Beerbottles

Hi everyone.. Thought I would check in with an update.

I drank last night, except it wasn't the train wreck it used to be. I had 2 civilised beers at a friends dinner party. I turned down any more drinks after that. I feel good this morning, except for the fact that I shouldn't be drinking at all???

Hubby also bought beers home last week and they have sat in the fridge untouched despite him asking if I wanted any, I just haven't..

So I don't know what this means, I'm prepared for the backlash on here, anyway just wanted to check in I guess

scrambled2012

No backlash friend, none at all. Your decisions are yours to make; if you are able to drink and not have problems with it, of course, more power to you. You yourself had expressed some different concerns, however; you said:

"In a bit of denial being here, I kind of have the mentality that I don't need to be as I haven't lost control, hit bottom, become obsessed with alcohol... But I guess my drinking has become not normal and I would like to never drink again so I don't find out what bottom feels like. "

If you want to quit, or remained concerned, I hope you know you are always welcome here. To be well, that is the objective.

Talk to you later~~~

Sapling

No backlash...You know what you have to do...I give you credit for not continuing last night and finishing it off badly today....Glad you are here.

Dee74

Hi beerbottles

The worst drinking nights for me were when nothing happened.

The nights when I had two drinks and stopped - that was hope for me that I might not be alcoholic after all....

Of course the hundreds of nights I didn't stop at two I conveniently forgot about.

I realise now it's a crap shoot....some nights I was satisfied with two drinks, other nights two crates wouldn't have done the trick....but it wasn't down to me...if it was I would have been consistent, and I wasn't.

I wasn't in control...it was just blind luck.

I know you're struggling with the idea of you being an alcoholic...I struggled with it for many years too - the end fact was - I could never pass up a drink...and frequently that got me into a lot of trouble.

My life, and myself, are both immeasurably better without booze

D

OCDDan

I think saying that is like saying you might drink again.

TSDD

Cool. I did the same thing after a year sober at one point. Had a social Guinness with the guys. It went so well I had two the next time we were over watching the game, then upped the ante to 4 since that went pretty smooth.... Long story short within a month I'm guzzling whiskey every day then typically looking for a drug dealer at about the half bottle mark.

Perhaps you were just unduely alarmed before. I sincerely hope your experiment works out better than it did for me.

Hevyn

Hi Beerbottles. Glad you checked in. The problem is - the two civilized beers can eventually lead to a false feeling of being in control (as Dee suggests). I know that's how it worked for me. It always led me back into that dark place where I lost control.

Keep talking to us - we care.

Anna

No backlash here either.

I did the same thing and quickly convinced myself that I could drink at dinner parties, or at a restaurant, etc. And, disaster followed. The nature of the disease of alcoholism is to lull you into feeling you are 'okay' and 'in control'. Then it hits with a vegeance.

I'm really glad you posted and I hope you keep reading and posting.

Beerbottles

Valid points... I guess I can only see how I go from here right?

Easyrider

I think you should re-read this thread.

Beerbottles

Sigh, so after sitting here reading the replies the cloud of false security has disappeared and I'm left feeling stupid..

Yeh nothing went wrong last night but I guess that's not really the point... I hate that I have to start again.. I hate that it's something I need to consciously think about, I hate counting days and I hate the battle in my head where most of me thinks I'm fine but the nighling voice says otherwise

Easyrider

You aren't stupid, we're all in the same boat.

Sapling

Don't hate yourself for it...Learn from it....And grow from it.

gunther84

I hope things do not turn bad for you. If you can drink like a normal person, more power to you...if you can not, I hope you can put the breaks on it before it progresses to a point where things get really difficult for you. Stay connected on these forums.

DisplacedGRITS

Just remember how cruel and cunning alcohol is. Many an alcoholic has started off believing that they had the power to moderate only to end up back where they'd started if not worse. I do not trust the power alcohol has over me. I've played with the bull and gotten the horns too many times. Best not to tempt it any more.

suki44883

You don't have to count days; many people don't. The only day you have to concern yourself with is today.

Gerbosko

No backlash here either.

If you start off negative, it'll end negatively. If you keep telling yourself how you hate this, that, and this and that... How are you suppose to have a positive and successful recovery?



Best of luck to you.

Dee74

No need to feel stupid - we've all been there
addiction is a problem that tries very hard to convince us we don't have it...

You've haven't lost the achievement of your time sober, or any of the lessons learned...unless you choose to do that - and I know you wont, BB

D

eh1988

In a lot of ways I wanna say.... You're playing with fire. But more than anything I want to say this, you didn't turn 2 beers into 18 beers and a fifth of jack like I would have. I wish you the best but please remember we are alcoholics, I've been proud of "only having a beer or two" in a day, so many times I can't remember. It always eventually turned into a full blown binge drinking all day and night, not saying that will be your future. Just sharing my experience, god bless!

ExBudGal

It just happened to me. Almost 9 months sober, I too fell to the false sense of security that I could drink again. One here, 2 there, none for a couple of weeks, then another one here, there. Seemed to be going pretty good, I got this licked I thought. Then, Oops, drunk again and it gradually got worse. Making excuses, delusions, trying to make justifications.... I'm on day 23 now again after 8 months of out of control, controlled drinking. I hope it works for you, but it didn't for me.