Hello All, I am Newly Recovering
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2
Hello All, I am Newly Recovering
A little about me:
I am 30 years of age and have been drinking heavily and regularly for 12 years.
I didn't start drinking til the end of HS and once I discovered its (temporary) ability to numb my thoughts and senses, I was hooked.
By the age of 21, I was buying 6 gallons of Ten High at a time, hiding them and drinking on average 2 a week. I always mixed with beer, and I'd drink anything I could get my hands on. At one point I was living in a dry county with no real access so I bought a bottle of generic orange mouthwash and sunkist and used that.
I have had periods of regression, when my time or energies would be focused on school or work and I could go a few days at a time without booze. Usually I would look forward to drinking again and would try to outdo my expectations to "make up for it".
I have lived with family off and on, gone to 4 different colleges (with no real degree to show for it) Always struggling to find "normalcy." I thought I was maintaining, thought I was a high functioning alcoholic. I was Irish, I was supposed to drink.
So now I'm 30 and probably should have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD a long time ago. Jobless (quit the bar I was working at) Car-less, and feeling pretty Hopeless. I have good friends and family and a girlfriend and I'm generally a pretty intelligent and happy person. But these first 4 days of sobriety have been pretty troubling. Friday is a huge trigger for me as others here have stated. I had a mild anxiety attack and called my mom immediately and told her everything I'm going through and she was understanding and supportive, Its 1:00am where I live and I'm still sober!
Knowing I'm ready to move on to a better phase of life in my 30s, not wanting to drink and waste them away, I quit cold turkey on Tuesday after a looonnng weekend.
Symptoms experienced: Constant runny nose, insomnia, vivid dreams/nightmares, itchy skin/rash, depression, all of which are fairly manageable and to be expected. The anxiety is what is killing me. The sober awakening that I am now scared and lost in a new world that I don't know how to live in.
I will be looking for AA support and am currently looking for a job that will offer some sort of medical coverage so I can see a doc about my anxiety and ADHD. For now, WEATHERING THE STORM.
Sorry for the extremely long post, just wanted to put it out there.
Currently Watching: Ancient Aliens!
I am 30 years of age and have been drinking heavily and regularly for 12 years.
I didn't start drinking til the end of HS and once I discovered its (temporary) ability to numb my thoughts and senses, I was hooked.
By the age of 21, I was buying 6 gallons of Ten High at a time, hiding them and drinking on average 2 a week. I always mixed with beer, and I'd drink anything I could get my hands on. At one point I was living in a dry county with no real access so I bought a bottle of generic orange mouthwash and sunkist and used that.
I have had periods of regression, when my time or energies would be focused on school or work and I could go a few days at a time without booze. Usually I would look forward to drinking again and would try to outdo my expectations to "make up for it".
I have lived with family off and on, gone to 4 different colleges (with no real degree to show for it) Always struggling to find "normalcy." I thought I was maintaining, thought I was a high functioning alcoholic. I was Irish, I was supposed to drink.
So now I'm 30 and probably should have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD a long time ago. Jobless (quit the bar I was working at) Car-less, and feeling pretty Hopeless. I have good friends and family and a girlfriend and I'm generally a pretty intelligent and happy person. But these first 4 days of sobriety have been pretty troubling. Friday is a huge trigger for me as others here have stated. I had a mild anxiety attack and called my mom immediately and told her everything I'm going through and she was understanding and supportive, Its 1:00am where I live and I'm still sober!
Knowing I'm ready to move on to a better phase of life in my 30s, not wanting to drink and waste them away, I quit cold turkey on Tuesday after a looonnng weekend.
Symptoms experienced: Constant runny nose, insomnia, vivid dreams/nightmares, itchy skin/rash, depression, all of which are fairly manageable and to be expected. The anxiety is what is killing me. The sober awakening that I am now scared and lost in a new world that I don't know how to live in.
I will be looking for AA support and am currently looking for a job that will offer some sort of medical coverage so I can see a doc about my anxiety and ADHD. For now, WEATHERING THE STORM.
Sorry for the extremely long post, just wanted to put it out there.
