Snackle

Hi everyone, I am 25 years old, and I have been drinking hard liquor almost every single day for the last 4 years at the rate of about a handle of vodka every 2-3 days.

I was lucky landed a very promising job a few months ago. The job was nightshift, so my drinking problem worsened. I'd come home in the morning and let myself get drunk, and wake up the next day always hungover, and sometimes still drunk. On weekends, I'd wake up in the evening (since that was my schedule) and still let myself get drunk because "it was during the evening so it was okay" Long story short, my drinking is becoming much worse than before (which was really bad in the first place). Now I can barely make it a couple hours at home without getting smashed.

I missed work last night thinking that yesterday was today. Even if I had remembered I was still too drunk to go when I woke up/realized it. I'm putting my great job in jeapardy, and I know my body won't last another 15 years at this rate. I am afraid to start school, to get a girlfriend, or take on any responsibility. I am also losing friends, and becoming more and more reclusive. Hell, I don't ever let my room mates into my room because there are empty vodka bottles everywhere.

I've tried quitting before. It was about a year and a half ago when I made it about 3 months (but it was with the help of taking my mom's painkillers and morphine she was prescribed)... She caught me red handed one day, so I stopped taking the painkillers. I was very depressed, and had terrible anxiety. I couldn't enjoy anything, and even if I could I just couldn't sit still enough. I decided to see a Doctor and told him that I had depression (I did not mention the addictions).

He prescribed me Zoloft. I went a couple weeks on Zoloft (I was told it would take a while to work) and my depression/anxiety persisted. I slipped up and began to drink again (even while still taking Zoloft). I quit the perscription and have been drinking every since (besides the 2-3 day failed attempts to get sober again).

Now I don't know what to do. I've always thought, "oh well, I'll just drink until I die. No one will care, and I can't fix it anyways". Well, I'm starting to experience heavier consequences and I am realizing that's not what I want. I don't know where to begin. I do not want to go to AA meetings, and do not need to go to a detox clinic. I am thinking maybe telling my doctor the whole story might be a good step.

I don't want to lose my job or my life. What do you guys think? What should I do? Should I try anti-depressents again?

I am sorry for the long story, but I've never told anyone any of this before. I had to get it all out. Thank you all so much for reading.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think talking to your dr is a great idea. He will let you know if he thinks antidepressants will help. For me, I had depression long before I began drinking, so I needed to get that dealt with. Most antidepressants take a few weeks to kick in, so you really need to be patient to get to that point.

You might want to check out AVRT or SMART and you will find lots of support here.

sugarbear1

Maybe try what you don't want. AA saved my life and today, I am quite happy. Life is not all peaches and cream, but I am okay in my own skin today and that is priceless.
Pills and booze don't mix.

I wish you well!

Snackle

Thank you Anna, I have been checking out the site for about an hour now and I think I'm going to fit right in. I've never had so many people to relate to before, and it's going to help having some guidance this time, instead of doing it completely by myself. Today is day 1 and I cannot sleep. I feel too anxious. I've got to get up in 6 hours, but I know I will still wake up more refreshed (and not hungover!) than I would passing out 3 hours ago and waking up covered in sweat and too hungover to drink Coffee.

Edit: also thank you sugarbear (that was the name of my first chow dog as a kid) I may have to try out AA if the desire becomes too strong. But for now I think joining these forums and finally telling someone my story might be a good 1st step (i'm extremely shy in person). I now know the mistake of mixing alchy with anti-depressents, and I'm wondering if that actually set me back even more.

SOBERINNEPA

Please don't be so quick to decide you don't need a supervised detox. Alcohol detox is a very serious, sometimes life threatening matter.

Since you asked for advice; Go see a doctor with a background in treating addiction. Medical help could be vital.

Frenzy

I agree with sugarbear, I also am a happy customer from AA , somehow it works, just turning up to meetings with a bunch of people just like me, its very reassuring and I recommend it.
Also go to your doctor, you need help and the GP is a good place to start.

least

Welcome to the family. :ghug3 I agree with the medically supervised detox as it would be safer. Avail yourself of the support here and read and post as you like.

