aeo1313

Let me start by saying I never wanted a drink daily, but for the past 8-9 months I have been taking opiates daily and drinking too much. Today is day 14 clean and I have no access to any pills. My daughter was getting on my nerves tonight and I got mad at her (she's 13) and I started craving vodka so much I was startled. It is now obvious to me that without pills I most likely would become a more constant drinker to take their place. I was outside painting when it happened and I forced myself to stay outside until the craving subsided. It scared me though bc it's my first craving in 14 days. All the thoughts came back- this isn't worth it/life sucks/I suck/I hate myself/I want to die/they'd be better off without me...etc etc. I am going to go call my sponsor.

Pandora1

Good plan on calling your sponsor. Stay strong.

Sapling

Good move aeo....The smart thing to do.

Dee74

I think calling your sponsor is a good idea too Ann.

My experience is the more I handled stressful situations sober the less those feelings of 'I need a drink' would surface...

you're definitely heading in the right direction - keep going

D

Anna

Sounds like a good plan.

Like Dee, I found that I got stronger each time I got through a feeling like that. The next time was a bit easier.

CraigA

Keep connected and stay strong, together we can alone I fail. Having courage/faith doesn't mean the absence of fear but it means walking through the fear and that my friend is what your doing, if by chance you fall on your knees well might as well pray and grab some strength. Remember God/Higher Power didn't bring us this far to drop us but to help us through our feelings! God Bless you on your journey!!!!

Zencat

I can relate. Negative self-talk like that has caused me problems in the past. Learning effect tools to put a stop to those thoughts can be and has been a life saver.

Here's a link that can be helpful. Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central

aeo1313

Thanks everyone. I took my dog for a walk and talked to my sponsor during the walk. I then came home and appologized to my daughter. I'm not in the greatest mood but at least the urge to drink is gone

Sapling

Good news.

keltie

SO proud of you!

IndaMiricale

Well done, keep doing the next right thing and it will be better.