I just blew it.
sorry to hear that vajra.
I think no matter what method we're using, it's always useful to go back to the beginning - maybe think of things you can add or do better?
I really hope you can make this time your last time
D
I think no matter what method we're using, it's always useful to go back to the beginning - maybe think of things you can add or do better?
I really hope you can make this time your last time
D
Hi Vajra. I had many false starts before finally admitting I couldn't drink a drop. It was always back down into hell each time. As Dee said, maybe this is the last time. Hoping you will not have to go through that again.
Don't worry about "starting over". Just do it. You can you know. You recognize your Beast alot better than 11 days ago, I bet.
Have you read RR the book? Super interesting and remarkably helpful. I can't remember if you said you had or not...
Keep coming back here for support.
Pam
Have you read RR the book? Super interesting and remarkably helpful. I can't remember if you said you had or not...
Keep coming back here for support.
Pam
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Vajra.
Like the others said, those 10 days, and even the relapse, can be valuable if you learn from them. Glad you came right back here!
Did you get the book yet? Dig deeper. One of the big concepts is there is no battle between you and the addiction. Yes, it wants you to drink. But it is powerless to make you drink. Try an experiment: dare the beast to make you wiggle your little finger Just a little wiggle. Can it do it? Of course not. It has no actual power, no ability to defeat you. In the end, you are in control. Even the thought "the Beast is strong" is your AV. You do not need to debate it or defeat it—you simply need to be aware of all thoughts that nudge you toward drinking, including fears and doubts about your own abilities, and identify them as AV so you can disown them. When we drink, it's not because the AV won some argument. It's because we accepted the AV's message—"I want a drink"—as our own. It wants a drink. It needs a drink. You don't, ever. And if it couldn't make that finger wiggle, it certainly can't make you drink.
Read. Practice. Do the mental exercises. You can and will succeed, Vajra.
Like the others said, those 10 days, and even the relapse, can be valuable if you learn from them. Glad you came right back here!
This beast is a MF. Can't let it get ahead of you or it will always win.
Read. Practice. Do the mental exercises. You can and will succeed, Vajra.
There's very few of us here who haven't faltered Vajra.
Like I said addiction feeds on shame and self reproach because those are the very kinds of things that make us drink again.
Draw a line under what happened & come back and join us - it was one hurdle, not the entire race
D
Like I said addiction feeds on shame and self reproach because those are the very kinds of things that make us drink again.
Draw a line under what happened & come back and join us - it was one hurdle, not the entire race
D
I have felt these feelings - awful, dark, lonely. If you are drinking, those feelings are real easy to stay fixed in. Can't get out and away from them until you put the bottle down.
Come back, talk to us sober, clear-headed. Get focused again. You really, really can and you ARE worth it. Come on back.
Pam
Come back, talk to us sober, clear-headed. Get focused again. You really, really can and you ARE worth it. Come on back.
Pam
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