Currently Watching: Ancient Aliens!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Welcome Changefly. Your 30s are a great time to be sober-- congratulations on your decision!
I hope you can see a doc soon, but rest assured that much of the anxiety that is associated with alcohol withdrawal does subside with time. It gets better with each passing day!
I have Ancient Aliens in my Netflix queue. Might just have to turn it on now
I hope you can see a doc soon, but rest assured that much of the anxiety that is associated with alcohol withdrawal does subside with time. It gets better with each passing day!
I have Ancient Aliens in my Netflix queue. Might just have to turn it on now
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Changefly,
I went to rehab last year at the age of 34, after 10 years of heavy drinking. While in rehab, I was finally diagnosed with ADD by a psychologist. They told me that they see many undiagnosed adults with ADD having substance abuse issues. I am now on medication to control it and it has helped immensely. While I don't blame my alcoholism on ADD, I know that it played a big part in my poor decision-making and impulsiveness.
I went to rehab last year at the age of 34, after 10 years of heavy drinking. While in rehab, I was finally diagnosed with ADD by a psychologist. They told me that they see many undiagnosed adults with ADD having substance abuse issues. I am now on medication to control it and it has helped immensely. While I don't blame my alcoholism on ADD, I know that it played a big part in my poor decision-making and impulsiveness.
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
It's brilliant you have got your first Friday under your belt. It sounds like all of life's realities and worries are now rushing at you all at once now you're thinking soberly. Try not to worry too much about that now - you'll have time to sort things out in good time. Be gentle on yourself, you're making a huge step forward to a bright future even if that's a bit difficult to see at the moment.
Stick around - people here understand.
Stick around - people here understand.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 438
Welcome! You will dig this place if you stick around
Let us know how your first AA meeting goes once you go...you will find a ton of support there! I am just 2 years older than you y have been working on trying to get sober for over a year...or maybe 2...memory issues!!
Hope to see ya stick around, it is possible
Let us know how your first AA meeting goes once you go...you will find a ton of support there! I am just 2 years older than you y have been working on trying to get sober for over a year...or maybe 2...memory issues!!
Hope to see ya stick around, it is possible
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: LA, California
Posts: 372
Welcome changefly! Sorry to hear about your current struggles. You're definitely in the right place for making your first step. I've experienced the real world "feeling" as well. Recently I had a very rough week, emotionally I've just been realizing I'm still a very deppressed person, alcohol has really hurt me and stripped me of my normal abilities to think rationally. I say this because alcoholics are usually deppressed, they tend to think constantly of the things that are wrong in their lives, as opposed to the things that are right. You have to sit back for a second and think about the things you have in life, I can name one for you right now, you have your sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome Changefly...Sounds like you are ready to give it up....And for good reason. Because this sh!t doesn't get better. It gets worse. I don't what your insurance situation is but if you can see a doctor it'd be a good idea. Even a free clinic if you have to...Just tell them what you are doing. You're coming up on 5 days so you're doing pretty good as far as detoxing is going....The anxiety and fogginess will be around for a bit....A month ot two for me.....But not like what you have now and it does clear up.
If you want to go the AA route...It's as simple as this...If you go in there wanting it to work...It will work....It worked for this chronic hopeless alcoholic...If you go in there looking for reasons why it won't work or why you shouldn't be there...It won't work. Don't waste your time. You get out of it what you put into it.
Here are a couple sites you can use...This one is good to give you an overview of what to expect at meetings...If you are a little freaked out going to the first one...Join the crowd....You'll learn to like them...I'd recommend at least one a day to start...I was doing two sometimes three. I wanted it.
Your First AA Meeting<
Here is the Big Book....Read the Doctors Opinion and the first 103 pages....That gives you a good idea what the steps are about...Read it all when you get one.....That book will tell you everything you need to know...Study it. Good luck to you...Use this site for support. Great people here.
The text of Alcoholics Anonymous
If you want to go the AA route...It's as simple as this...If you go in there wanting it to work...It will work....It worked for this chronic hopeless alcoholic...If you go in there looking for reasons why it won't work or why you shouldn't be there...It won't work. Don't waste your time. You get out of it what you put into it.
