Daughter on Heroin + Meth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
Daughter on Heroin + Meth
My daughter who is turning 23 tomorrow has been a heroin addict for 4 years now. In and out of treatment. I even tried to detox her several times. Nothing has worked. She has done it all to get her drugs so i dont really need to go into detail. She has 2 felonies from heroin possession. She recently went to jail for domestic violence and trespassing. She left Washington state to LA before she went to court. Im assuming she will have a warrant after her court date on the 23rd. Not sure if the cops find out she has a warrant in washington state while shes in LA if they would extradite her from LA for something as petty as that?
Just this past month i found out she was using meth and has been for 6 months now. she is showing signs of meth psychosis and its saying crazy things.
Last week she ended up freaking out and drove to los angeles from Washington state to be a junky on the streets. She didnt even say goodbye to me or give me a phone call. She did leave a note to her mom saying that tell dad i love him and that he did everything he could for me. I guess she hustled her way down there on no money. As soon as she got down there she went to a library and posted on facebook to only come out to find her car towed. All her belongings were in it. Now, shes sleeping on the streets. She has never been to LA except to disney land. In the week she has been there she has been robbed and had water poured on her. She thinks she can get her car back. I am not willing to help her.
She calls me up, and starts yelling at me that she thinks me and her mom paid for her x boyfriend to go down to LA. She thinks she sees him. She tells me that i will never see her ever again. Just 2 days ago she said she would come home in a week if she couldn't get her car back!
That was before she got $100 from her mom wired to her. She had convinced her to send money so she could get a motel and get her drivers license. But she obviously bought meth with it since she called me up later that nite all psychotic telling me i will never see her again.
I dont enable her. So please no lectures.
i dont know what to do? I need help. PLEASE dont tell me all i can do is NOTHING and WAIT she needs to want it. I understand all that but she is homeless in LA now so far away from home. I dont know if people pull themselves from where shes at? She seems pretty far gone.
I know she needs to get help and that she needs to want it. I already know all this since i have dealt with this for 4 years now. However, she is schizophrenic from the meth and needs help( meth psychosis?). I feel like if i dont do anything she wont get better and will just die on the streets.
I am entering into my senior year in engineering in the fall and i cant stop since im currently $30,00 in debt for school loans. So, i dont have any money until i graduate and get a good high paying job ad can afford a nice treatment center. but i want to get her help. I live in washington state and shes now in LA. I feel helpless. Even if i did go there i doubt she would go home with me. What can i do? Please dont say nothing! because i have seen the situation deteriorate and i dont think she will ever come home. Can i have her committed?
Sorry, for all the questions.
Just this past month i found out she was using meth and has been for 6 months now. she is showing signs of meth psychosis and its saying crazy things.
Last week she ended up freaking out and drove to los angeles from Washington state to be a junky on the streets. She didnt even say goodbye to me or give me a phone call. She did leave a note to her mom saying that tell dad i love him and that he did everything he could for me. I guess she hustled her way down there on no money. As soon as she got down there she went to a library and posted on facebook to only come out to find her car towed. All her belongings were in it. Now, shes sleeping on the streets. She has never been to LA except to disney land. In the week she has been there she has been robbed and had water poured on her. She thinks she can get her car back. I am not willing to help her.
She calls me up, and starts yelling at me that she thinks me and her mom paid for her x boyfriend to go down to LA. She thinks she sees him. She tells me that i will never see her ever again. Just 2 days ago she said she would come home in a week if she couldn't get her car back!
That was before she got $100 from her mom wired to her. She had convinced her to send money so she could get a motel and get her drivers license. But she obviously bought meth with it since she called me up later that nite all psychotic telling me i will never see her again.
I dont enable her. So please no lectures.
i dont know what to do? I need help. PLEASE dont tell me all i can do is NOTHING and WAIT she needs to want it. I understand all that but she is homeless in LA now so far away from home. I dont know if people pull themselves from where shes at? She seems pretty far gone.
I know she needs to get help and that she needs to want it. I already know all this since i have dealt with this for 4 years now. However, she is schizophrenic from the meth and needs help( meth psychosis?). I feel like if i dont do anything she wont get better and will just die on the streets.