Jeni26

Hi and welcome to SR Snackle. This is the most wonderful place to find support, and we all know what you are going through.
Please take the advice about going to see a doctor. I've been depressed and am still taking medication. Anti depressants and alcohol don't mix, because at the very least they cancel each other out. No-one can give you medical advice here, but instead we have all been encouraged to visit our docs. But you must be honest with him/her to get the right treatment.
As far as other support goes, AA is helping me but there are other options too. Read and ask advice from others.
Above all, don't drink and keep posting. We're all here for you xxx

DayTrader

I'd suggest finding out if you have a drinking problem or if it's alcoholism. --AA is a great tool in that regard and I'd be happy to help. If you have a drinking problem, there's a lot of help for that. If you have alcoholism, the "treatment" is completely different but as/more successful.

coming_clean

welcome

keep posting

Dee74

Hi Snackle

I know even from my own limited experience that most anti-depressants take a while to kick in - and they won;t work effectively if at all when mixed with alcohol.

I agree with Anna that going back to your Dr and being honest and open about everything might be a good first step.

I hope joining us will help too - you'll find a lot of support and encouragement too - and hopefully a few more ideas on what to do next too

welcome

D

Michael66

Hey there snackle! It's good you've recognised the problem now. You're not among strangers who can't understand you here.

Jitterbugg

Hi Snackle,
I see a lot similarities between your situation and my own when I was your age. At 25, I was working the night shift at a call-centre and when I got home I would drink until I could sleep. I had two roommates and I did everything to keep them away from my room as I had empty vodka bottles and cases of empty beer bottles stacked to the ceiling. One roommate did see my 'collection' and was absolutely gobsmacked since they never actually saw me drink at home. I'm 35 now and just got help last year. I lost ten years of my life and I really wish I had done something back then.

Get some help now and you can avoid a lot of anguish in the future.

HitRockBottom70

Hey Sanckle,
I just want to say welcome. This forum has been a life-saver for me over the past few days. Read as many posts as you can, and keep posting. It really has helped me. I am far from being able to give you any long term advice, but I wish you well. Think about joining the May 2012 group and we can beat this together.

Fenris

Welcome to SR Snackle....just wanted to say that I had to do a lot of things that I didn't "want" to do in order to stay sober...mostly 'cause I wanted to continue pursuing oblivion until it swallowed me whole. So, honestly, if you want to be sober...you're gonna have to do some things you don't "want" to do. And the rewards will f'in amaze you. Seriously.

--Fenris.

artsoul

Welcome Snackle -

Coming here and posting is a huge step in the right direction. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, there really is life after alcohol and things will get better.

Seeing your doctor is a really good step, too - the more support/help we can get, the better. Glad you're here!

rcoop

My first post. congrats on making a choice to live. The consequences only become worse. U should also heed the advice of seeing and being honest with your MD. alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. Medical detox will make it much more comfortable also.

If you feel like U fit in here, you should also fit in at any AA meeting. Look for the similarities not the differences. Almost every one attending is there for the same reason. To stop drinking alcohol. You should give it a try, what U got to lose. You don't have to go if you don't like it. I have made life long friends in AA.

Engel

Welcome Snackle! There is wonderful help and support here. My alcoholism began when I started working night shifts. I couldn't sleep, so I would drink. Vodka was my choice drink too. Instead of sleeping, I would just get wasted and pass out about 4 hours before my shift began. One summer, I had really loud and disrespectful roommates and I hardly slept for 3 months it was soo hot in the day. I drank more and more. I became suicidal and just cried and cried. I moved out of the house and got a day job but the alcohol followed me and the disease progressed. I knew alcohol would cost me my job or my life. I decided to sober up a week ago and thought I was going to die. For 2 days I shook and sweat. My heart pounded and I thought I would die, but it passed. The alcohol is out of my system. I have gone 7 days without a drink and I feel very good now. SR forums helped me get through the withdrawal period and has kept me sober. My anxiety and depression has lessened tremendously. I still have a lot of emotional issues to deal with, but I now realize the alcohol was causing most of my anxiety. There is hope. Get medical treatment if you need to and don't give up.

ACT10Npack

Would be a good time to drop the alcohol before you get fired from work. You will get caught at work for being drunk. Alcohol is a very strong smell. I have done that many times.

Would be a good time to detox at the ER or at home because may not be good at time but it can be done. Start a recovery plan that will work for you and stick to it. You will most likely relapse a few times before you get it right. Remember that people are out there to help you and you don't have to do it alone.

RachelNorth

Welcome. You are in the right place. It will get better. Be strong. I think the docs is the right start, thats what I did, told him whole story. 6 weeks on I feel a million times better.
Good luck. And we are here for you. 24/7.