Anon12

Ok, I'm clearly rehashing everything at the moment as my ABF makes plans to move out. I'm feeling bad that I withdrew from him in terms of wanting to have sex, when he was not drinking. Fair enough no one finds a drunk attractive but although I am very much in love with my ABF, when he seemed to be not drinking, i was so hurt, i found myself avoiding sex, not as punishment but I felt almost to protect myself. Does this make sense to anyone? Appreciate this is a bit sensitive but I'm now feeling bad about that along with everything else....

Katiekate

It makes absolute sense. When I am wounded by someone the last thing I want is to be close to them in that way. I think it's pretty reasonable.

Sometimes when he was sober, my x would hug me, i would shake, he would ask me , why are you shaking, I never told him, I didn;t even trust him enough to share with him how much pain I was in.

Anon, that list of things you have in your head of things you should have done, who's list is that???

Puli50

It makes total sense! My ABF is always drunk when he is not working so we never have sex (my choice). He says I am sick! My point is that after so many hurtful words are spoken, any normal person does not feel loving. When my ADF is sober he pretends like everything is ok. It isn't. The hurt is still there. Please don't feel bad about your withdrawal, as you said yourself, it was self protection, a perfectly normal response.