I am entering into my senior year in engineering in the fall and i cant stop since im currently $30,00 in debt for school loans. So, i dont have any money until i graduate and get a good high paying job ad can afford a nice treatment center. but i want to get her help. I live in washington state and shes now in LA. I feel helpless. Even if i did go there i doubt she would go home with me. What can i do? Please dont say nothing! because i have seen the situation deteriorate and i dont think she will ever come home. Can i have her committed?
Sorry, for all the questions.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR. This is a great place to find support but you may also hear some of the things you don't want to hear. Please....take what you need and leave the rest.
I understand the desparation you are feeling. My son is homeless.....living on the streets of Tacoma. He is a meth and heroine addict. He has been through treatment four times-- two out patient and two in patient. But until something clicks deep within him.....it won't stick until he's ready to stop.
There is nothing sadder to me than the cries of a parent watching their child spiral down in addiction. There is no more helpless feeling. I do understand.
Personally, I deal with my son's addiction by going to Nar-anon and Al-anon meetings. Step One states: We admitted we were powerless over the addict and that OUR lives had become unmanageable. I committed to this program once I reached the absolute bottom of my despair. My life HAD become unmanageable. I was unable to sleep or eat. I got sick. Very sick. I have had all of my descending and 1/2 of my transverse colon removed. I was going down with him and my health problems were affecting my daughter, my husband, my mother, my siblings, my employees. My health problems were caused by extreme anxiety, lack of sleep, and poor eating habits. All a result of my life spiraling out of control as I tried to control something that wasn't within my control in the first place....my son's addiction.
You've asked for a limited response and I am going to honor that request. But others may not.
I also live in Washington State. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
gentle hugs
ke
I understand the desparation you are feeling. My son is homeless.....living on the streets of Tacoma. He is a meth and heroine addict. He has been through treatment four times-- two out patient and two in patient. But until something clicks deep within him.....it won't stick until he's ready to stop.
There is nothing sadder to me than the cries of a parent watching their child spiral down in addiction. There is no more helpless feeling. I do understand.
Personally, I deal with my son's addiction by going to Nar-anon and Al-anon meetings. Step One states: We admitted we were powerless over the addict and that OUR lives had become unmanageable. I committed to this program once I reached the absolute bottom of my despair. My life HAD become unmanageable. I was unable to sleep or eat. I got sick. Very sick. I have had all of my descending and 1/2 of my transverse colon removed. I was going down with him and my health problems were affecting my daughter, my husband, my mother, my siblings, my employees. My health problems were caused by extreme anxiety, lack of sleep, and poor eating habits. All a result of my life spiraling out of control as I tried to control something that wasn't within my control in the first place....my son's addiction.
You've asked for a limited response and I am going to honor that request. But others may not.
I also live in Washington State. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
It is such a helpless feeling. Many of us on here, unfortunately, can relate. It helps me to feel prepared to offer resources in case my son calls looking for help. Perhaps you can get some names and phone numbers of agencies, homeless shelters, detoxes near where she is so that when she calls you'll be able to give her the information.
I, too, don't understand how someone could dig themselves out of a hole that deep, but I have read many stories on here of people who have been in that situation and have found their way back. It is possible.
You and your daughter are in my prayers.
I, too, don't understand how someone could dig themselves out of a hole that deep, but I have read many stories on here of people who have been in that situation and have found their way back. It is possible.
You and your daughter are in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 134
like many of us you have come here probably with a distant hope that someone will give you advice that will help you to help your daughter but as Kindeyes has said, until something clicks deep within her no treatment will stick.
My son is a heroin addict, homeless and at the moment living in a tent. He has spent 18 months in jail (the last three were in a penitentiary). Came out clean and managed to stay that way for 8 months. He relapsed last spring and has struggled with periods of success and failure ever since. He willingly went to a faith based rehab at the end of January. That is where he has been but left on Monday. He tells me he is clean and has gotten a job that starts tomorrow. When he called and told me he had left the treatment center I agreed to give him a ride the next day to pick up his stuff because they only hold it for three days. I gave him a meal, bought him a flashlight/lantern and a backpack and gave him a ride back to where he is staying. The only thing he had asked for was the ride the rest I offered. We prayed together when I dropped him off and I pray for him daily. I also attend a weekly Nar Anon meeting. Some of what I hear I don't agree with so I just leave it there, there is a lot I find helpful though. I know there are many here who would read me the riot act for helping my son at all but it's no one's call but mine.