Here are a couple sites you can use...This one is good to give you an overview of what to expect at meetings...If you are a little freaked out going to the first one...Join the crowd....You'll learn to like them...I'd recommend at least one a day to start...I was doing two sometimes three. I wanted it.
Your First AA Meeting<
Here is the Big Book....Read the Doctors Opinion and the first 103 pages....That gives you a good idea what the steps are about...Read it all when you get one.....That book will tell you everything you need to know...Study it. Good luck to you...Use this site for support. Great people here.
The text of Alcoholics Anonymous
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2
Thanks All
Thank you all for the kind words and support. After reading about PAW I became pretty fearful thinking it might take up to 2 years for symptoms and brain damage to stabilize, that was a rude awakening. But considering I drank for 12 years, the next two years of repair doesn't seem so bad.
I will stick around here and keep you all updated on my progress. I'll try to take part in more discussions as well. I am a huge movie fan, horror especially, love all kinds of music, I play guitar, I paint and I write. It will be nice to talk about some of these things again in a positive light once I get over the initial pitfalls of feeling like I can't do them sober.
Thanks again! Have a good weekend!
I will stick around here and keep you all updated on my progress. I'll try to take part in more discussions as well. I am a huge movie fan, horror especially, love all kinds of music, I play guitar, I paint and I write. It will be nice to talk about some of these things again in a positive light once I get over the initial pitfalls of feeling like I can't do them sober.
Thanks again! Have a good weekend!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome! :ghug3 It took me a couple weeks for the w/d anxiety to go away, but after that I did very well. I found that between six to twelve months my body and brain seemed to be functioning much better, normally again, and the problems I had with anxiety and depression were much more manageable.
Give yourself time to heal. It will get better.
I found that between six to twelve months my body and brain seemed to be functioning much better, normally again, and the problems I had with anxiety and depression were much more manageable.Give yourself time to heal. It will get better.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The Mile High City
Posts: 27
Welcome Changefly! I am also thirty. I have been sober for 10 days and I feel pretty good.
The insomnia has gone away. I realized I need to take care of myself because this is the only body and life I get. Hang in there, it gets better.
I love Ancient Aliens!
The insomnia has gone away. I realized I need to take care of myself because this is the only body and life I get. Hang in there, it gets better.
I love Ancient Aliens!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
I'm envious, changefly! Wish with all my heart I'd known at 30 what you know. Then I wouldn't have destroyed my life and ended up drinking 24/7 with a path of destruction in my wake.
You described the symptoms perfectly - I had all that, and some other stuff. (I thought I was the only one with a runny nose.) It all eventually went away, and my body healed.
Congrats on your sober days - you're on your way to a new life. Keep postiing.
You described the symptoms perfectly - I had all that, and some other stuff. (I thought I was the only one with a runny nose.) It all eventually went away, and my body healed.
Congrats on your sober days - you're on your way to a new life. Keep postiing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Congrats on a successful Friday! I'm also 30 and just had my awakening too. I was horrified when I realized that I'm an alcoholic. I am only thinking about today...anything bigger is too scary. There is a great thread for people starting sobriety in may...hope to see you there.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
Welcome Changefly
I know that 'sober awakening' all to well. At first it was a big shake-up going from one lifestyle to another one that's heather.
I found it comforting and challenging at the same time that living life alcohol free is a skill anyone can acquire.
Originally Posted by Changefly 
The sober awakening that I am now scared and lost in a new world that I don't know how to live in.
I found it comforting and challenging at the same time that living life alcohol free is a skill anyone can acquire.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Welcome Changefly
Sounds like you have been doing some very serious drinking. AA is a good option it certainly helped me to get sober, coming up to one year now.
Good for you for contacting people and talking about how you are feeling and what you are going through.
It's time to sober up for sure.
caiHong
Sounds like you have been doing some very serious drinking. AA is a good option it certainly helped me to get sober, coming up to one year now.
Good for you for contacting people and talking about how you are feeling and what you are going through.
It's time to sober up for sure.
caiHong
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