I really need some help. I can't stop.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: IN
Posts: 1
I really need some help. I can't stop.
Hi. My name is Mike. I'm a 22 year old alcoholic that cannot stop drinking whatsoever. I have been to the hospital multiple times since the age of 18 for drinking related injuries and alcohol poisoning. I have been to rehab four times already, twice because the courts made me go, and twice recently because I was charged with a DUI and decided to go on my own. This past time I was in rehab, I stayed for 28 days, but 2 days after getting out I was drinking again. I went to rehab this past time because I broke my back in a rollover accident (drove off the side of an off-ramp). Nobody understands, they just don't get it. The local police have arrested me multiple times and laugh about my drunkenness, my family thinks I'm a joke, and all of my friends laugh and say what a fool I am for drinking again, BUT I HONESTLY can't stop. I don't know what to do, I need help, someone to talk to. I have lost my job, sold my car for the second time for alcohol, and I don't have anything left but a couple hundred dollars, screwed up credit rating, medical bills stacked high, and a half drank liter of vodka. I'm so lost.
I tried AA a couple of times before, and this past time was like a nightmare. A friend that I used to work with (and partied with) started going to this alano club, and she invited me to go with. She gave me rides and everything. But before I knew it, she was constantly playing mother and telling me how this is a disease (she would never stop and it seemed like she was just repeating what old timers said). She made it seem like she had the answer over night. I couldn't stand the way her and other aa's were at this particular meeting. Everyone consistently tried telling me what I needed to do, but it seemed like they needed to take their own advise because they weren't doing anything with their own lives in the first place. They nearly drove me insane.
I just need some good advise. Some people at meetings described their drinking habits, and they didn't even compare to the consumption rate I have been drinking over the last 6 years. Any advise? Please?
I tried AA a couple of times before, and this past time was like a nightmare. A friend that I used to work with (and partied with) started going to this alano club, and she invited me to go with. She gave me rides and everything. But before I knew it, she was constantly playing mother and telling me how this is a disease (she would never stop and it seemed like she was just repeating what old timers said). She made it seem like she had the answer over night. I couldn't stand the way her and other aa's were at this particular meeting. Everyone consistently tried telling me what I needed to do, but it seemed like they needed to take their own advise because they weren't doing anything with their own lives in the first place. They nearly drove me insane.
I just need some good advise. Some people at meetings described their drinking habits, and they didn't even compare to the consumption rate I have been drinking over the last 6 years. Any advise? Please?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Mike, it's great that you are here on this forum. There are a ton of smart, caring, experienced people who can offer advice and support.
You CAN stop drinking. What you have tried so far - the loop of rehab and relapse - is not the right method for you it seems. There are others.
Take a look at the forum called Secular Connections and especially this thread:
AVRT
Anyway welcome and best wishes to you - you are very young and stopping now will save you the world of hurt that some others of us endured.
You CAN stop drinking. What you have tried so far - the loop of rehab and relapse - is not the right method for you it seems. There are others.
Take a look at the forum called Secular Connections and especially this thread:
AVRT
Anyway welcome and best wishes to you - you are very young and stopping now will save you the world of hurt that some others of us endured.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Michael
I'm glad you found us - I know you'll find a lot of support and advice here.
I drank all day everyday for 5 years - and SR helped me stop (5 years now)...so I know it can help you too.
It really made a difference for me to come here every day and read or post and think about my problem, and know that others here had my back and would set me straight if I was going wrong...
If you're looking for face to face support as well, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited at all to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
Action is the thing that got me out of my spiral.
D
I'm glad you found us - I know you'll find a lot of support and advice here.
I drank all day everyday for 5 years - and SR helped me stop (5 years now)...so I know it can help you too.
It really made a difference for me to come here every day and read or post and think about my problem, and know that others here had my back and would set me straight if I was going wrong...
If you're looking for face to face support as well, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited at all to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
Action is the thing that got me out of my spiral.
D
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Mike,
I drank for a solid 6 years. I lost my career, my house, my girlfriend, my car, declared bankruptcy, got a DUI, in the hospital twice, arrested 4 times, charged with domestic assault and got into various brawls with friends and strangers. My next step was either prison or death. If you dont stop, you will die a slow horrible death. I got sober because I want to have a happy life with a wife and kids etc. I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to live any semblance of a normal, happy life.
This site has done wonders for my sobriety. I have my own apartment now and a job. Nothing is stopping me from walking next door to an Irish pub or walking to the liquor store down the street. I just had enough. I couldnt live with booze the first time, so Im gonna try it sober. This is my last chance. Otherwise, Im dead. Plain and simple.