I have set boundaries and have told him that as long as he is seeking sobriety I will help him in ways that are healthy for him and healthy for ME. We haven't always agreed on what those are, primarily when he is using he becomes unreasonable. Last fall he begged to come home, that is a firm boundary that I will not budge on. One of the things that I chose to keep from Nar Anon is this. I did not cause my son to become and addict, I cannot cure his addiction, and I cannot control it either. I have to accept it and have had to learn to deal with it for my own sanity. In Nar Anon people refer to a "higher power". My higher power is Jesus Christ, he is alive and guides my every step. This journey has been a difficult one for sure but He has been with me every step of the way and is also walking along side my son. I pray daily for wisdom and strength. I believe that God has given me both in good measure. I love my son desperately and take great comfort in the knowledge that God does too. I don't know what tomorrow holds but for today I am thankful that my son is alive and is fighting his addiction the best way he can for today. One day at a time.
spend some time here, there is a lot of wisdom on these boards.
My son is a heroin addict, homeless and at the moment living in a tent. He has spent 18 months in jail (the last three were in a penitentiary). Came out clean and managed to stay that way for 8 months. He relapsed last spring and has struggled with periods of success and failure ever since. He willingly went to a faith based rehab at the end of January. That is where he has been but left on Monday. He tells me he is clean and has gotten a job that starts tomorrow. When he called and told me he had left the treatment center I agreed to give him a ride the next day to pick up his stuff because they only hold it for three days. I gave him a meal, bought him a flashlight/lantern and a backpack and gave him a ride back to where he is staying. The only thing he had asked for was the ride the rest I offered. We prayed together when I dropped him off and I pray for him daily. I also attend a weekly Nar Anon meeting. Some of what I hear I don't agree with so I just leave it there, there is a lot I find helpful though. I know there are many here who would read me the riot act for helping my son at all but it's no one's call but mine.
I have set boundaries and have told him that as long as he is seeking sobriety I will help him in ways that are healthy for him and healthy for ME. We haven't always agreed on what those are, primarily when he is using he becomes unreasonable. Last fall he begged to come home, that is a firm boundary that I will not budge on. One of the things that I chose to keep from Nar Anon is this. I did not cause my son to become and addict, I cannot cure his addiction, and I cannot control it either. I have to accept it and have had to learn to deal with it for my own sanity. In Nar Anon people refer to a "higher power". My higher power is Jesus Christ, he is alive and guides my every step. This journey has been a difficult one for sure but He has been with me every step of the way and is also walking along side my son. I pray daily for wisdom and strength. I believe that God has given me both in good measure. I love my son desperately and take great comfort in the knowledge that God does too. I don't know what tomorrow holds but for today I am thankful that my son is alive and is fighting his addiction the best way he can for today. One day at a time.
spend some time here, there is a lot of wisdom on these boards.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
dear Icelated, I too am a mother of a heroin addict. He was trying to stay clean after getting out of jail/rehab but the call of his addiction overcame him again. Just last week, he broke into our home and our safe (which is no easy task) and stole cash and gold.We have filed a police report and he will go to jail if he gets caught. I love him but I cannot help him. He disappeared and the only way we know he is alive is through some posts on facebook. Your daughter is on meth, that drug changes the brain. She won't quit until she is ready. I was addicted to meth when I was in my 20's. No one could tell me to stop until I was ready. Then i did.
The best thing to do is build a support system for yourself. Go to meetings and find others dealing with this issue. Sadly, there are so many of us parents of young addicts.
This disease will infiltrate your entire being if you let it.
Hugs and prayers to you and your daughter.
TT
The best thing to do is build a support system for yourself. Go to meetings and find others dealing with this issue. Sadly, there are so many of us parents of young addicts.
This disease will infiltrate your entire being if you let it.
Hugs and prayers to you and your daughter.
TT
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Icelated....
My beautiful straight A student daughter started falling down the rabbit hole somewhere around age 14.
As far as I can tell....somewhere around age 19 is when Meth entered the picture.
She will be 33 next month and she is sitting in prison for the 3rd time. She has lost parental rights to my granddaughter (who will be 13 soon) and is about to lose her rights to my grandson who is 6.
What I can share with you....after so many years of trying every single thing in the world that I can think of.....
There is a huge paradigm shift that you will eventually have to accept. When dealing with an addicted child, what you think and what you offer and how you approach things goes entirely against the norm.
You absolutely have to let her addiction bring her to her knees.
