cheeto

For me one drink is not enough! Honestly I drink to get a really good buzz not a social few sips of 1 or 2 glass of wine.I would even look at my glass of wine when it was half empty and would be thinking about getting more even when my glass was not finished.
Another thing I know about myself is that I would always say just one or two drinks and then my judgement would go out the window or I figured what the heck I might as well finish the bottle or bottles cause why leave just a little or that I'm not drinking tomorrow,yea right!!!
I want more than anything to get it right this time cause I KNOW I cannot have even one drink or I am back on the road to hell that I have been on for so long.Other people can drink and leave it but that is not me so I better do something about it NOW not tomorrow.I have wasted so much of my life drinking and I deserve to have a life and not feel sick,guilty,lonely and like such a loser everyday.We have to look at ourselves honestly and figure it out,we just need to do it sooner than later.
:ghug3

Anna

Yes, you do deserve a good life and you can accomplish that.

Fully accept that alcohol is not an option for you and your mind will begin to work in different and healthy ways.

WingsFan13

You're right, you do deserve better. I was recently in your situation and I've tried everything, the only solution for me is to NEVER have that first drink. You'll hear your addictive voice tell you that one is ok, you deserve it, you can control it, etc.....but if you're like me, the fact is that once you have that first sip, all your rational thought is out the window.

Don't take that first drink, fight back on your addictive voice and get the life you deserve

lydiebreeze

I could never understand how someone could have just 1 drink either. It made no sense to me. Why drink if you're not going to get completely plowed? And if I DID manage, for decorums sake to have just 1 I was MISERABLE - wanting another.
Of course I hardly ever managed to do that - and spent many years on the phone apologizing for what "I did" - having no idea what that could be - just to sort of find out - how bad WAS I last night?
I'm in AA again for the 3rd time in the last 2 years - and I'm in your boat - it HAS to work this time. But guess what? IT'S not gonna work - I'M the one who has to work IT.
Oy.

Sapling

That's pretty much the secret of it. Grab yourself a good sponsor and don't let go.

SOBERINNEPA

I drank to feel the "click". There was a spot between the third and fourth shot where the world shifted laterally, ever so slightly, and I'd feel the "click".

And, if I could have stopped there, I might not have ended up in any of the dark places I went. I might not have the memories of the awful things I did. I know I'd be healthier and wealthier.

At that time, stopping at the click wasn't an option. Now, taking that first drink isn't an option. I know how the first drink will taste. It will taste like, "MORE!".

sugarbear1

I am living on borrowed time. I'm not sure what I "deserve" as I've left a trail of damage behind me.

I am happy you are committing to sobriety!

badatbooze

I feel the same way sugarbear. We just need to keep our chins up and stay sober and things will get lots better. And maybe. Someday we will see that we really do deserve all of that and more. I would like to be proud of the rest of my life.

Wayne444

badatbooze, "I would like to be proud of the rest of my life" - that is a moving sentence for me. Is that too much to ask of ourselves? To simply conduct myself in a way where I'm not ashamed of my life? We all owe ourselves that and deserve it, just by virtue of being human. Just need to make happen and keep it happening. That reinforces to me why I need stay sober. I owe it to myself. We all do.

I'm with you Cheeto. I now know I can't have just one. That way madness lies.

instant

This is why moderation never worked for me for any length of time. My capacity to develop cravings made it a nerve racking experience anyway.

I am now solid in my sobriety but I still see no value in social drinking and stopping at 1 or 2 !!

tomsteve

ya say," we have to look at ourselves honestly and figure it out", but how is that done??? personally, i had to learn. my best thinking got me drunk. it wasnt gonna get me sober.
if the pain of getting drunk is greater than the pain of reality, then maybe the "you" part of we is ready and willing to learn how. humility is teachability and YOU have to put in the footwork, but it aint that bad iffen yer willing to learn.
yup, darn tootin right yer worth it!

Zencat

That is the best solution there is. Simple, real, untangled with from the mysterious, just a raw reality that anyone can grasp if they have a mind to that is.