MightyMung

After reading into the difference between 'closed' and 'open' meetings (previously assuming I couldn't attend closed meetings as a newbie, thus writing all of the meetings in my area off), i've decided to go to my first meeting on Friday. I would go earlier but i'm working tomorrow and Thursday i've got to go to university to sort out some paperwork.

Wish me luck! The last alcohol support group I went to I was told to leave because I kept reverse engineering the advice being given to highlight massive, unhelpful flaws in the reasoning.. is AA led by alcoholics or people who've "learned" how to deal with those with drinking problems? (and therefore don't really know much about the issue at all)

MightyMung

Oh, and sorry - for some reason the title didn't recognise the second capital 'A'

Dee74

I'm not an AAer but it's not like a group led by counsellors Mung - it's just regular alcoholics like you and me.

D

Taking5

I don't know if you've read this but I reccomend it for anyone starting AA:

Your First AA Meeting

MightyMung

So there's no-one leading the group?

The last group I went to, there was a 'trained' social worker standing at the front saying things like "imagine how your responsibilities suffer through your drinking".

Obviously, being a chirpy, arrogant 16 year old at the time I pointed out that I had no responsibilities, hence the reckless drinking. The woman would neatly point out that I would gain responsibilities with time, thinking that she had solved the problem. I courteously reminded her that the drinking was inhibiting my maturation, meaning that I probably wouldn't gain any responsibilities at my going rate, etc etc. Eventually I pointed out that the literature they had provided calculated alcoholic units wrong, labeling a 568ml glass of 5% lager as only 2 units when it's 2.8.. got asked to leave, which damaged my faith in community led groups.

EDIT: ^ made myself sound a bit aggressive there, oops! What I mean to say is, I hope AA is based more on experience than theory

MightyMung

Thanks, hadn't seen that actually. Will read right now.

doggonecarl

Try going in a little more humble, and instead of listening for the fallacies and holes in reasoning, listen for the similarities to your problem...and what worked to keep them sober.

Good luck.

sugarbear1

Try going with an open mind. Just listen. It's not a rational program, it's full of paradox.

If you are willing to go to any lengths, just listen, maybe say your name when they ask who is new. Try not being that 16 year old.

Try not to argue with anything said. That is a challenge I'm not sure you can perform.

Best wishes,

MightyMung

Yeah, I definitely don't want to go in looking like a smart alec who has read up on the subject for a few hours and feels "like he should say something".

I'm hoping it'll be a helpful exercise in my recovery. I'm looking forward to it.

Sapling

I think you'll like it MM....As soon as I walked through the door I knew I was in the right place. I hope it's a great meeting.

BadCompany

That's the general rule. Without a doubt you will have chaff with the wheat. Which one you take home with you is up to you.

MightyMung

Thanks Sapling, I'm sure it'll be a good experience, even if I feel it isn't for me in the end. I'm going to go to more than one in different areas to properly get a feel for the community, and i'll post on here to discuss how it went

GerandTwine

Hi MightyMung,

As I don't go all over this site, I just found out you were back.

I never posted to you before, but I remember when you first started posting last month and mentioned how the girls were much more interested in you when you were not drinking at the pub. It's funny, when I finally saw your pic today, I thought to myself, that's exactly what I imagined MM looks like after he first described himself. LOL! (I'm old enough to be your grandfather.)

You mentioned on some thread a few days ago you were using "another method" and that AVRT is "more your cup of tea" on another post. I might have missed a post somewhere, but I'm curious about your present take on AVRT because it helped me a great deal.

GT

awuh1

MM, It seems you like to find flaws with what is presented to you. You are going to find ample opportunity to do this in AA. The membership has a host of very flawed individuals whose logic, intellectual acumen and articulation are frequently lacking. I would have you ask yourself, in the face of all these flaws, how these people have become sober (not to mention for the most part happy). I would suggest that this fault finding tendency may be present in order to “invalidate” any method attempted and thus provide a rational for further alcohol and or substance use. I dunno perhaps not, I’ve been wrong before. In any event you’re going to need to keep a truly open mind to “get it”.

Sapling

That's a great way to look at it. If it's not for you at least you tried it. Be sure and hang around before and after meetings...Talk to people...Ask questions.

sugarbear1

I truly hope you find a sponsor who can guide you through the 12 steps, fearlessly and fairly quickly. Someone who really knows how to do this can elicit a strong (spiritual) experience for you.

Meetings don't keep me sober, in fact, most of them annoy me (yes, I do step work on them regularly). The steps are what saved my life. The steps are what I work regularly to grow in my spirituality.

Db1105

I got sober in AA back when I was 17 years old. It will only work if you work the 12 steps. My way only got me drunk and usually in some kind of trouble. You can check out AA. Org for more info.

Mark75

Read the book

waw545

A sponsor would tell you to sit down and listen he may say dont say anything. Just take what helps you and leave the rest behind all the stuff that you hear that dont make sense leave it in the rooms. If you going to other meetings for support thats all right to maybe you can find what works for you because what works for me might not work for you hang in there it gets better. Blessings to you.