And it is possible to love an addict to death.
My beautiful straight A student daughter started falling down the rabbit hole somewhere around age 14.
As far as I can tell....somewhere around age 19 is when Meth entered the picture.
She will be 33 next month and she is sitting in prison for the 3rd time. She has lost parental rights to my granddaughter (who will be 13 soon) and is about to lose her rights to my grandson who is 6.
What I can share with you....after so many years of trying every single thing in the world that I can think of.....
There is a huge paradigm shift that you will eventually have to accept. When dealing with an addicted child, what you think and what you offer and how you approach things goes entirely against the norm.
You absolutely have to let her addiction bring her to her knees.
And it is possible to love an addict to death.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I am unable to sleep or eat at the moment. I dont even have the drive to do school work. My life has become un manageable. Do homeless people stop using meth? I need help for myself. I am thinking about calling intervention show but im not sure if that will even help.
She called me up last nite at 4 am and said tell josh( her x) to meet me at some store or i will never se her again =( and hung up.
Im scared that she has meth psychosis and that she wont ever snap out of this!
Are there meeting specifically for parents? Or, do i join groups with other addicts? I dont know what to do!
She called me up last nite at 4 am and said tell josh( her x) to meet me at some store or i will never se her again =( and hung up.
Im scared that she has meth psychosis and that she wont ever snap out of this!
Are there meeting specifically for parents? Or, do i join groups with other addicts? I dont know what to do!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 134
Nar Anon and Al Anon meetings are for families and loved ones of addicts. Al Anon started as an answer for families after the success of Alcoholics Anonymous, not sure when Nar Anon started but it's for families of drug addicts although I have found that people will criss cross meetings, sometimes the people at a particular meeting will be a better fit than others ... a lot of people say addiction is addiction and it doesn't matter. The first meeting I went to was an Al Anon meeting and every person there that shared had a loved one who was an alcoholic ... my son is a heroin addict, I didn't relate at all to those people, I've since found a Nar Anon meeting that is a good fit and I go pretty much every Monday evening. You can google Nar Anon to see if you can find a meeting near you. I highly recommend that you try to find one and keep trying if the first one doesn't fit. It is good to look around a room and see others who know your pain, others who really care, and most importantly, others who are living their lives and even have a measure of joy and peace in spite of their loved ones addiction.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
The most difficult words I have EVER spoken in my entire life was when I told my meth induced psychotic daughter not to call me until she had a year of clean/sober living and was in a program of recovery.
I let her go that day. And I let go of my ego telling me there was anything I could or should do or know that could cure her.
I let her go that day. And I let go of my ego telling me there was anything I could or should do or know that could cure her.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
Thank you tinks for the information. I will do this! YearForMe thats very sad =( I was fine and dealing with it when she was a heroin addict. However, now shes a psychotic meth addict. I can barely deal with the fact that shes on the streets of LA. Shes from a small town!
I told her i couldnt see her until she was clean for awhile. There was a 6 month period where i didnt talk to her. I helped her move out of one dealer house in hopes she was going to get clean. she went to her x boyfriends and he was dealing and using meth and thats when it all started.
I know i need help. I am not a very social person so sharing my story will be difficult. Now, i am at a point where i cant function and have severe depression and sever anxiety. I can actually feel it hurting my heart. =(
I told her i couldnt see her until she was clean for awhile. There was a 6 month period where i didnt talk to her. I helped her move out of one dealer house in hopes she was going to get clean. she went to her x boyfriends and he was dealing and using meth and thats when it all started.
I know i need help. I am not a very social person so sharing my story will be difficult. Now, i am at a point where i cant function and have severe depression and sever anxiety. I can actually feel it hurting my heart. =(
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
We had the honor of hearing a speaker from NA (Narcotics Anonymous) speak with us a few weeks ago at our Nar-Anon Meeting. His story was so honest and he was in VERY deep. He sobered up in prison.
One of the things he said that I believe is so true.....not just for the addict......but for those who love them too.....is to TALK. Get it out. Do it in a safe environment like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. Get a sponsor. But TALK it out. Internalizing this stuff eats us up from the inside out. That is one of the biggest things I get from my meetings. My friends there understand in a way that no one else can......just like here on SR.
