Elisabeth888

I need advice. My stomach is turning and churning and I am mad.

I know you guys will give me some good advice and I will listen and take the advice.

I am not driving and don't have a car. YET. I have had to rely on AAs for rides and have given gas money, bought lunches etc.

I switched sponsors (like an idiot) and the current one I have gave me a ride home today and told me I don't give enough gas money. I haven't been keeping up with the exact miles or number of rides she gives me but it is not even every week that she gives me a ride. She has never given me a specific $ amount, but when I give her money it is at least $10. I live 7 miles from the meeting.

I gave her $15 today. We don't plan out the rides and I don't know if she will give me any other rides this week.

She gives this chick a ride that lives right near me rides a lot more frequently apparently. She told me it is 25 miles round trip from her house to my house to the meeting. I think that the distance should be from my house to the meeting, not her house. I think she is lumping me in with this woman for causing her to spend so much on gas. I have other people I get rides from besides her, A LOT more frequently. It seems like she is trying to have a cigarette money making venture off of giving rides or something.

I am just so pissed. I don't know if I have explained this correctly.

I am so mad I want to fire her. She is a busy body control freak to boot. I don't know if I can work the steps with her. I don't know if I want her knowing my business.

Is this making any sense? I am so mad I am crying. I guess this sounds stupid but it is affecting me.

I CANNOT wait until I get a car and I can drive my OWN ASS to AA meetings.

Sapling

What step are you working on?

Elisabeth888

2

irishtom

find someone else. its not worth the stress

Sapling

I'd get someone else that's more interested in moving you along the steps than moving you to meetings.

Sapling

I would tell you to pray on it....But I take it you don't pray.

Dee74

Hi Elizabeth

I think if it's her car she has the right to 'charge' what she likes.
You also have the right to look for another lift

I know it's upsetting you right now, but is stuff like this really worth getting twisted over?

Start looking for other lifts and try and find something to do right now to help you unwind, relax and let this go

Elisabeth888

I do pray!

I am praying about this.

Lily

Elisabeth, I understand your anger but one thing I have learned is my ability to accept also keeps me serene.

Accept the fact she is over charging you and find someone else. You cannot change her or control her and if you do not feel comfortable working through the steps w/ her, find someone else. It really will be okay sweetie, just don't drink over it.

I have found in my recovery I have had to set boundaries in my life and not be around some people. That is okay today.

Blessings, Lily

Anna

Elizabeth,

I think Dee is right. It's her car, so she can drive who she wants and charge what she wants. You have every right to get out of that situation. And, she doesn't sound to me like someone I would be confiding in about very personal issues.

sugarbear1

Are you willing to believe or are you willing to set aside your old beliefs that a power greater than you may exist? yes (basically, was your way working? No) Step 2, done.

Move to step 3, make a decision to move on with the steps knowing your power greater than you has you in their care. "At once" move into step 4.

I don't understand the gas situation. I get rides all of the time, when I ask, and not once has anyone asked for money and it's been turned down when I have offered. It is from the goodness of these people that I get rides, they always seem to have enough gas, and their program works quite well.

Find other people to get you rides and find someone to guide you through the steps. It's not the meetings that keep us sober, it's the steps we practice in all of our affairs (the traditions help us in all of our affairs, too!).

Vent anytime!

Hugs,

sugarbear1

meditation is listening to an answer.......sit in silence and listen, your answer will come.

Sapling

What's the holdup on step 2?

Elisabeth888

She has me doing a lot of writing.

I see I am overreacting about this. I am going to find other rides to meetings. I am going to have to discuss my feelings with her too, and possibly change sponsors again.

I am being immature by getting so worked up. I am going to channel this energy into finding and buying a car. I am going to so APPRECIATE driving myself.

I am going to read page 417 now.

Sapling

Yeah...You don't need to get worked up over it....Put it in your Higher Power's hands...I didn't do any writing for step 2. I didn't see anywhere in the book where it said I had to. I prayed my way into AA...I was done with 1, 2 and 3 when I asked someone to sponsor me. He had me read the third step prayer....And then I started writing.

ReadyAndAble

I have a trick I try to use when something is bugging me: I ask myself if I will still care about it in a month. Most of the time, the answer is that I won't even be thinking about it in a month... or probably ever again.

Sapling

Hang in there Elisabeth....It's going to work out.

Sapling

I've never seen this either...And most of the time I'm the one giving people rides...They offer and I don't take it. When I've been given rides...I offer and they don't take it. I could see if it was across the state or something...This is new to me.

Soberween

I don't think you are over reacting. I'd be pissed too. Just because you are in recovery doesn't mean you don't have a right to get angry. You are still a human being with normal emotions. It's not like it is sending you over the deep end and you are hitting the bottle. You are working your steps, going to meetings, etc.

tomsteve

welp, being a sponsor, i personally wouldnt ask for gas money. it is my responsibility that when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help i want the hand of AA to be there, without asking for anything in return, and that includes when i give a ride.
i am glad she is havin ya write a lot! pretty wild how different things are when we get em down on paper( or a computer screen). what i am reading has a solution in the BB. starts last paragraph pg 64. read and study to end of 2nd paragraph pg 68.