I drank for a solid 6 years. I lost my career, my house, my girlfriend, my car, declared bankruptcy, got a DUI, in the hospital twice, arrested 4 times, charged with domestic assault and got into various brawls with friends and strangers. My next step was either prison or death. If you dont stop, you will die a slow horrible death. I got sober because I want to have a happy life with a wife and kids etc. I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to live any semblance of a normal, happy life.
This site has done wonders for my sobriety. I have my own apartment now and a job. Nothing is stopping me from walking next door to an Irish pub or walking to the liquor store down the street. I just had enough. I couldnt live with booze the first time, so Im gonna try it sober. This is my last chance. Otherwise, Im dead. Plain and simple.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I would suggest that you return to AA and find a new home group where they have meetings.
I understand things were not good for you with this Alano club and some members.
Forgive them and move on.
If you keep searching you will find someone to help you. You have to be there for that to happen.
Can you try a big book study meeting?
Indiana AA • Alcoholics Anonymous • IN
I understand things were not good for you with this Alano club and some members.
Forgive them and move on.
If you keep searching you will find someone to help you. You have to be there for that to happen.
Can you try a big book study meeting?
Indiana AA • Alcoholics Anonymous • IN
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
Well Micheal I have been where you are at a few times. I have been arrested 10 times and have 26 felony counts. You have a choice go on to the bitter ends jails, institutions or death. Those are your choices. You are young enough now to change your life for good. What do you have to change about yourself? You have to change everything. It is not easy but it can be done. You have been listening to yourself for a long time. You keep feeding yourself bad information. You have been listening to a fool. Your best thinking has got you this far. If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always gotten and that is pain and misery. There are a lot of people here at SR that are willing to help you. So the ball is in your court. What are you going to do now. What ever you do good luck in your journey. We are here for you. Logo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by michael89 
I tried AA a couple of times before, and this past time was like a nightmare. A friend that I used to work with (and partied with) started going to this alano club, and she invited me to go with. She gave me rides and everything. But before I knew it, she was constantly playing mother and telling me how this is a disease (she would never stop and it seemed like she was just repeating what old timers said). She made it seem like she had the answer over night. I couldn't stand the way her and other aa's were at this particular meeting. Everyone consistently tried telling me what I needed to do, but it seemed like they needed to take their own advise because they weren't doing anything with their own lives in the first place. They nearly drove me insane.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
At this Alano club, were you going to AA meetings or just hanging out at the club? Did you read the big book? Get a sponsor? Tried any other AA meetings? Each AA meeting is different and has a different atmosphere, you may need to find one that suits you better.
And oh yeah, Please answer Sapling's question.
And oh yeah, Please answer Sapling's question.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
theres one common denominator in people that go to AA and it didnt work of them: they "tried" it. every single member of AA who has gotten sober and maintains sobriety
took action( certain steps), and thats millions of ex drunks it's workin for.
there are many people in AA who are still sick and some sicker than others. even though meetings are important, it is important to know going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is action.
took action( certain steps), and thats millions of ex drunks it's workin for.
there are many people in AA who are still sick and some sicker than others. even though meetings are important, it is important to know going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is action.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
AA made a huge difference for me, I suggest you give it another try. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days, and get a Big Book. You don't "read" the Big Book, you "study" it. Get a sponsor and work the steps. Keep coming to SR everyday. Work your sobriety program like your life depended upon it, because frankly it does.
And stop finding fault with other AA members, in AA you take your own inventory, not theirs.
Logo nailed it, Your best thinking has got you this far. Go back and read his post.
And welcome to SR, if you want to get sober, this is a good place to be.
And stop finding fault with other AA members, in AA you take your own inventory, not theirs.
Logo nailed it, Your best thinking has got you this far. Go back and read his post.
And welcome to SR, if you want to get sober, this is a good place to be.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Honestly, as someone who was skepitcal of AA, and still don't really... JUST LOVE the meetings...
I found the key for me, as far as AA was concerned, was a caring, SOBER, sponsor that I could relate to.
That made all the difference for me.
Best of luck.
EDIT: What I mean't was, I don't sit at work and think about just wanting to go to the meetings... I make myself do it, and afterwards, am always thankful I did.
It's like practicing for a sport... no its usually hard work and not always fun, but you do it, because that what it takes to achieve your goal... mine being sobriety, and not just being sober, but being happy as well.
I found the key for me, as far as AA was concerned, was a caring, SOBER, sponsor that I could relate to.
That made all the difference for me.
Best of luck.
EDIT: What I mean't was, I don't sit at work and think about just wanting to go to the meetings... I make myself do it, and afterwards, am always thankful I did.
It's like practicing for a sport... no its usually hard work and not always fun, but you do it, because that what it takes to achieve your goal... mine being sobriety, and not just being sober, but being happy as well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by michael89
I just need some good advise.