I also am in a Step Study Group which is wonderful. Moving through the steps in sequence very methodically is truly an amazing experience. When I first started going to meetings, I truly didn't know what to expect. People just kept telling me to trust the process and I did. It is because of those meetings, those people in those meetings, my sponsor, and working the steps that I am able to concentrate, work, and live my life with some measure of serenity and joy.
There is no difficulty that cannot be overcome or hardship too great that it cannot be lessened........but we need help. And that is where I found it.
As I mentioned, I am in Washington State too. I'll PM (private message) you.
gentle hugs
ke
One of the things he said that I believe is so true.....not just for the addict......but for those who love them too.....is to TALK. Get it out. Do it in a safe environment like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. Get a sponsor. But TALK it out. Internalizing this stuff eats us up from the inside out. That is one of the biggest things I get from my meetings. My friends there understand in a way that no one else can......just like here on SR.
I also am in a Step Study Group which is wonderful. Moving through the steps in sequence very methodically is truly an amazing experience. When I first started going to meetings, I truly didn't know what to expect. People just kept telling me to trust the process and I did. It is because of those meetings, those people in those meetings, my sponsor, and working the steps that I am able to concentrate, work, and live my life with some measure of serenity and joy.
There is no difficulty that cannot be overcome or hardship too great that it cannot be lessened........but we need help. And that is where I found it.
As I mentioned, I am in Washington State too. I'll PM (private message) you.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Icelated, I am praying now for you and your daughter. Just know and believe in HP. That is the only thing you can do. God spoke to me this week and said I must stop trying to intervene. Every time I swoop in to try and fix it, it is delaying whatever miracle HE has in store for my son.
Prayers and love to you from Him.
TT
Prayers and love to you from Him.
TT
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Icelated,
I am so saddened to hear that you are going through all of this trauma & it is affecting your health & future so extremely. I've been there, done that. You can lose your mind if you let yourself. I do hope that you will search for a NarAnon or Alanon Meeting right away. I know that this is even harder for a man to do, as my husband was not social either. I do hope that you'll try though. I've seen some men really benefit alot from the meetings. My son is a Meth addict also. It's a fierce drug, for sure. I just wanted to add my understanding & to let you know that you're definitely not alone. All of these years, God has helped with my son the most. I've prayed & prayed & prayed & God has saved my son's life, against all odds, time & time again. In Him is the only hope that I have. Keep coming back here to talk it all out.
I am so saddened to hear that you are going through all of this trauma & it is affecting your health & future so extremely. I've been there, done that. You can lose your mind if you let yourself. I do hope that you will search for a NarAnon or Alanon Meeting right away. I know that this is even harder for a man to do, as my husband was not social either. I do hope that you'll try though. I've seen some men really benefit alot from the meetings. My son is a Meth addict also. It's a fierce drug, for sure. I just wanted to add my understanding & to let you know that you're definitely not alone. All of these years, God has helped with my son the most. I've prayed & prayed & prayed & God has saved my son's life, against all odds, time & time again. In Him is the only hope that I have. Keep coming back here to talk it all out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 124
I am SO, SO sorry...I can feel the desperation in your words and they could be written by me at this very, exact moment.
I, too, am from WA...my daughter is a heroin/meth addict. It had become clear she was using more than ever here at home the last time she stayed here...we told her she could not come home this time. As a mom it was the hardest thing I've ever done, as I fear this will push her over her edge. She's so uncontrollable when using meth, and vulnerable living on the street with NOTHING but her purse. I fear for her life every minute.
Like you, our experience with this is fairly new. We've only been dealing with it for a little over three years, so the shock, terror, pain, frustration, and helplessness is still raw...not that I imagine it gets better - but the ability to DEAL with it becomes matured, I can only hope.
Right now you are desperate to save your child and the true fact that you can't is such a shock to your system that you can't believe it. I feel you, there. I can't face the fact that I AM POWERLESS over her addiction. It goes against every thing we've ever felt as parents. Mommy and Daddy are supposed to make it all better...why can't we do that here?
The problem lies in the fact that, even though I believe it's a true disease, it stems from emotional pain that they aren't ready to deal with, yet. Whatever that pain may be, only they can decide they've had enough and turn that corner into real recovery. As long as they run (and our girls are running as fast as they can towards that cliff) they aren't ready to face the demons.
Your last post brought tears...because I ALWAYS say to her to at least keep her ID on her person. The last time I spoke with her, about not being home she hurled my words back in my face: "Fine, mom...when I'm murdered and thrown in a ditch, I'll be sure to have my ID on me, since I know you worry about that."
