Maybe a little Taboo but I have to ask
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
Maybe a little Taboo but I have to ask
I am only on day 6 of sobriety. A record for me and I actually feel pretty good. A little more sleep would be great but that is it. One issue that kind of stinks is that I have totally lost my sex drive. My wife is a little frustrated thinking tthat would be great to take my mind off everything but I am just not interested. This does get better right?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 43
Duke, how old are you? This is a very common problem with alcoholics. Age also has a lot to do with how your body will recover, and become more "energetic" again.
It seems, from my perspective, that sober living, regular exercise, and a balanced/healthy diet is the best way to combat this problem. Overall, the exercise is the most important. Before you give up hope on this, I would suggest that you consider some sort of cardio exercise daily.
Good luck!
Also.... Something that seems to get brought up in every AA meeting I have ever attended is the issue of pornography. Pornography can be a huge problem when it comes to intimacy.
It seems, from my perspective, that sober living, regular exercise, and a balanced/healthy diet is the best way to combat this problem. Overall, the exercise is the most important. Before you give up hope on this, I would suggest that you consider some sort of cardio exercise daily.
Good luck!
Also.... Something that seems to get brought up in every AA meeting I have ever attended is the issue of pornography. Pornography can be a huge problem when it comes to intimacy.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Hey duke.... My problem is I always associated sex with drugs and drinking. I have not had any sober in over ten years. Now that I am sober I am freaking out that I will not know what to do... How to feel... How to start....
So now I am avoiding it. Not easy.
6 days in sober days is a real long time.
6 days in how our body recovers is not.
Hang in there. I hope it will get better for all of us. I will take still sleepings word on that.
So now I am avoiding it. Not easy.
6 days in sober days is a real long time.
6 days in how our body recovers is not.
Hang in there. I hope it will get better for all of us. I will take still sleepings word on that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
I am 45 years old Pojman. Not a spring chicken I know but still had a very healthy sex life with a very hot wife. Now I just want to battle through my days and try to fall asleep at the end of the day. Like Weasel I worry. Some of the best sex we had is when we were both a little drunk. That will never happen again.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Duke glad to read you are staying with it. Many things can go haywire temporarily. We call them post acute withdrawal symptoms or syndrome, or PAWS. If you could before, sober, you will again. If you needed the inhibitions relaxed through alcohol talk to your doctor. There are as many ways of dealing with that and not all pills of whatever color.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Originally Posted by Duke10 
Some of the best sex we had is when we were both a little drunk. That will never happen again.
But EVERYTHING when you first stop drinking seems like it's going to suck without booze. Just getting through an evening is a massive challenge, right? Most of us felt like the rest of our lives were probably going to be boring as hell without a drink. What was the point in life?
It's okay. It turns out that everything's better without booze. It really is. And if another recovering alckie told you they'd been sober for 6 days and wasn't feelin frisky yet, you'd probably tell him he needed to give it a little time, right?
I started drinking when I was 17. I'm 36. I've never done any adult thing sober. I'm like Bambi on the ice, man! And my H and I met as addicts - we were drunk every night for 8 years. Forget sex - we were scared we wouldn't have anything to SAY to each other.
But it's cool. Have faith.
Still
xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
I get the whole blue pill thing but that is not the issue. Just don't feel like it. I think part of it has to do with my wife really pushing me to be sober. Obviously it never worked until I decided to get sober. Maybe there is some resentment. Who knows but StillSleeping better be right
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
Way to get off the sex thing!! It was ok. I was the only one in there that was not ordered to be there which was tough. Three real young kids 18-20 that kind of goofed around the whole time. We did do some cool things on what our addiction actually costs. In terms of money, lost time at work yadda yadda yadda. Mine was over $300,000 after 24 years of drinking. Ouch. What a complete waste.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
Hey Duke10!
I was born and raised in Wisconsin and then I moved down to North Carolina last year. My co-workers tell me that I sound Canadian hahaha..
Anyways - Your body is in the healing process and that takes a lot of energy away from you and redirects it to the areas that need healing. Everyone is different so there is no "set day" that you'll be fired up and ready. Walking outside helps a ton and you'll feel good afterwards. The first week is the hardest week to get through, so I'm sure your body is still in shock.