Go back to AA and listen to the sober oldtimers......
Keep going back until what they tell you makes sense.
Re-read your original post.... do you see that you are the problem, not everything else?
I wish you the best, I truly identify with where you are at... I was there too.
SURRENDER.
Bob R.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Buffalo Bill's territory, NY
Posts: 36
Honestly, I tried AA as well. I felt as you do. HOW CAN THESE PEOPLE JUST FALL INTO THIS SOBRIETY THING??? It didn't work for me, but I kept going, pretending and HOPING someday I WOULD GET IT.
I didn't. I sought out an addiction doctor and found there are several alternatives....many that are unknown to most of us. I trusted her, told her I could not do this alone and was scared as hell.
When I checked out and paid my copay, I tucked the receipt in my purse.
I took it out a couple days later and she hand wrote: There is help. Don't give up. You have other options. Please, trust me.
Have I sobered up...well for a month and then failed because I did not follow her advice....I needed to call someone, anyone, but I did not. It takes a toll.
DO NOT GIVE UP....if i could make one month sober...YOU CAN!
Keep posting here....it's a supportive place.
I didn't. I sought out an addiction doctor and found there are several alternatives....many that are unknown to most of us. I trusted her, told her I could not do this alone and was scared as hell.
When I checked out and paid my copay, I tucked the receipt in my purse.
I took it out a couple days later and she hand wrote: There is help. Don't give up. You have other options. Please, trust me.
Have I sobered up...well for a month and then failed because I did not follow her advice....I needed to call someone, anyone, but I did not. It takes a toll.
DO NOT GIVE UP....if i could make one month sober...YOU CAN!
Keep posting here....it's a supportive place.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by tammygirl
HOW CAN THESE PEOPLE JUST FALL INTO THIS SOBRIETY THING??? It didn't work for me, but I kept going, pretending and HOPING someday I WOULD GET IT.
Guest
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 115
Michael89,
I can relate somewhat to what you said, but it happened to me a tad later in life - 24 maybe? I can't remember. I'm 37 now. Alcoholism runs in my family, so that was probably a bad card to get.
You don't have to go to AA. The reason people want AA is for community and help like this site. Some people even go to AA for other reasons. You have to get out of it what you put in.
There is a time you just know it's destroying your life and you get sick of everyone labeling you and you may just rebel due to that. The whole key is when you decide and know in your heart you have a problem, and then you do something about it. That is when the world turns.
Keep coming here. BELIEVE ME! This site is more addictive, but in a very good way.
Please stay and realize you can start here and work through your own acceptance (that is the most important), no one judges here.
-RDY
I can relate somewhat to what you said, but it happened to me a tad later in life - 24 maybe? I can't remember. I'm 37 now. Alcoholism runs in my family, so that was probably a bad card to get.
You don't have to go to AA. The reason people want AA is for community and help like this site. Some people even go to AA for other reasons. You have to get out of it what you put in.
There is a time you just know it's destroying your life and you get sick of everyone labeling you and you may just rebel due to that. The whole key is when you decide and know in your heart you have a problem, and then you do something about it. That is when the world turns.
Keep coming here. BELIEVE ME! This site is more addictive, but in a very good way.
Please stay and realize you can start here and work through your own acceptance (that is the most important), no one judges here.
-RDY
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,937
Originally Posted by michael89
Everyone consistently tried telling me what I needed to do, but it seemed like they needed to take their own advise because they weren't doing anything with their own lives in the first place. They nearly drove me insane.
I just need some good advise....... Any advise? Please?
I just need some good advise....... Any advise? Please?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Posts: 778
After several months of in and out trips in Alcoholics Anonymous I was struck sober on the morning of July 25, 2009. I had very little if anything to do with that. Now, the kicker, what's kept me separated since that time?
The answer: a whole lot of Grace and whole lot of other things that I eventually learned are my responsibility to do. I knew nothing when I got to AA....for your case it may be important to note I got to AA when I was 25...and yes, all those neat women pinching me on the cheek, saying, "oh what a baby, what are you doing here, you are so young?" I wanted to slap them, I was a mad dog for booze, Listerine, Olde English, or Jack Daniels...whatever, whenever, as long as it changed the way Aaron felt about Aaron. I am not going to bore the rest of the group with my entire drunkalogue, but if you are having trouble relating PM me anytime, I have plenty of madness to share, hospitals, rehabs, jails, suicide...
I nearly left AA, even with a good amount of sober time for the same reason....seemed like all these folks knew what I needed to be doing but none of them seemed to be able to implicate those principles in real life, no matter how great they could tell me about them. What I eventually learned is that some folks can hang out in meetings and that works for them apparently, it always baffled me, and later I learned how jealous I really was...it would be so easy for me to sit in a bunch of meetings and then just go about regular life again..but that is far from my truth.
