Leemzer

Water? Yep. I got caught off guard tonight when some of my oldest buddies called me tonight to ask me out for one of our traditions we have not done in a while: Go out for wings, watch sports (tonight baseball), and have beer....

One of my favorite things to do.......

Had lots of wings........


Had no beer!

They barely asked, which was weird, even though my friends really don't pressure with things like that now that we are older. They did ask and I just said, "I'm not drinking tonight." They didn't even mention it after that. It was not awkward at all. It is like I exuded confidence and my answer went unquestioned.

I also watched them closely while we had fun. And you know what? They all drink what I consider normally. One of them even joked with me that the tab for all of us (we just split it 4 ways no matter what) was going to be considerably cheaper. It didn't bug me at all when he said it and he's a great guy and was only kidding and not busting my chops. I realized then and there that my drinking WAS different. And just like some people can't hold cats because they are allergic, even though they may really like cats, I just CAN'T pick up that drink...Can't and WON'T. Ever again. And I am not sad.

I read a post from Dee recently about how when he admitted to himself who he really was a huge weight was lifted. I wholeheartedly relate. I feel like I have lost nothing, only gained infinitely. I have been sober now for 2 weeks. This is a lifetime commitment here. I am not one to do things overly half-heartedly. As with drinking, I tend to be all-or-nothing. This is it. I feel great. I feel calm. I feel satisfied. I feel joy....and I feel peace.

To all of us on our sober journey, here's to us...this can be done, and nothing is being taken away from us. That is the lies of addiction speaking when we think we are losing part of our lives.....we are actually receiving tenfold.....

Have a great night everyone! You guys are the best!! :ghug3

lee

Dee74

great post Lee - thanks

D

Leemzer

Thanks to you, also, Dee. You and many others on here inspire me on a daily basis!

debsam

Leemzer,

Awesome, awesome post!!

Ultimately, for me, I was chasing peace. I ONLY got that, when I stopped drinking.

No more crazy noise in my head. Ahhhhhhhh

Hevyn

Wonderful job Lee. There is such a sense of relief when you admit it deep down inside. It feels so good when you triumph over temptation - and you know you can get over any hurdle.

Leemzer

Thanks to you all. I feel like my big, hard-headed, sweaty fight with myself of am-I-or-aren't-I? is finally over....The hot air out of the balloon has been released, and the pressure valve of trying to moderate drinking is done....I feel free and have never felt quite like this....I've never truly accepted it, and the feeling right now is humbling...I have allowed myself to rest....and to move on.....finally. It's been a long, wild ride. I had the brakes all along.

Tuitiefruitie

Thanks Lee, That was an awesome post!

stairs

Lee, I am so happy for you!

artsoul

Thanks for sharing that, Leemzer! It still feels a bit strange when I go out somewhere and actually come home at a decent hour - but it feels really good, too! Congrats on your 2 weeks sober!!