Onwards we go
I was born and raised in Wisconsin and then I moved down to North Carolina last year. My co-workers tell me that I sound Canadian hahaha..
Anyways - Your body is in the healing process and that takes a lot of energy away from you and redirects it to the areas that need healing. Everyone is different so there is no "set day" that you'll be fired up and ready. Walking outside helps a ton and you'll feel good afterwards. The first week is the hardest week to get through, so I'm sure your body is still in shock.
Onwards we go
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Duke10
Way to get off the sex thing!! It was ok. I was the only one in there that was not ordered to be there which was tough. Three real young kids 18-20 that kind of goofed around the whole time. We did do some cool things on what our addiction actually costs. In terms of money, lost time at work yadda yadda yadda. Mine was over $300,000 after 24 years of drinking. Ouch. What a complete waste.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Duke,
My sex drive was non-existent when I was a practicing alcoholic. I was in a relationship from the age of 28-34, also the period my alcoholism really took hold, and by the age of 32 I was really incapable of having any meaningful sex. If the desire was there, I wasn't able to 'perform'. It probably suited my GF fine because I had gained 40 pounds and was generally unkempt anyway. Alcohol suppresses the production of testosterone in men and testosterone is what spurs your sex drive, so it is very common with alcoholics.
My sex drive was non-existent when I was a practicing alcoholic. I was in a relationship from the age of 28-34, also the period my alcoholism really took hold, and by the age of 32 I was really incapable of having any meaningful sex. If the desire was there, I wasn't able to 'perform'. It probably suited my GF fine because I had gained 40 pounds and was generally unkempt anyway. Alcohol suppresses the production of testosterone in men and testosterone is what spurs your sex drive, so it is very common with alcoholics.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
It took me at least a couple of weeks to jump back in the sack. When i did, it was well worth the wait. Being able to fully enjoy the experience and remember everything was...um...quite nice!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,896
In terms of money, lost time at work yadda yadda yadda. Mine was over $300,000 after 24 years of drinking. Ouch. What a complete waste.
Wow, that's a lot. I'm curious how you arrived at this figure with lost work time. I've wondered what my drinking might have cost me over a couple decades of drinking. Now I might have only missed maybe 2 days of work in 25 years due to drinking, but there were a lot of minimally productive hours, especially first thing in the morning.
Wow, that's a lot. I'm curious how you arrived at this figure with lost work time. I've wondered what my drinking might have cost me over a couple decades of drinking. Now I might have only missed maybe 2 days of work in 25 years due to drinking, but there were a lot of minimally productive hours, especially first thing in the morning.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: LA, California
Posts: 372
Yea I don't even wanna think about what alcohol costed me money wise. I'm over it, even though I know it was a ton I could have saved. I forget about that quickly when I think about how much worse it could have been, I stopped the bleeding by getting sober. Can't dwell on the past, just keep truckin' as they say.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,824
After nearly 30 years of drinking, I finally quit at age 43. My sex drive was damn near empty. It took about a month sober before it started coming back again. Now, nearly 3 years later, it's back and better than ever. Seriously, in that department, I feel at least 20 years younger! (Hope this wasn't TMI)
)
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I hope your right Former....
I am on day 3. I still feel it just been so long since sober I have a lot to figure out and feel.
As far as money lost, I can tell you just in credit cards I racked up $111,000. I have to pay bills this morning and add up how far I have been able to pay down. At around 90K now on debt but still have other stuff. Sucks.
This all thanks to crack, coke, hard drinks and paying the way for those I needed to have around me so I felt normal.
No more.
I am on day 3. I still feel it just been so long since sober I have a lot to figure out and feel.
As far as money lost, I can tell you just in credit cards I racked up $111,000. I have to pay bills this morning and add up how far I have been able to pay down. At around 90K now on debt but still have other stuff. Sucks.
This all thanks to crack, coke, hard drinks and paying the way for those I needed to have around me so I felt normal.
No more.
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