Had a breakthrough.....now dealing with depression
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 244
Had a breakthrough.....now dealing with depression
Last night was enlightening to say the least.
I went to my first outpatient treatment session and felt so incredible during it. It was like I had found my home. I didn't want the 3 hours to end.
On my way home at 8pm I was hit with a HUGE craving. I was VERY close to getting a bottle of rum and vodka. I however used a tool I had just learned. I focused on my thoughts......why did I want to drink? All I could come up with is that I was bored and lonely. So instead of grabbing a bottle, I called my best friend who thankfully was able to come over. So last night was a success, but I'm afraid of the next time that happens.....what if I can't find someone?
In any event, I woke up this morning sober (10 days now) and am suddenly feeling extremely depressed. While I am a drunk and have had massive social anxiety issues since childhood, one thing I have never dealt with is depression. I'm laying in bed, it's 11am, my dog is snoring next to me, and I'm contemplating staying in bed all day. That is not like me at all. I know I should get up and GET OUT of the house...it's beautiful out today. I really don't like this feeling at all.
I do have an AA meeting to look forward to at 6pm, and I have figure skating practice tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon. I'm starting to think I need to keep myself scheduled at all times. Boredom and being alone are really my triggers.
Ugh.....I hate these cravings......not having a huge one now, but I can still feel the one from last night........
Just another day......just keep swimming :-)
Donnylutz
I went to my first outpatient treatment session and felt so incredible during it. It was like I had found my home. I didn't want the 3 hours to end.
On my way home at 8pm I was hit with a HUGE craving. I was VERY close to getting a bottle of rum and vodka. I however used a tool I had just learned. I focused on my thoughts......why did I want to drink? All I could come up with is that I was bored and lonely. So instead of grabbing a bottle, I called my best friend who thankfully was able to come over. So last night was a success, but I'm afraid of the next time that happens.....what if I can't find someone?
In any event, I woke up this morning sober (10 days now) and am suddenly feeling extremely depressed. While I am a drunk and have had massive social anxiety issues since childhood, one thing I have never dealt with is depression. I'm laying in bed, it's 11am, my dog is snoring next to me, and I'm contemplating staying in bed all day. That is not like me at all. I know I should get up and GET OUT of the house...it's beautiful out today. I really don't like this feeling at all.
I do have an AA meeting to look forward to at 6pm, and I have figure skating practice tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon. I'm starting to think I need to keep myself scheduled at all times. Boredom and being alone are really my triggers.
Ugh.....I hate these cravings......not having a huge one now, but I can still feel the one from last night........
Just another day......just keep swimming :-)
Donnylutz
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
One of the first things my sponsor suggested to me was I should get a routine for myself...The only routine I had was 24 hour drinking. I set up what meetings I would go to...Set time aside to study the big book...That is the directions for the steps...Time for myself....Time for exercise...Time to get things done....Even time to just pray and meditate. This helped me a lot as I could focus on things besides drinking. Getting sober is a new way of life...It helps to have some direction to follow.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
It could be that as time goes by in your recovery, the depression will lift, if it's a result of the alcohol. If it doesn't go away, you might think about talking to your dr about it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I agree with Anna about getting help for depression if it doesn't get better. It could also be that you're going through what a lot of us go through after we stop drinking, a feeling of being tired and unmotivated. Try to be patient with yourself and look at it as a part of the healing process.
I found that good nutrition (and vitamin B complex) helped my energy level and mood. It's like training for a marathon - you do what you can today and keep your eye on the goal and each day you get better and stronger. :ghug3
I found that good nutrition (and vitamin B complex) helped my energy level and mood. It's like training for a marathon - you do what you can today and keep your eye on the goal and each day you get better and stronger. :ghug3
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Why not get up and attend a 7 am meeting? Noon meeting? Make it a 3 meeting a day thing and start to meet people. This way you'll have a ton of friends in recovery you can hang out with. Search: aa city state
Best wishes,
Best wishes,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Wow, nice work having such a great session and then putting what you learned into practice.
If you can't find someone, then you should come to this website because someone will always be here! 
Originally Posted by Donnylutz 
So last night was a success, but I'm afraid of the next time that happens.....what if I can't find someone?
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