That person is not my loving, kind, compassionate child. This is a drug possessed woman who will bring us all down to the depths of emotional hell and financial ruin if allowed to live here.
It IS heartbreaking, soul-shattering, and mind-boggling for us parents left to watch helplessly.
But NOT hopelessly.
She's still breathing...she's still alive...as long as that's true, she can still decide to stop.
That is what I have to tell myself every moment. Each morning before I get out of bed, random times during the day, and before I go to sleep I place her in God's hands. I know she's His child and He loves her more than I do. If ANYONE can get through it will be Him.
I, too, am from WA...my daughter is a heroin/meth addict. It had become clear she was using more than ever here at home the last time she stayed here...we told her she could not come home this time. As a mom it was the hardest thing I've ever done, as I fear this will push her over her edge. She's so uncontrollable when using meth, and vulnerable living on the street with NOTHING but her purse. I fear for her life every minute.
Like you, our experience with this is fairly new. We've only been dealing with it for a little over three years, so the shock, terror, pain, frustration, and helplessness is still raw...not that I imagine it gets better - but the ability to DEAL with it becomes matured, I can only hope.
Right now you are desperate to save your child and the true fact that you can't is such a shock to your system that you can't believe it. I feel you, there. I can't face the fact that I AM POWERLESS over her addiction. It goes against every thing we've ever felt as parents. Mommy and Daddy are supposed to make it all better...why can't we do that here?
The problem lies in the fact that, even though I believe it's a true disease, it stems from emotional pain that they aren't ready to deal with, yet. Whatever that pain may be, only they can decide they've had enough and turn that corner into real recovery. As long as they run (and our girls are running as fast as they can towards that cliff) they aren't ready to face the demons.
Your last post brought tears...because I ALWAYS say to her to at least keep her ID on her person. The last time I spoke with her, about not being home she hurled my words back in my face: "Fine, mom...when I'm murdered and thrown in a ditch, I'll be sure to have my ID on me, since I know you worry about that."
That person is not my loving, kind, compassionate child. This is a drug possessed woman who will bring us all down to the depths of emotional hell and financial ruin if allowed to live here.
It IS heartbreaking, soul-shattering, and mind-boggling for us parents left to watch helplessly.
But NOT hopelessly.
She's still breathing...she's still alive...as long as that's true, she can still decide to stop.
That is what I have to tell myself every moment. Each morning before I get out of bed, random times during the day, and before I go to sleep I place her in God's hands. I know she's His child and He loves her more than I do. If ANYONE can get through it will be Him.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 455
Icelated- My D turned 24 over this past weekend.
When she left our home almost 2 years ago, she was 22 and constantly bouncing between being sick, irrational, violent, depressed, zombie-like, hysterical, desperately restless, or suicidal. Even before she started abusing drugs, she was impulsive and disorganized. She tended to lose all kinds or things- phone, ID, coats, eyeglasses, etc. Homeless, we just did not see how she would survive. She did not have friends, money, or a car. I was a nervous wreck because I kept expecting tragic news, but somehow she did survive.
I will pray for your D's safety and for you to find some peace.
When she left our home almost 2 years ago, she was 22 and constantly bouncing between being sick, irrational, violent, depressed, zombie-like, hysterical, desperately restless, or suicidal. Even before she started abusing drugs, she was impulsive and disorganized. She tended to lose all kinds or things- phone, ID, coats, eyeglasses, etc. Homeless, we just did not see how she would survive. She did not have friends, money, or a car. I was a nervous wreck because I kept expecting tragic news, but somehow she did survive.
I will pray for your D's safety and for you to find some peace.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
This brings back a flood of memories. My daughter also lost everything to drugs. She did not even have underwear. I nearly bankrupted myself financially, emotionally and physically trying to fix her. I tried to make contact with the Intervention TV show. I manipulated her into three back to back rehabs. There was one night that I physically tied her to me and we slept side by side and I actually considered restraining her in the house till she snapped out of it. I was insane at the time.
Kidnapping is a crime. Being a crazy addict is not a crime. There are millions of crazy addicts on the streets. Best case a hospital will hold someone for a few days. In major trauma centers in or near large cities, most addicts walk out the door and back into the streets and do so undetected.
