited and looking forward to being alone and working on me. Which I still am and I will do. I did not want to get into a relationship/fling/anything with anyone for a longgg time. This old friend of mine has been so supportive through everything and I have developed such strong feelings. I havent even seen him yet, we just talked on the phone because I didt want to see anyone while I was still in a relationship. It came as a big shock to me that I could even feel anything for anyone after what I've been through. It was the last thing I ever expected. And even though I am having feelings for him the last thing I want to do is rush into a new relationship. I am just confused about my feelings of sadness. I was so happy to be free and now I just feel really bad.

And when I walked in the door I felt very sad. I guess I said that it told me where my heart was because even though I was feeling upset I wasnt hoping it was my ex trying to get back together. Which made me realize I did not regret my decision. I was not hoping the new guy would call to start a relationship that second, I was hoping it was him to get words of encouragement and support.

Pelican

What is your plan for working on you?

What will you do for YOU today?

sewmad

You are allowed to have grief at the end of any relationship, and as a partner of an Alcohol I carry alot of guilt and anger but heaps and heaps of grief, for the man I couldnt help.
Al anon can help alot....learning that "for today I ......"
For me its 'For today I am taking care of me' I have spent too much time 'trying' to make my relationship work, thinking I was battling my partner but really I was losing against alcohol. So its about me now.

112408forever

Today I am going on a day trip Niagara falls with my dad and his friend who just recently had a break up with her ABF. I thought I would feel better this morning but I feel worse. He was finally the nicest guy that I always wanted the day he came out, but it was too late I've been crying all morning, I don;t know why, its confusing me. I am also going to get out of town from tues-fri to see my grandparents, aunts and cousins- it will be good to have some much needed family time, some support and time away to clear my head. Is it normal to feel this way even if you know you made the right decision?

Buffalo66

The sadness sounds perfectly normal, Alcoholism or not.

The guilt is also normal. It is grief.

Give yourself the time. I would also say, be careful not to jump into a new thing.
You need to get clear for yourself first.

DefofLov

I know you are sad now, but time heals all. Give it time and you'll heal and grow from this situation.