Freaking out - need some advice
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
Freaking out - need some advice
Im not doing so well - sadness subsiding and feeling panic and all other codependent traits come back. Gone to friend's while my ABF sorts his stuff before hopefully moving out but I'm early so grabbing a coffee. My ABF went out earlier to meet his sponsor, he says. Had a couple of texts from him earlier and I deliberately left house early so i wouldn't sit there counting how long he had been and whether he had been drinking. Now I'm doing just that but in a coffee shop!! haven't had text since 2ish but then why would I? We are meant to be splitting up. He looked upset when he left - is it common for them to drink if relationship ending? Need some advice to calm me down. I am having to stop myself from texting him as I know I'm getting sucked back in..
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: My Own Headspace
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Originally Posted by Anon12 
Had a couple of texts from him earlier and I deliberately left house early so i wouldn't sit there counting how long he had been and whether he had been drinking. Now I'm doing just that but in a coffee shop!! haven't had text since 2ish but then why would I? We are meant to be splitting up. He looked upset when he left - is it common for them to drink if relationship ending? Need some advice to calm me down. I am having to stop myself from texting him as I know I'm getting sucked back in..
ANY situation or trigger or even non-situation or non-trigger can make an addict use. There doesn't have to be a reason...or least an identifiable one, that is. I've used (opiates) just out of sheer boredom.
That said, sounds like you've got some good insight into your own issues of codependence, and that's pretty awesome, in my opinion.
Sorry I have no words of wisdom for you. I'm a newbie here, just starting my third month of not using. BUT, I have experienced the whole "counting thing" that you're doing. Spent two years married to an alcoholic, and I did the same thing. And you know what? That was over in 1999, and I hadn't remembered the counting thing until I read your post. I hope that's in your rear view mirror soon...
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Join Date: May 2012
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I'm dreading going back to our flat - my ABF is meant to be sorting through his stuff and leaving, temporarily, to stay at his parents but I'm stressing if I get home and nothing is sorted then he has probably been drinking. I can't handle him drinking and go through break up. I have decided in my head to give him 2 weeks to find a place (not told him this) but if he drinks I won't be able to cope. Any tips for how I get through next two weeks?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Perhaps it would make you feel less panicky if you sort of rounded on the situation and took hold of it.
If you've agreed that you're going to be away whilst he packs, give him a deadline. "Hi ABF. So you're sorting things out and you'll be out at five today, right? Great. I'll come home afterwards. Any other things you need I'll box up and put [in the garage, in the neighbour's, whatever]."
If you've agreed that you're going to be away whilst he packs, give him a deadline. "Hi ABF. So you're sorting things out and you'll be out at five today, right? Great. I'll come home afterwards. Any other things you need I'll box up and put [in the garage, in the neighbour's, whatever]."
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