LoveAllGone

I am writing to see if ya'll can give me a little advice for "down the road"...I'm a recovery "codie" and have been free of my AH for almost 6 months now but still haven't gotten our divorce finalized. It's coming up again in a week so maybe that will all be over soon.

Ok, back to what I want advice on, I'm not looking at dating anyone until I've been working on myself for at least a year but there are several things that weigh on my mind about what to do when I do get back out there. First of all, will I be able to see those "red flags" in the future? Will I look at every male I run into as an active addict of something with just a good front and miss out just because of paranoia? Will the paranoid feelings about all of this subside as time passes?

I like to go out and have a good time with my friends and family about once a month and we'll go dancing and have a few drinks and that's the end of it until next month. I don't want to look at a man, that does the same, as OMG! he's either already an alcoholic or well on his way to becoming one. I know it's just fear talking and I know that I'd find out for sure about "him" in time but I really would love to avoid any more wasted time.

I come from a really small town where there is "nothing" to do for recreational fun unless you drive about an hr and a half so entertainment is limited. I'd say about 80% of this town...instead of driving that hr and half for clean fun would rather just drive the liquor store and throw a party in a field somewhere so it's kind of hard to find a guy here that doesn't at least drink "socially"...it's just learning the difference I guess.