It turned out I had to seek recovery with the same intensity that I sought booze, and since I was a mad dog for booze I needed to be a mad dog for AA in order for it to work. Eventually I was hooked up with some other mad dogs, absolute sickos, that not only could tell me what would work for me, but show me as well, some with 5 years, some with 35 years...all just as sick as me, but seemed to be getting through life some way some how sober...and fairly happy and content I should add.
So, my journey continues, and still does sober...I'd love to sit here and type to you how much I have it going on, some days it seems like I do, some days well...you get the point...what I will share is where I started on July 25, 2009 and where I am currently. You can draw your own conclusions and if you want some or have questions feel free to hit me up.
In 2009 when I walked out of a jail cell I had a couple bags of clothes, no car, no job, no phone, no place to sleep, no clue where my ex wife was hiding my son, etc...
Today, I am anxiously awaiting my professor to post my final grades for a computer science degree I am working on, I think I should be a senior now
Some nice folks are letting me live with them rent free I should add, while I pay some things off and get my feet on the ground. I have a relationship with my son, get to see him all the time, current on child support too btw. I have a car, a valid driver's license, which implies I am current with all my fines and insurance. I have a fulltime job, that doesn't pay a fortune but is willing to work around my school schedule and give me time off to spend when I have my son. I could go on, but I suspect you get the point. Not too bad for a cat that started with zero, or perhaps less than zero...and once again, I had very little if anything to do with that, other than following some directions from some sickos that came before me.
You can have some too, it's open for the taking.
The answer: a whole lot of Grace and whole lot of other things that I eventually learned are my responsibility to do. I knew nothing when I got to AA....for your case it may be important to note I got to AA when I was 25...and yes, all those neat women pinching me on the cheek, saying, "oh what a baby, what are you doing here, you are so young?" I wanted to slap them, I was a mad dog for booze, Listerine, Olde English, or Jack Daniels...whatever, whenever, as long as it changed the way Aaron felt about Aaron. I am not going to bore the rest of the group with my entire drunkalogue, but if you are having trouble relating PM me anytime, I have plenty of madness to share, hospitals, rehabs, jails, suicide...
I nearly left AA, even with a good amount of sober time for the same reason....seemed like all these folks knew what I needed to be doing but none of them seemed to be able to implicate those principles in real life, no matter how great they could tell me about them. What I eventually learned is that some folks can hang out in meetings and that works for them apparently, it always baffled me, and later I learned how jealous I really was...it would be so easy for me to sit in a bunch of meetings and then just go about regular life again..but that is far from my truth.
It turned out I had to seek recovery with the same intensity that I sought booze, and since I was a mad dog for booze I needed to be a mad dog for AA in order for it to work. Eventually I was hooked up with some other mad dogs, absolute sickos, that not only could tell me what would work for me, but show me as well, some with 5 years, some with 35 years...all just as sick as me, but seemed to be getting through life some way some how sober...and fairly happy and content I should add.
So, my journey continues, and still does sober...I'd love to sit here and type to you how much I have it going on, some days it seems like I do, some days well...you get the point...what I will share is where I started on July 25, 2009 and where I am currently. You can draw your own conclusions and if you want some or have questions feel free to hit me up.
In 2009 when I walked out of a jail cell I had a couple bags of clothes, no car, no job, no phone, no place to sleep, no clue where my ex wife was hiding my son, etc...
Today, I am anxiously awaiting my professor to post my final grades for a computer science degree I am working on, I think I should be a senior now
Some nice folks are letting me live with them rent free I should add, while I pay some things off and get my feet on the ground. I have a relationship with my son, get to see him all the time, current on child support too btw. I have a car, a valid driver's license, which implies I am current with all my fines and insurance. I have a fulltime job, that doesn't pay a fortune but is willing to work around my school schedule and give me time off to spend when I have my son. I could go on, but I suspect you get the point. Not too bad for a cat that started with zero, or perhaps less than zero...and once again, I had very little if anything to do with that, other than following some directions from some sickos that came before me.You can have some too, it's open for the taking.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Welcome to SR!
Stick around here for a while. When you are willing to work AVRT, Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, see an addiction counselor, try another AA meeting where you can find a sponsor to guide you through the steps, or find or create another program, you will. Something will work for you!
Love, hugs, & peace,
Stick around here for a while. When you are willing to work AVRT, Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, see an addiction counselor, try another AA meeting where you can find a sponsor to guide you through the steps, or find or create another program, you will. Something will work for you!
Love, hugs, & peace,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
