crazybabie

I have been able to keep telling him no so far it has not been a long time yet but it seems like forever but one can only make it one day at a time right. (Has only been since April 28th)

I finally sent him a text after I found out he had been to the house and asked him too not text, call, or come by my place he came when I was at my dad's and got the mail. No, clue if he tried to come in as I had changed the locks 2 days after I asked him to leave.

He came by tonight and brought money for me to pay for State taxes apparently in 2002 when our son was going through his chemo and radiation I forgot to mail in the state. I also let him know in that text he can take to the payments to our local office for now on. I know he is using this as a way to come by and try and keep a foot in the door. My only income is my Disability and he knows he can try and scare me telling me they can just take it from me.

My problem is if I change my phone number the kids will give it to him, not quite sure how to handle this. I can block his calls but not his text however I can not read or respond to them. I know some phones do both but I tried mine with a friend and it will not and finances do not allow for a new phone right now.

I also would appreciate some opinions on another thing. I start meetings Monday, we also have CODA,meetings here. I am wondering if FA 2x a week before starting Coda might be good or try and tackle both at once.

Has anyone tried Coda? If so were you in other meetings first or did you try both at once?

I did have my test for the STDS done on Thursday so now just waiting on the doctor. I never even considered Hep, B only Hep. A. My doctor always calls and gives results even if they are OK which I love that about him.

I found a song by Reba McEntire named she can't save him as well a song by Sara Evans named A little bit stronger. That has been helping me a lot not sure why but why doesn't matter.

I hope everyone will be patient as I am sure I will be posting quite often.
I am still confused and angry which I realize will get better as I get better.

My focus is now off him and what he does I am past that just trying to figure out what may be best for me.

Thanks for listening.

Taking5

Why can't you block his texts? Seriously I've only done this a few times but I've never heard of a phone that cannot do this. Maybe its time for a new phone? I just got an iPhone 3G in January for just $1 since they were moving them out to make room for the 4Gs.

Ann

CoDA was my homegroup for many years when I lived in Toronto. It was a wonderful group, about 30 people, and I credit it for literally saving my life.

I also attended some Al-anon meetings at the same time, also very good and I might have spent more time there as well (CoDA meeting was only once a week), except that a dear friend of mine attended most of the Al-anon meetings I might have gone to, and she was going through a very tricky personal hard time and I think my showing up would have made her uncomfortable sharing.

I hope you will go and start building a better life, meetings have helped so many of us here find our balance and grow.

Good luck.

Hugs

bluebelle

Have you tried blocking the texts through your phone provider? I have Verizon, and I can enter #'s online that I want to block.

dollydo

I called Sprint and gave them the #'s I wanted to block from texting me...in my phone I could only block phone calls.

crazybabie

DG, I can't just buy a new phone I wish I could the one I have is like the one Dolly was saying about her's I can block calls but not texts.

Ann, We have FA2x a week on Monday's and Thursday's so I would be doing one CODA and One FA...is why I am trying to figure out where to start I do not wanna get overwhelmed I have decided I will try CODA Monday and FA Thursday I plan on doing both for 3 weeks then relook and decide.

Taking5

Did you miss the part where my new phone cost $1?

dollydo

Call your provider and have the number blocked from texts.

LoveMeNow

I have an iPhone and AT&T. I had to buy a plan for $4.99 called Smart Limits. You can go on line and add several numbers to be blocked. It will block calls and texts.

Problem is...you can also go on line and unblock them anytime you want.

Also, I can only get $1 phones if I have available upgrades based on my contract, you may want to ask your provider when you have an upgrade. However, with at&t and an iphone- you have to pay to block!

Kindeyes

Angie
I had to change my phone number about a year ago. My XAH decided to start harassing me (we were divorced 30 years ago!!). There was no cost associated with changing my number.

I advised my son that I did not want his biofather to have my phone number and he has not given it to him. Stating a boundary clearly to your children might be important. Let them know that if they give Dad your phone number, you'll change it again and this time they won't get it either. Tough times call for tough action. Hopefully, your children will honor your request.

And good for you for changing the locks! That was a great step in not playing games with him and demonstrating to him that you are strong and capable!

Now......back to the matter at hand......meetings. I go to two meetings per week. One is a step study (via Ala-Anon) and the other is a Nar-Anon Meeting. For me, it was a matter of wanting to get as much as I could from the meetings and seeing where I felt most comfortable. Some people (recovering addicts for instance) may go to meetings every single day and do an immersion approach. Do what works for you.

gentle hugs
ke