The Salvation Army operates a free rehab for those who are ready to embrace recovery- no matter what.
You did not cause this.
You cannot control this.
You cannot cure this.
If love could cure addiction, none of us would be here.
If money and opportunities for treatment/therapy could cure addiction, many of us would not be here.
It's not our battle to fight.
Allowing something so beyond your control to make you sick is a choice. Accepting that I was powerless over my daughter and her choices was the most humbling work I have done.
Kidnapping is a crime. Being a crazy addict is not a crime. There are millions of crazy addicts on the streets. Best case a hospital will hold someone for a few days. In major trauma centers in or near large cities, most addicts walk out the door and back into the streets and do so undetected.
The Salvation Army operates a free rehab for those who are ready to embrace recovery- no matter what.
You did not cause this.
You cannot control this.
You cannot cure this.
If love could cure addiction, none of us would be here.
If money and opportunities for treatment/therapy could cure addiction, many of us would not be here.
It's not our battle to fight.
Allowing something so beyond your control to make you sick is a choice. Accepting that I was powerless over my daughter and her choices was the most humbling work I have done.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
icelated, keep in mind that you do not have to tell your story at meetings you can just listen to the others I am finding it surprising at some of the things I have heard and I have only been to, two meetings my third one is tonight.
I have 2 AS, an AH and my daughters fiancee died from his third overdose. I had to perform CPR on, one of my sons just one month after he attended his sisters fiancees funeral.
The only way I keep any sanity is posting here and having finally made the decision to attend meetings.
From one parent to another my heart goes out to you, We do know what your feeling,
I have 2 AS, an AH and my daughters fiancee died from his third overdose. I had to perform CPR on, one of my sons just one month after he attended his sisters fiancees funeral.
The only way I keep any sanity is posting here and having finally made the decision to attend meetings.
From one parent to another my heart goes out to you, We do know what your feeling,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((icelated))) - I am responding not only as a loved one who has addicts in my life, but a recovering addict. Abused alcohol, quit it. Abused opiates, quit them. Found crack? Went from being an RN with over a decade of work, to jumping into cars with strange men, living in boarded up apts., etc. in no time.
We A's (addicts) are very resourceful. TBH, I could care less if I had a place to sleep (didn't do much of that, anyway), food to eat, etc. Showers? Clean clothes? Definitely not on my list of priorities.
Before I lost my home, it used to be a hangout for meth and crack addicts. I get the paranoia of both addictions, also had a stepbrother addicted to meth., my stepsister is in recovery for heroin. My stepmother is an opiate addict, my dad is an enabler and I live with them, thanks to the consequences of MY addiction.
This forum has been a huge help. For me, it is enough, but a lot of people need f2f support and al-anon or nar-anon meetings really do help. I've begged my dad to go to al-anon meetings, he went twice, liked them, but that was it. It's frustrating to me, but I finally told him "when you get miserable enough to actually DO something for yourself? You will". It's what got ME into recovery...both for addiction and codependency.
People can live decades in addiction, though most often spend part of that time in jail (like I did). I am terribly sorry for what you and your family are going through, but I really do believe the more you read around here, you'll realize you're not alone. You don't have to say a word at meetings..sometimes just hearing "your story" coming from someone else, seeing how others deal with it can help a lot.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
We A's (addicts) are very resourceful. TBH, I could care less if I had a place to sleep (didn't do much of that, anyway), food to eat, etc. Showers? Clean clothes? Definitely not on my list of priorities.
Before I lost my home, it used to be a hangout for meth and crack addicts. I get the paranoia of both addictions, also had a stepbrother addicted to meth., my stepsister is in recovery for heroin. My stepmother is an opiate addict, my dad is an enabler and I live with them, thanks to the consequences of MY addiction.
This forum has been a huge help. For me, it is enough, but a lot of people need f2f support and al-anon or nar-anon meetings really do help. I've begged my dad to go to al-anon meetings, he went twice, liked them, but that was it. It's frustrating to me, but I finally told him "when you get miserable enough to actually DO something for yourself? You will". It's what got ME into recovery...both for addiction and codependency.
People can live decades in addiction, though most often spend part of that time in jail (like I did). I am terribly sorry for what you and your family are going through, but I really do believe the more you read around here, you'll realize you're not alone. You don't have to say a word at meetings..sometimes just hearing "your story" coming from someone else, seeing how others deal with it can help a lot.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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